High Lord Dave's Blog

I hate Fox

2011-05-25T08:08:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I said it.

Again.

All year, Fox has Idol on Wednesday and Thursday, but for some reason, they moved the singing show to Tuesday for the finale performance show. Do they really want to mess with DWTS that much? What the eff?

Since I'm on vacation, I didn't get to see the show, but I'll bet it was just like Nashville Star, only with a bigger budget. I'll just have to watch it no-filler style on the DVR.

Have I mentioned that I hate Fox?

High Lord. Slayer of the White-Gloved Mouse. Out.

The short version

2011-05-18T20:14:00.002-04:00

Since I'm protesting the length of "competition" shows, tonight you guys are getting the short recap as I watch the show no-filler style and pack for my vacation at the same time.

Last week, my results recap got scrubbed by the Blogger outage, so here's what I think about James's elimination: it's about damn time! I thought he was going to go home a week or two ago. I don't have anything against him personally, but I just didn't understand who was voting for this guy. His elimination surprised some people, but definitely wasn't a Daughtry-level shock. I think James's problem is that he wasn't picking up new voters and people were tired of him shrieking glory notes every week.

On to the show:

First up: Scotty with more country music. It's a good choice, if a very, very safe. Beyonce is effing hawt. I liked it, even though it wasn't anything we hadn't already seen.

Lauren also sings . . . wait for it . . . country! Like Scotty, I think she's sandbagging. After all, the two of them only have to outlive Haley's inevitable implosion and then this will be "Country Idol"

Next up is Haley, who I think right now will go home tomorrow because I think the country juggernaut is rolling over everyone. Of course, she's hung around this long despite repeated flirtation with the Bottom 3. Has a Zepplin song ever been on this show? So far this is the best of the night, if only because it wasn't a "safe" song selection.

Taking over for Clive Davis is Jimmy as the spinner of the Wheel of Death™.

Jimmy goes easy on Scotty and picks . . . wait for it . . . more country. It's also good, but not great. I wonder if Randy is going to criticise Scotty for poor song choice like he did to K-Mac on this same night.

Lauren gets more country from Jimmy, and it's not great either, but it's still good enough. Don't get me wrong; I like country music, but they have their own show. This show is supposed to pick the next great pop star, but it's done a remarkably poor job of it.

For Haley, Jimmy picks some Fleetwood Mac, which may signal her impending upset of one of the other two TCOs. I think she's made a strong charge towards the end of the series and could sneak into next week's finale.

The third round is the judges's pick and they also go all-country, all-the-time for Scotty. He has been the most consistent performer of the season and people either love him or they despise him. If he's eliminated, it's because all of James's voters went to Haley.

They softball Lauren, too, but I guess that's kind of their job. She's wearing a different prom dress this week. I don't dislike the performance, but I dislike this song. I give it a big aiiiiiiight. Randy, of course, has to name-drop.

The show is running short on time, but they still show Haley getting her AT&T text that she's singing the Dave Coulier song. Did you know that this was my psycho ex-girlfriend's favourite song. I guess that should have been a tip-off. I didn't think this was pimp-spot worthy, but at least it wasn't country.

The Good
Haley, "What Is and What Should Never Be"

The Bad
Haley, "Rhiannon"
Scotty, "Are You Going to Kiss Me Or Not?"
Haley, "You Oughta Know"
Lauren, "I Hope You Dance"
Scotty, "If She Believes In Me"
Scotty, "Amazed"
Lauren, "She's a Wild One"
Lauren, "If I Die Young"

The Ugly

Of the three, I think Haley will probably be going home. However, if she picked up all of James's voters, the person going home will be Lauren. Scotty has simply been handed too many votes to be eliminated.

Who should go home: Lauren
Who will go home: Haley.

Tomorrow, we'll hope that Blogger doesn't crap out on me again.

High Lord. Defender of Bree-land. Out.

What's wrong with Idol? What's wrong with me?

2011-05-11T19:46:00.000-04:00

Every year, people (myself included) invariably complain about Idol. Whether it's our favourite singer getting dumped or the voting not working out the way we like or even the crappy mentors they bring on the show. It always seems that somethings "wrong".

So what is it this year?

The judges are nicer than they've been, which is something I've been wanting every since Simon stopped offering refreshingly honest critiques and started phoning it in.

They've largely done away with the theme weeks that introduced an artist who is there solely to push their latest project.

So why am I less enthused about this year's crop of singers than I have been for a while?

I think part of it is that the show has become bland and predictable, just like DWTS. The singers are self-aware and rather than trying to win, they mostly try to be inoffensive. Despite the promises of a singing "competition", which I truly believe Idol was for about two seasons, it has become a blatant popularity contest, which is ruled by the texting powers of 12 year old girls.

Before I pile on Idol, let's talk about what they've done right:

The new judges panel is generally credible and has moved away from the caustic, attention-whoring quartet that occupied those seats before. I wish Ellen had stuck around because I think she would have fit in much better with J-Lo and Steven and she did when Simon was still on the panel. It seems that they show is trying to be more about the singers than entertaining Simon Cowell or providing a forum for he and Paula to "quarrel". Returning to the 3 person table dropped two points off the Meter O'Suckitude™.

The quality of the singing is generally better. Each year, I say it, and each year it's usually true: the field keeps getting deeper. The 10^th singer would have been about 5^th back in season 3. That's not to say the winner this year is necessarily better than say Kelly, Carrie or Rueben, but that the overall level of quality of the singers is higher.

The emphasis of the show is back on the music. For about four years, the show seemed to be more about the spectacle and less about the songs. I think this year, with Nigel returning as producer, the emphasis is back on the singers and the stage.

Of course, the show still has its problems, most of which should be very familiar to my eight faithful readers (plus my mom). I'll get to some of those later on.

For tonight's show, each of the kids is singing two songs, one which inspires them and the other from the Leiber and Stoller songbook.

Leading off is T/AG who is going to take a song with way too many glory notes and add some more. Maybe because this song seems to have received a lot of extra airplay lately, James comes off as more cheesy then inspirational. Plus, he was sharp for most of it. Have I mentioned that one of my roommates from college looked just like Journey's new lead singer, Arnel Pineda? In fact, I don't think I've ever seen Arnel and Blobbo in the same room . . . hmmmmmmmmm . . .

Haley is inspired by Michael Jackson and wouldn't you know it; it's not "Man in the Mirror"! Yay! That gets her points right there. Did they sack Jimmy because he gave such crappy advice to Haley and Jacob last week? I'm no Haley fan because her voice annoys me. Why does she get swaying back up singers sitting on the steps? J-Lo chastises her for crappy song selection. Randy follows along because she doesn't fit into the little box he wants to put her in. I didn't like it. I didn't hate it. Meh.

Can you believe Fox canceled "Breaking In"? WTF? The show was just getting good. Plus, it had plenty of nerd humour (last week's episode was centered around Comic Con). I hate that Fox will pull the plug on a good show after five episode just because it doesn't shoot out of the gate with as high a number as they'd like, but then they'll just replace it with something just as crappy, when maybe the first show would have done better if the word-of-mouth got around. Look at a show like The Big Bang Theory, which is probably the funniest sit-com on the air right now: if the Fox suits had followed their usual MO, it would have gone away after four weeks. If I were pitching a show, there's no way I'd ever take it to Fox because they'd cancel it without giving it a chance (Firefly, Fastlane, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, etc.).

OTP Scotty is next, and I'll bet he's inspired by a country song. His fiddle player is smokin' hawt. And he's singing about 9/11, in what I cynically believe to be a blatant move expressly designed to pander for votes. Whoever was in charge of lighting him needs to be fired. As a performance, it's actually pretty good. It's not a stretch for him vocally, but it plays to his strengths and lets him do what he does best. I think at this point, he would have to attack Lauren with a five pound sledgehammer on stage to not make it to the finale. Also, because he was sitting down and playing the guitar, we don't have to watch him hold the microphone like a burrito.

I can't believe that Ralph didn't get eliminated from DWTS last night. Obviously, there are way too many people voting for him. Let's just hope he doesn't do irreparable harm to his leg next week.

Landing in the Pimp Spot this week is Lauren, who is making up for missing prom by wearing a dress that probably cost more than Mrs. High Lord's wedding dress. I wish they'd bring Martina back to be the mentor again; she was one of the better ones. Where Scotty sounds the same every week, Lauren runs the gamut of country music and I like that. I think she's probably the best pure vocalist left, and I think there's a good chance that she could sneak into the finale. However, I think the judges are spot on when they say that she's holds herself back sometimes.

I think I'm developing a Pavlovian urge to punch someone every time Randy says "in it to win it."

The second round starts and Lady Gaga drops by to help the singers out. I watched her concert the other night on HBO and it wasn't half bad. Sure, she's very reminiscent of Madonna from back in the day, but I like that she seems to have Madonna's same single-minded dedication to success, rather than being all about the party, which is what some pop stars are about.

They do a shake up of the order and Haley is next. She's also dressed for prom, even though she's too old. She's very shouty, but that's her thing. It's much better than her first song. The performance part of it is also much better, but I think she's fighting against the current at this point in the season.

Scotty is up next and I don't know if he can be Gagafied. I think he'd probably be a funny guy after about four beers. The burrito is back, but I like that he's not afraid to embrace the Velveeta of the song he picked. I think this is him sandbagging.

If these are the songs of Leiber and Stoller, why are Gaga and Jimmy the mentors?

Lauren is next, meaning they're giving James the real Pimp Spot. She traded her prom dress for sparklies in her hair. She goes Elvis on us, and I think it's a good move. I like that Scotty and Lauren both are trying something other than easy ballad.

Wrapping up the show is T/AG and I'm sure he'll be shouting his way all the way into the finale. Have you figured out that he annoys me? Jimmy annoys me, too, just not as much. I think part of my problem with James is that like Scotty, he sounds basically the same every time he sings, and while that isn't necessarily bad, I just like Scotty better. It also doesn't help that he comes off as a less talented, derivative, not gay Adam Lambert wannabe. He's an energetic performer, but I'm not sure he deserves to be the American Idol. Of course, it would absolutely make the Vote for the Worst crowd's day if he won.

The Good
Lauren, "Do It Anyway"

The Bad
Scotty, "Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning"
Lauren, "Trouble"
Haley, "I, Who Have Nothing"
James, "Love Potion #9"
Scotty, "Young Blood"
James, "Don't Stop Believing"
Haley, "Earth Song"

The Ugly

At this point, I think Scotty and James are shoo-ins to get to next week. Lauren will probably also make it because she had a strong night. I think Haley, will be eliminated tomorrow night, and that's probably the right call. Of course, we could also be in for a Daughtery-level shocker, too.

Let's assume for a second that James, Lauren and Scotty are next week's singers. Who will move on? James and Scotty were both handed a gazillion votes in the audition and Hollywood rounds with the massive face time they got. But are they picking up new voters? I don't think so.

I did an unofficial poll at my place of employment and no one there really likes either of the two guys who are left. They're kept around right now solely due to the power of 12 year old girls. I think Jacob and Casey's voters are going to Haley and Lauren.

That means that Lauren could be the silent assassin who sneaks into the finale, especially if she gets almost all of Haley's voters after tomorrow. I guess speculating about stuff like this is the fun of the show with four singers left.

Who should go home: Haley
Who will go home: Haley

I'm going to watch the last few episodes of Breaking In, then either send hate mail to Fox or try and level up my champion in the lone-lands.

High Lord. Grave Digger. Out.

Idol must read my blog

2011-05-04T19:49:00.002-04:00

Normally, at this point in the season, the show would be an hour long. But instead, they've taken my advice and have them singing duets in addition to their solo performances. Now, we just need them to introduce Screw Your Buddy Night™ . . .

EDIT:

I started the blog last night and then my computer crapped out on me. I definitely need to do a good, old-fashioned format>reinstall.

So I missed live blogging the show, but I will say that I think the person going home tonight (Thursday) will be Jacob. I had a shaky night and hasn't been handed a gazillion votes in the audition rounds (James, Lauren and Scotty) and he didn't get to sing last (Haley).

Anyway, that's the short version of the blog. Hopefully, I'll get around to reinstalling Windows on my laptop and I'll be okay for next week.

High Lord. Little Wonder. Out.

Results and lots of crap

2011-04-28T20:53:00.003-04:00

I'll admit that I haven't been watching much of the results show. On top of being too long, it seems that they've brought in some extra filler, so I don't feel obligated to watch it all.

Seacrest tells us that we're going to be surprised by the results. He plays some games with the kids before finally revealing that the three people in danger are Casey, Jacob and Scotty. In taking a page from DWTS, they aren't necessarily the 3 lowest vote getters; only one of them was.

The obvious choice is for Jacob to be eliminated. He peaked early and had to sing first; he was my call to be eliminated after last night's performance show.

Casey could also be in danger. He was eliminated by voting once before, and could be again.

If Scotty were kicked off, I'd be a little surprised, but not really. He's been a OTP and like Chris Daughtry, he may not be picking up new voters and could be eliminated.

They're running low on time and Seacrest announces that Jacob is safe (and doesn't quite believe it himself), then he tells Casey that he's going home. Casey takes it well; he's been on borrowed time since he was the lowest vote getter once before.

He then sings himself off in his own way, getting lots of hugs from the girls and leaving some random guy hanging when he tries to go up top.

I don't think this is the wrong move, but I think Jacob would have been the correct choice to go home this week (with Casey getting eliminated next week). I wonder who is gong to pick up his voters now . . .

High Lord. Master of Forgotten Lore. Out.

Is it really Carole King night?

2011-04-27T19:47:00.008-04:00

After last week's surprising (and encouraging) lack of "Georging", we're down to six singers. The show is 90 minutes tonight, which means there will be 9 minutes of singing and 81 minutes of filler. To get back to the crappy themes, tonight's theme is apparently the songs of Carole King. While I think her songs are good, how does that make these singers into contemporary artists? She hasn't released a studio album since 2001.

How is this really helping them? I'd even prefer the theme to be more like Glee and cover Lady Gaga or someone a little more current.

As we're waiting for the show, how about that NFL draft? Is there even a draft? All I've read about is the lockout and how the owners are crying about how poor they are. Plus, the commissioner was on the radio the other day telling us how the players are trying to end professional football as we know it.

Excuse me, Roger . . . last I checked, it was the owners who opted out of the current collective bargaining agreement, not the players. It seems to me that the owners are the greedy ones, not the players. If Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder think they got a crappy deal back in 2006, why did they sign the contract? Shouldn't they have walked away then? Or was Jerry too busy figuring out how to build his $1.2 billion monolith? Hey, if owners are so poor, where did he get $1.2 billion for that stadium? Oh, that's right: The taxpayers of Texas.

Sorry, guys, I really don't feel sorry for anyone in the NFL labour dispute, least of all the owners.

Now on to the show . . .

Did your TV screens just crack when FRC eye-boinked the camera?

In addition to saddling the singers with a catalog that's fifty years old, Idol brought in Babyface to help mentor the group. Isn't mentoring Jimmy's job? Why does he need will.i.am and Babyface's help?

First up is GDM who is automatically my choice to go home this week, even before he sings a note on stage. On top of going in the dreaded Dead Man's Spot, I think he peaked too early, and that's a bad combination. As if his dance moves weren't already gay enough, he's wearing a really ugly blue/yellow shirt/vest combo under a hideous plaid jacket. Vocally, he's pretty good, but I think he's lost too much ground already. His performance seemed to get back some of the confidence I think he's lost over the past three or four weeks. Since half of the field will be in the bottom 3, I think he's in real danger of being eliminated this week.

This past weekend, I created a bunch of Free-to-Play LOTRO toons so I'd have enough members to fill out a kinship (that's a "guild" for you WoW players). I called it "Sauron Owes Me Money" just for laughs, and I'm not really interested in leading a kinship, I just want to be able to buy a house in three months for the extra storage and have a place to put all of my extra housing items. So if you're on Elendilmir and just need a place to park a toon or two, send me a tell either on Vraeden or Stealtharella.

For Lauren, Jimmy brings Miley Cyrus in to help boost her confidence. I didn't like Lauren at first, but I think she's grown as the season has progressed. She's got a lot of raw talent, and when the season started, I thought she was the most likely candidate for a Leah Labelle-like meltdown, but to her credit, she's handled everything very well. I wonder if they picked that guy out of the audience at random, or if they're otherwise involved.

Both of the singers so far tonight have been good. I know I've said this every year for the past two or three seasons, but the field this season is deep. Maybe not as good as say, season 5, but very strong nonetheless.

Wrapping up the first half of the show is a duet between alleged couple Haley and Casey. I guess this is why the show is an hour and a half. At least they extended the show for actual singing. They actually have a pretty good harmony together, and not just good in a Sonny and Cher way. Casey hams things up, and their "choreography" is appropriately cheezy. I actually liked it.

I am very unhappy that Obama gave out his long form birth certificate today to shut the "birthers" up. I was hoping that he's sit on it until midway through the next primary season so the Republicans could continue to show themselves to be catering to extreme fringe elements instead of actually being concerned with leading the country. As it is, the whole birth certificate thing has been nothing but a boon to the Democrats, so why did he release it now? Of course, this also makes The Donald the Republican's #1 candidate for the presidency, even though he historically will withdraw just before the election filing deadline.

Next up is Scotty who is going to countryfy "You've Got a Friend". Mrs. High Lord just threw up a little in her mouth. I work with a girl who despises him. Actually, despises him is the wrong word; she thinks he's on the wrong show, and I concur. If you look up "One Trick Pony" in the dictionary, you'll see his picture. I actually dislike this arrangement. He's got the wrong voice for this song. It doesn't help that not only does he have to live up to singing a Carole King song, he also cannot live up to the benchmark of James Taylor. Vocally, it's not bad, but nor is it flawless. He just can't fill the shoes.

Yesterday, filming started on the Avengers movie. Yay!!! Now I just wish they'd make an X-Men movie featuring Psylocke . . .

T/AG gets the random sit-down interview just so we can watch his facial twitches caused by the Tourette's and they can slide in some more product placement. How's he going to work his screech into this? I like the acappella opening. The arrangement works to his strengths. Unfortunately, he gets a little . . . well, a lot . . . shouty at the end, but otherwise, I was pleasantly surprised by James this week. It had a pleasant, nostalgic 50s sound to it.

The country pair of Lauren and Scotty is next. Is it just me or does he look like Alfred E. Newman? Since this is their third duet together, you'd expect them to match up well, but tonight their harmonies are off tonight. It was safe and inoffensive, but nothing particularly memorable.

Just an FYI: I will not be watching any of the royal wedding. My mother, however, has taken the day off from work and told us not to call her until the TV coverage is over unless someone is in the process of being transported to the hospital.

Who's the five year old girl sitting on Steven's lap?

Casey is next and he goes rogue on the pop sensibilities of the show. I liked, even if it was a vocal mess. It was fun and different, which is a good sign for him. I don't know that he's right to be "the" American Idol, though. If he were to win, I think he'd quicly flame out like Taylor Hicks. In fact, stylistically, they remind me a lot of one another. I think he's a very entertaining performer, but I don't see him being a traditional pop artist, which is what this show is supposed to find. I do, however, think that the tweenage girls could having him singing a CCS here in about a month.

The last solo performance is Haley, who is now, by virtue of her placement in the singing order, going to advance to the next round. I just noticed that Haley does her share of eye-boinking the camera. Not as much as FRC, but enough to be annoying. She is sharp in a couple of places, and her outfit is almost as short as another, past, Haley who used to sing on this show (not a complaint, mind you). I didn't think it was the best of the night, but it still wasn't great.

Wrapping up the show are Jacob and James, which is an odd pairing, almost like the Kris/Gokey pairing from a few years ago. At least one of them doesn't spend the entire song ignoring the other singer, showing that he's a ginormous tool like Gokey did. Their harmonies were off throughout the whole thing, but it could have been worse. I think Jacob was the big beneficiary because he had to sing first and we got to see him again just before the voting started.

The Good
Casey and Haley, "I Feel the Earth Move"

The Bad
James, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow"
Lauren, "Where You Lead"
Haley, "Beautiful"
Casey, "That Old Sweet Roll"
Lauren and Scotty, "Up on the Roof"
Jacob, "Oh, No! Not My Baby"
Scotty, "You've Got a Friend"

The Ugly

Who should be in the bottom 3: Casey, Jacob Scotty
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Jacob, Lauren

Who should go home: Scotty
Who will go home: Jacob

Right now, I think all six of the singers have strong fanbases, and at this point, it's a matter of fractions of a percentage that will divide the votes. Scotty and James got handed a gazillion votes early on. Casey had to be saved, but I think that galvanised his followers into powervoting over and over and over, plus I think he's pick up voters, where some other singers may be losing them.

That leaves Haley, Lauren and Jacob as the people possibly in danger. I think Lauren has picked up the voting blocs of the other girls who were voted off. I don't think Haley is going to win, but Jacob had to go first and he's been weak lately. That's my call, and I'm sticking to it.

By the way, go watch "Breaking In" tonight. Ted McGinley is guest starring.

High Lord. Slayer of the Nameless. Out.

My least favourite night of the season

2011-04-21T20:16:00.002-04:00

As we all know, the group of seven is my least favourite results show because that's when they inevitably "George" someone in a very classless move that for some reason has grown legs and kept running year after year after year.

This is when Seacrest puts six singers in two groups of three. He then tells the seventh person that they are safe and that he or she has to pick which group he or she thinks they belong in. George Huff bit on this and selected the group that included Fantasia, LaToya and J-Hud, eschewing a group that included JPL, Jasmine Trias and John Stevens. That was the night Jennifer Hudson was inexplicably eliminated and it ushered in six more years of that crap.

The only elimination move with less class was the way Judd Harris was eliminated back in season 4 after Seacrest told him to take a seat on the couch (but didn't tell him he was safe).

Of the seven singers left, Stefano is the weakest singer, but to his credit, he's stronger than the person who finished #5 in about five or six of the past seasons. Like the past three or four years, the field at this point is pretty deep. There's no obvious frontrunner, which keeps things interesting.

The big question is why are the girls all being eliminated early? And if you think this is an anomaly, last year four of the first five singers eliminated were girls, and three of the first five eliminated singers in season 8 were girls.

I think they have to do something about the voting to dilute the excessive influence of tweenage girls with unlimited text message plans, but whether Idol will do anything is still up in the air, much less what they will end up doing.

On to the show . . .

We start off with a couple of mini-group sings plus the obligatory Ford product placement ad.

Then, surprisingly, Seacrest goes straight to regular results and tells Casey he's safe and Jacob that he's in danger. I guess they're not going to George anyone tonight. Yea!!!!

It seems the show has picked up some class.

Is anyone watching Game of Thrones on HBO? The first episode was on the other night and it's done very well. Mrs. High Lord is reading the books and says they're pretty good, too. I think I might wait until the first season (10 episodes) are over before I try to get through the books. It has a high production value and even though it's "fantasy", it's not corny or cheesy, in very much the same mold as Battlestar Galactica.

Does anyone but me think that last night was kind of a bogus theme? Sure they were supposed to sing more contemporary songs, but several of them went back to 2000 (Born to Fly, and yes, 2000 is in the 20^th Century, not the 21^st) and 1983 ("Swinging"). Shouldn't they have to sing a song that was written in 2001 or after?

Mrs. High Lord and I were out at Lowe's tonight looking for a new shower to go in the downstairs bathroom. This is a prelude to her gutting and remodeling the upstairs bathroom. This also follows her replacing the kitchen faucet and sink. The guy I sit next to at work asked me what I had done to get suckered into all the work this is going to entail.

I told him that I was stocking up points for the day when I come home from work and tell Mrs. High Lord that I'm taking off for Comic-Con, PAX Prime, DragonCon or something similar (and that I'm going to be coming back with some Jedi robes, a Colonial Viper pilot's flight suit or a Starfleet TOS movie uniform). Or the day when a BMW 3-series coupe shows up in the driveway.

As the results plod along, Stefano and Haley are put into the bottom 3, and Seacrest promptly declares Haley safe.

Next up is Katy Perry, who looks like and extra from the new Green Lantern movie (and showing off the girls very nicely). This is a very weird performance. Maybe it would make more sense if I were drinking.

With about 6 minutes left, we get to find out who is going to be eliminated. I wouldn't be sorry to see either of these guys go because neither is good enough to win. Stefano is the weakest vocalist left and Jacob peaked too early. Neither was the beneficiary of tons of face time (Scotty, James) or was saved by the judges (Casey).

After just a little bit of suspense, Stefano is eliminated, which probably should have happened about two weeks ago. From his backstage footage, he seems like a fun guy. It's just too bad that he spent all of his on-stage time singing power ballads and being just another OTP.

That leaves six singers left, all of whom were the beneficiaries of early face time and who are all (with the exception of James) solid vocalists. The trick now is for the remaining singers to pick up the voters of the people who were just kicked off (Paul, Pia and now Stefao).

I think Scotty and James have a legion of fans who are powervoting their hearts out. I just don't know that they're gaining any traction among the now-unaligned voters. Haley and Lauren have consolidated blocs, plus they're not splitting votes as they were when there were five other girls still on the show.

The way I see it, Jacob and Casey are in play. Jacob is the one who is in most need of a strong performance next week. He's been in the bottom 3 a lot and I don't see him getting many new voters. Casey escaped elimination once, but I think he really has to do something to try and assassinate either Lauren or his rumoured main squeeze, Haley. Like Michael Lynche, he might find himself saved, but still only able to salvage a fourth or fifth place finish.

Next up are the songs of Carole King. What do you want to bet that Casey sings Jazzman?

High Lord. Clubber. Out.

Will this finally be the week Stefano gets whacked?

2011-04-20T19:58:00.007-04:00

Maybe the judges will take it upon themselves to finally do some judging and pass out a few harsh reviews to the singers who deserve them. I appreciate that Idol is trying to be nicer because, in truth, there was a time when they had gotten really mean. Remember the "other door" thing that went on a few years ago? Simon, for all of the truth that he spoke, sometimes was mean just for the sake of being mean, and he was often out of line.

Still, he and (occasionally) Randy spoke the truth first. Steven and J-Lo speak the truth that they see as performers, and to their great credit, they often give very constructive feedback (especially J-lo). On the other hand, there comes a time when they need to say, "That just wasn't very good."

I'd rather they did that every now and then than for them to stare at Seacrest in disbelief when a good singer (Pia) gets whacked when others are left to continue one at their expense, then berate "America" for not voting off the "right" person. Last week (and really over the last few years), I posted that the judges should be empowered to do some actual judging, and not just be spectators. While that takes some influence away from "America" (that is if, "America" means tweenage girls with unlimited text messaging plans), it also means maybe the weakest singers will actually get kicked off.

I just read that Idol is considering ways to tweak the voting, but we'll see if anything actually happens. I don't think the judges should be giving numerical scores, but I think they need to have some actual role in determining who stays and who goes like on SYTYCD, at least until the top 6, when the voting should be turned over to "America".

But first, we get to hear from this year's eliminated singers, which is actually kind of nice. Of course, it also reeks of superflous (is there any other kind?) filler. And look, Mark Ballas is in the audience to cheer on his honey, Pia. I wonder whose idea the cross promotion was.

While we're discussing DWTS, I wonder if our friend Jennifer is enjoying all of the shirtless Maks sightings. I know Mrs. High Lord is. I'm just happy the Future Mrs. High Lord 2.0 Kym Johnson is still around.

I am less happy that Kendra hasn't been kicked off, but that's also the judges's fault for giving her the same score as Petra.

Tonight's theme is "songs of the 21^st Century", which are supposedly songs that are less than 11 years old.

Leading off is Scotty who's singing "Swinging", which he claims is by Leann Rimes, but was actually first released by John Anderson in 1983. It's nothing to write home about, and in actuality, I hate this song, both the original and this rendition. The opening piece where the other singers impersonated his singing style was very, very funny. Both Jimmy and J-Lo give him some good advice to venture out of his comfort zone. The vocals are consistent and not out of tune, but it was a very safe selection, but even going first won't put him in danger tomorrow night when he gets Georged.

Randy uses the phrase "in it to win it", so everyone drink!

Next up is T/AG, who make some odd facial expressions during his random sit-down interview, which is probably due to his Tourette's. Hey, where is will.i.am? James goes Goth on us, or maybe Depeche Mode, circa 1986. I don't know this song, but if you're into this type of industrial, it's actually not bad. I don't get the marching band drummers, though. And the screeching needs to go. I'm sure the judges will slurp him and he, too, is in no danger of being eliminated, despite the early spot in the order.

Can Randy get through a show without dropping at least three names?

My RK is two bars away from level 47 and I cheated to finish his level 45 class quests. Instead of taking him into CD and Urugarth or grinding skirms to buy the four class quest items from a vendor or paying some ungodly amount of gold to purchase them at auction, me and three friends took four toons into CD/Uru and killed everything that moved to get all of the class quest items we needed for our lowbies. Yeah, I know it's a cheap way to get them, but it was really fast, and really easy, just like Amy Baxter from 10^th grade biology class.

The video pieces where the singers make fun of one another are pretty good. Why haven't hey done this before?

Taking up the threespot is Haley. Generally, you can't go wrong with a red dress (see Six, Cylon Number). I apologise for missing part of the performance because the twin blonde back up singers are hawt has hell. Like Paul, there's something about her voice that annoys me, but I can see why people like her. I didn't think it was a good technical vocal, but the performance was very solid. I liked her tonight better than anyone else who has gone so far.

Another candidate to be Georged is GDM who's wearing a shiney metallic suit. Didn't they go out of style about eight years ago. I guess thats in the 21^st Century. He doesn't get a marching band or hawt blonde backup singers, but he gets a string section. And he forgets/leaves out some of the words. Then he takes out his ear piece. Other than the flubbed lyrics, the vocal is very good. As a pure singer, Jacob is probably the best of the remaining singers, but I said the same thing about Anwar and look what happened to him.

Has anyone tried out the new MMO Rift? If so, let me know how you like it? I only have time for 1 MMO at a time, and the only one I will probably leave LOTRO for is the new Star Wars game.

Taking full advantage of the save is Casey whose backup singers are much less attractive than Haley's. I'm not a fan of this song, but Casey performs it well. My only issue with the performance is that he's smiling too much for an angry song. He borrows some growling from his (maybe?) girlfriend Haley. I liked it until "the false" made a (superflous) appearance. He gets extra points for stealing a kiss from J-Lo.

I love it when Steven makes the Fox censor work. Plus, Seacrest in the Casey beard is hi-frickin'-larious.

Following Casey is Weak Link who apparently likes girls. I wouldn't have guessed that. Why is he still around? I guess because he's cute, and tweenage girls like that. Now if we can only get him to keep his eyes open for a whole performance. He gets Haley's hawt blonde backup singers. Has Steven hit on them yet? I like that he ventured out of the AFE mold and got away from the power ballad. He does a lot of yelling and groaning, but it as a good change of pace for him.

Tonight's Pimp Spot singer is Lauren, who would probably be voting for Stefano if she hadn't made it to Hollywood. I want the girl from Rock Mafia to be my producer. Like Scotty, she stays country, which is a good thing for her. Haley's backup singers are earning their keep this week. I didn't think her performance was worthy of the placement, but she did a good job. She's got a big voice, but the song got away from her a couple of times.

I just saw that Jimmie Johnson is guess starring on Breaking In tonight. Mrs. High Lord likes it, which means we're counting the days until it gets canceled.

The Good

The Bad
Haley, "Rolling in the Deep"
Lauren, "Born to Fly"
Casey, "Harder to Breathe"
James, "Uprising"
Stefano, "Closer"
Scotty, "Swinging"

The Ugly
Jacob, "Dance With My Father" (see Rule 1A to the right)

Who should be in the bottom 3: Jacob, Scotty, Stefano
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Jacob, Stefano

Who should go home: Stefano
Who will go home: Stefano

Now that we're down to seven, and the field is generally strong, I think the person who will finally get kicked off will be Stefano because he should have gone home a couple of weeks ago. Haley may also be in danger because she doesn't have a Y chromosome and went early in the order. Casey, James and Scotty are shoo-ins right now, while Lauren got to sing last.

I'm going to go make level 47 on my RK now.

High Lord. Amazeling. Out.

I don't have much time tonight

2011-04-14T20:27:00.002-04:00

because I'm setting up Mrs. High Lord's new iPad 2. I bought her an iPad last October when her other tablet/eReader crapped out, but it often gets co-opted when the grandkids come over. So we got a new iPad for Mrs. High Lord which can also FaceTime with everyone else in our family who seems to have joined the world of Mac.

I stick with PCs because I like to play computer games that often aren't setup for Macs. So that's what I'm doing as the show goes on.

After a bunch of filler, we get to the halfway point in the show and Kelly Clarkson is on singing with some guy in a cowboy hat. I'm always happy to see the Idols come home. I also like that instead of the one craptacular group sing, they're breaking them up into duets and smaller groups to perform on the results nights.

The bottom three is Haley, Paul and Stefano. Haley is saved first and Paul is then eliminated. Which means Stefano has inexplicably lived to sing another week. Why, "America", why?

I'm no Paul fan, but Stefano? Really? He doesn't even have a tracheotomy scar to show us every week as he goes AFE on us!

Maybe if he had asked us how we were doing yesterday, he's still be there and one of the other guys would have been eliminated.

So next we'll find out who they're going to George. My money is on Scotty.

Until then, I'm going to try and get my RK through the Walls of Moria and then on to Carn Dum.

High Lord. Wing-breaker. Out.

Idol has many problems . . .

2011-04-13T19:53:00.007-04:00

not the least of which has been the tendency of "America" to vote off the girls first. I'm not crying over Pia's ouster, but it seems to me that the basic way that the singers are advanced from one round to the next needs to be changed on the most fundamental level.

The way things are, singers who are given lots of face time in the audition and Hollywood rounds build up large followings early on and they are carried on, even at the expense of better singers. If Idol wants to change this, and really be a show that's about the best singer, not the most popular, there are three basic options:

Vote people off
I've been wanting this one for years. Most of "America" recognises who is clearly the worst of a bunch. By voting off the person who is the worst singer, blocs of voters won't be able to keep their person around for weeks on end.
The judges pick the bottom 3, "America" votes to save two
Shouldn't the judges have some influence over the show? Of course they should. To be fair, they pick the people who go to Hollywood and they pick the top 24. So why shouldn't they have some influence over the weekly results?

SYTYCD does something similar, and it works. The judges know who the best and the worst are. Steven and J-Lo obviously don't want to be the bad guys and Randy just doesn't have it in him. So let them nominate a bottom 3 and the voters get to save their favourite. When there are six singers left, everyone is voted through on their own merits.
Have the judges score the singers
Having paddles would be a little too much like DWTS, but what if they gave the order (best to worst) of the night and that counted as half of the singers's scores?

As you can see, I want the judges to actually judge. Simon was the best at this, even without a direct influence over the results; everyone knew exactly where they stood and the voters often took their cues from him. That is sorely lacking this year, and is partially why there have been surprising eliminations this season. Clearly, something needs to be done because as things stand right now, the chances of anyone wresting control of the show away from 12 year old girls with unlimited text messaging plans are pretty low.

On to the show . . .

The theme tonight is songs from the movie, and I miss Quentin Tarantino.

First up is Paul and his outfit is hideous. His vocals don't suit the song at all. His voice isn't deep or big enough do cover Bob Seger. The whole performance seems cheezy. The sax player is pretty hawt, though. Going in the Dead Man's spot certainly won't help him.

At least Pia gets to go on tour.

Next up is Lauren. My friend Jodi has a pavlovian response to this song that makes her want to punch someone in the face when she hears it. Jimmy gives her some good advice about scooping up Pia's voters, who are now looking for a fanbase to support. She starts out singing to the camera, not the audience, which is a good move for someone who is now pandering for fan votes. This is actually the perfect song for Lauren. It's a little country, and very contemporary, which is something that is generally missing from the show during the theme weeks. She has a couple of out of tune notes, but I think this both a good strategic move, as well as a solid vocal performance.

What the crap is will.i.am still doing on the show?

Stefano knows he's on borrowed time. He clearly should have been eliminated last week and everyone knows it. He's singing Boyz II Men, and part of what so great about this song is the Boyz's harmonies, which he cannot hope to match. His eyes are like Archuleta's and that is just one more thing to annoy me. I liked him better than Paul, but based on the sum of his performances this year, he needs to get sent packing.

Can someone please send R-Dawg a memo that the phrase "in it to win it" now requires people in my house to chug?

Predictably, Scotty 1) can't keep his head up straight, and 2) sings a country song. His voice reminds me a lot of George Strait, which I'm sure is intentional. I know that some people are tired of his schtick, but if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Especially when it gets a gazillion votes from both 13 year old girls and their mothers.

Last week, Casey whipped out the stand-up bass and goes for it again. Jimmy tells him to go a different direction, but Casey does his own thing. Was this really from a movie? Or was it just in a movie? (The answer is Moulin Rouge, but he would have been better served by dressing up and trying "Lady Marmalade") Simon would have called this selection "indulgent". I think he's making a strategic decision to try something other than a mainstream pop hit. It could backfire on him, but it could also pay off big. I hope Casey is as self-aware as Chris Sligh and realises what it takes to play the game.

Even though I detest Haley, Mrs. High Lord likes her. She starts out flat. She's 20, so my friend Mike isn't feeling dirty by looking at her, although his son is starting to get "that funny feeling" when she's on. Haley is very shouty, even for an IBG. I don't hate it, but I don't love it either. She may be sandbagging at this point; I think she's got enough voters to stick around for a few more weeks on her own, and she may not want to peak too early. I think she needed to do a little more to pick up some of Pia's voters, though.

Next up is the guy with GDM (that's Gay Dance Moves), Jacob. He's singing Clay's song. Luckily, it's been 9 years since Clay destroyed the rest of the competition with this tune, but unfortunately, he's can't find the right key and it goes all over the place. I think this is the first time I can remember Jacob not delivering a rock-solid vocal. It wasn't corny like Paul, but he just seemed off for the entire performance, which is a shame, since he did so well last week.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is T/AG. Like Casey, he goes his own way and ignores Jimmy's advice. I really hope he crashes and burns. I'll bet he screeches at the beginning, in the middle and again at the end. If I were picking a song from "Heavy Metal", it would have been "Open Arms". To use some political parlance, this plays to his base very well. Even if the vocals are a hot mess in spots. I didn't like that so much of the time was spent on a guitar solo that wasn't being played by the singer, and the frenetic camera action triggered one of Mrs. High Lord's seizures. I wonder what Jimmy had suggested for him. The fact that he got to sing last bodes well, even if the performance wasn't as good as the crowd and judges would have you believe.

The Good
Lauren, "The Climb"
Scotty, "I Cross My Heart"

The Bad
James, "Heavy Metal"
Stefano, "The End of the Road"
Haley, "Call Me"
Casey, "Nature Boy"
Jacob, "Bridge Over Troubled Water"

The Ugly
Paul, "Old Time Rock N'Roll"

As things stand, the remaining singers are solid singers, even though none of them are a head and shoulders better than anyone else.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Casey, Jacob, Paul
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Paul, Stefano

Who should go home: Paul
Who will go home: Stefano

I would fear for the remaining girls, but I think Pia's voters will consolidate behind one of them (probably Lauren) and carry her on for a few more weeks. I was surprised at how good Lauren was tonight, and Scotty turned in another solid performance.

I'd look for Stefano to finally run out of steam tomorrow, but I could be wrong.

Now, it's time for that new Christian Slater show that Mrs. High Lord likes. Of course, that usually means that Fox will move it to Friday night and cancel it.

High Lord. Defender of the Ashen Wastes. Out.

I'll have a plate of eye-boinks with a side of cheez

2011-04-07T20:24:00.004-04:00

Damn, I had forgotten how much I despised FRC. That's Faux-Rocker Constantine for those of you who have tried (like me) to repress all memory of His Velveetaness. My ears actually started to bleed when he was singing.

In other (better) news, Stefano is in the bottom 3, and my level 7 hobbit burglar won a bunch of crap in the LOTRO Welcome Wagon Lotto. Have I mentioned that all of my toons have the fishslap emote now?

Fastforward to about the 0:40 mark.

Casey and Lauren are safe. Duh.

Next to get their results are Paul, Pia and Scotty. I can't see any of these three being in the bottom 3, but if I had to pick one, I'd pick Pia. Scotty has too big a fan bloc and Paul got to sing last. That leaves her as the one who will be taking a trip to the stools . . . along with her hooker boots and the excessive boobage she's sporting tonight. If Mrs. High Lord were to trade me in for a younger model, I would sooooooooooo motorboat her.

And yes, Pia gets sent to the bottom 3. That leaves Haley, Jacob and James as the three possibles for the third stool in the bottom 3. I'm betting it's Jacob.

Haley, as much as I desire her to be eliminated, has been coming on strong lately. James got lots of face time and Jacob was in the dreaded lead-off spot last night, which is never good.

And I'm right again.

Of the three in the bottom 3, I think Stefano is the most likely candidate to get whacked. He's consistently been one of the weaker links this season. He's not awful, but nor is he memorable (ballads will do that). He's patently unoffensive, but nor does he make people want to pick up the phone or send a gazillion texts for him. Plus, he hasn't gotten as much face time as some of the others.

Pia stepped it up a little, but was falling into the same AFE trap. Jacob simply had the misfortune of leading off the show this week. I don't think he's going to win, but he was better than just about everyone else last night and that still gets him into the bottom 3. He also need some new (read: less gay) dance moves.

While we wait for the final results, let me ask this: WTF is Iggy Pop doing on Idol? Does he need the money that badly? I liked him when he was on DS9, but Idol?

My head is still spinning. Now if we can just eliminate Stefano . . .

If Pia and the twins get kicked off tonight, I'm going to be hacked off beyond belief. Jacob is the first to get the news and Seacrest leads him on before telling him that he's safe. Without a lot of fake drama, Seacrest tells us that Pia is leaving.

Randy reacts negatively; I can't tell which he's going to miss more: her singing or the catsuit.

I think he would like to use the save now, but they already burned it on Casey. Dammit, this means that we have to suffer through another week of Stefano. I guess I picked the wrong week to quit drinking . . .

She reminds Mrs. High Lord of Jackie on That 70's Show. I think she spent too much time singing ballads and didn't grab a fanbase early enough. It also highlights the power of the tweenie girl vote; 5 of the last six singers to be eliminated were girls (the sixth being Casey, who was saved). I read that both Namia and Thia think that the girl voters are voting in droves for the boys on a subconscious vendetta.

To back up that point, the last four winners have been guys and seven of the last 8 finalists have been guys, with Crystal being the only girl to make it to the top 2 since Jordin won in season 6.

I didn't think Pia was going to win, but she deserved to outlast Stefano, Haley, James and probably Paul. I guess this is what happens when the voting is left up to "America".

Are there any indications about next week's theme?

High Lord. Shire Brewmaster. Out.

Okay, so we're down to 9

2011-04-06T19:50:00.006-04:00

. . . and at least the show has been cut back to an hour and a half. Just in time for a new Christian Slater show to debut afterwards. Speaking of Christian Slater, I saw Heathers the other day on TV. It was just as good today as it was twenty three years ago when he, Winona Ryder, Shannen Doherty and Lieutenant Bud Roberts were all young and stuff. The only thing bad about the movie is the hairdoos.

Let's just hope they keep the show moving tonight.

Tonight's theme (blech!) is the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Outfitting them is former only-here-for-the-paycheck "mentor" Gwen Stefani and helping out with the singers is will.i.am, who must have lost his ticket home from when he was on a couple of weeks ago.

Leading off is Jacob. He switched his song and is singing some Michael Jackson. I think this is a good move; this song fits his voice perfectly. Going first might cause some problems, especially since I don't think there are a lot of people burning up phone lines and texting for an effeminate black man who can belt out showtunes with the best of them. Still, I think his vocals were spot on; he has a lot of control and doesn't lose the melody like some of the others who are still around (Haley, I'm talking to you!).

This is a much better theme than Elton John or Motown. It gives the singers a deep songbook to pick from (assuming Idol gave them free range to choose). Unfortunately, it also means that many of the songs will be pretty old.

Next up is Haley and she's singing a song that should be retired from the Idol songbook. Apparently she thinks the judges want her to be more like Janis Joplin, which is a mistake since that's like telling a guitarist that they should be more like Eric Clapton, and anyone who tries will only be a pale imitation. I think she should be more like Lindsey Cardinale (watching from home). The judges slurp her. It wasn't as awful as I thought it was going to be, but it wasn't as good as the crowd thought. Plus, she still annoys me. Even with frizzy hair.

Wrapping up the first third of the show is Casey who also changed his song midstream. He goes old school and brings out his stand-up bass. I like it, and I don't usually thing he's all that and a side of chips. He's smiling too much for what is supposed to be a fairly maudlin song, and he gets a little shouty at the end.

Lauren could be making a huge mistake by singing Aretha (who is loosely associated with rule #1 to the right). She's sixteen, right? Why is she dressed like she's 23? My friend Mike is feeling dirty right now. It wasn't awful, and she's good a pretty good voice; I liked her a lot more than I liked Haley tonight.

Instead of getting the random sit down interview, T/AG gets preempted by some random banter between Seacrest and the judges. He's singing the Beatles and whips out a ballad no one has heard of. He'll be safe because 19E/Fremantle handed him a gazillion votes in the audition rounds. I like that he's doing something other than running around the stage and screaming . . . at least until the end, when he goes Adam Lambert on us. That knocks him down a peg for me since 1) it's already been done, and 2) I didn't like it the first time around.

Simon says the show is better now that he's gone. Of course it is: Simon has been phoning it in for the last three or four years.

Scotty is doing Elvis. Again. will.i.am wants him to combine country and rock. I'll bet he makes it country. And he does. The thing that I like about Scotty is that he knows what he does best and doesn't try to do anything that could make him look bad. I think he'll top out at about fourth place because I don't think he's going to pick up new voters as the others get eliminated, but he is the most consistently good performer on the show this season. Tonight felt more like country-bluegrass than country-rock, but it was still very, very good.

For those of you who thought that you were going to get through a post without a LOTRO update, sorry to disappoint you. I really like the new LI system where you can build the "perfect" LI if you're willing to grind item XP. I've got my RK up to level 41, but my guardian is parked at level 33 for now. Almost all of my toons have earned the title "Pie-Eating Champion" and have the fishslap emote. Plus, I started a hobbit burglar named Stealtharella. I'm only level 7, but until Star Wars: The Old Republic drops, it looks like I'll have lots of free (MMO) time.

Kicking off the third half of the show is Pia who changes things up with a little bit of Tina Turner. Oh, what I would give for a "wardrobe malfunction" tonight . . . I like the change of pace, and she even gets to belt out big notes without a ballad's "money note". She's a little shouty, but some of that's the song. Note to Pia: Don't go back to ballads. Her performance consists of her walking around, and not really moving in a way that is indicative of confident stage presence.

An ad for "Rio" just came one. Why can't I get away from that damn movie? First it invades Angry Birds, now it's all over Idol. Crap.

Mrs. High Lord can't stand Stefano and wants him to go away as much as I want Haley to get the boot. Like Pia, he's gone AFE on us so far this year, only he stays the course. Like The Arch, he also needs to open his eyes. He tries a lot of vocal tricks; some of them work, some don't. I just don't see him as "the" American Idol. Frankly, I'm surprised he's made it this far. I guess the show really is driven by teenage girls, because I don't know who else would be voting for him. Yawn. He wasn't awful, but for me, he was the worst of the night, so far. I forsee the bottom three for him. The judges slurp him, too.

Randy tries his best to be critical, but just can't do it. If the show needs one thing, it's a person on the panel who isn't worried about their own career post-Idol and is willing to give out some really tough love to the people who deserve it.

Paul was facing elimination last week, and he could have been in danger again this week, but he got the Pimp Spot and that will advance him to next week. Mrs. High Lord says he sounds like a young Rod Stewart. There is something about his voice that grates on me, but I think that like Scotty, he sticks to what he does best, even if it's not going to get him more votes as the weeks drag on. A close call last week combined with prime placement will mean that he's safe. I didn't love it, and he seemed a little too happy for a prison song.

The Good
Jacob, "Man in the Mirror"

The Bad
Pia, "River Deep, Mountain High"
Scotty, "That's All Right, Mama"
Casey, "Have You Ever Seen the Rain"
Lauren, "Natural Woman"
Paul, "Folsom County Blues"
Haley, "A Little Piece of My Heart"
James, "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
Stefano, "When A Man Loves a Woman"

The Ugly

Who should be in the bottom 3: Haley, James, Stefano
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Jacob, Stefano

Who should be eliminated: Stefano
Who will be eliminated: Stefano

One thing I like about this season is that there isn't a lot of dead weight. Haley and Stefano are taking up space, but any of the others could win. I don't think that there is a clear-cut favourite to win at this point, but the talent pool is deep, and that's good. There's also not that one person who is going to inexplicably win (Taylor), nor is there someone who is going to come out of no where to win (Kris), and there isn't a person people will regret voting for (Lee).

Tomorrow night, we'll get our results. On Saturday, I'll know if I'm getting an involuntary "vacation" thanks to the Tea Party extremists who refuse to recognise that America was built on compromise and will shut down the government on (flawed) principle.

High Lord. Tamer of the Shrews. Out.

Home improvement and then some

2011-03-31T20:03:00.003-04:00

With 2 people to eliminate tonight, of course the show has to be an hour long. Back in the early days of the Wild Card rounds, they used to eliminate two people in half an hour. Why can't we go back to the good 'ole days?

In other news, Mrs. High Lord got a new sink. And then some. It started out with a visit to our neighbour's house. It seems that Carol got a new faucet with a Touch2O sensor on it so you don't need a handle or lever to turn it on.

That was all the talked about for weeks, so after I got back from Baltimore, I took her up to Lowe's and bought her one. When we went to install it, the bolts holding the old faucet in wouldn't budge, so we decided to take the old sink out and simply replace it. After all, I think it was original to the house, which would make it about 50 years old.

So I trucked back up to Lowe's and bought a new cast iron/porcelain sink to replace the old one. The only problem is that when we went to take the old supply lines off the piping under the countertops, they basically disintegrated. I consider myself a pretty handy guy, but there are three things I really don't like to work with: plumbing, gas and electricity. The first because there are so many things that can go wrong and the other two because you can die.

After watching my old fitting fall apart, I decided I was in over my head, so I went back up to Lowe's and got the installation deal. That was on Sunday. Today the guys came to install Mrs. High Lord's new sink and it's very nice. And cool. We've just been without running water in the kitchen since Sunday. I hope we never have to change out the sink again. Especially since the new cast iron sink weighs about 110 pounds.

In the midst of all the filler, we're actually getting some singing and some results. Scotty and Lauren are up first and they sing some Randy Travis, which is actually pretty good. Of course they're both safe.

After some obligatory product placement, Jacob and Naima take the stage singing Ashford & Simpson. Jacob is safe and Naima is in the bottom 3.

Okay, I can deal with an hour long results show if they replace the single crappy group sing with the Idols performing duets. Wait . . . wasn't this my idea, only to have them singing duets for votes? (The answer is "yes" by the way) I'll take an hour long results show if it features past Idols, even if I don't like them.

Fantasia is up next and I mute the TV. Diana or LaToya should have won!!!!!

I wonder if our old friend Jennifer is doing. She broke up with the show last year, but stopped by to leave a couple of comments, but I haven't heard from her this year. I certainly understand if she's moved on, but I miss her insight and commentary.

They must be running over time because Haley, Pia and Thia take the stage to sing Katy Perry as a trio. Note to Thia: Dresses that look they were made from stolen curtains are NEVER in fashion. Dresses that show off your boobs like Katy Perry wears are ALWAYS in style.

They get their results and only one of the three is going to be in the bottom 3 (because there are more people awaiting their results and that would be anti-climatic to send two of these three to the bottom 3). I'll bet it's Thia, since Pia has been pretty good and Haley got to go last yesterday . . . and I'm right.

Last night was a rough night for me. Usually I think there are only one or two performances that are awful, but there were a bunch I didn't like last night. I think part of the problem is that Elton John is a hard theme that doesn't translate well to other styles, in part because many of the songs that were picked are iconic and well-known, much like Queen songs. I also think that there are some singers this year whom I really dislike and that definitely colours my view of their performances. I try to be objective, but sometimes I just can't do it. This is my blog. So sue me.

The last four guys take the stage to sing "Band on the Run". Of the four, I think Stefano will be sent to the bottom 3 . . . and I'm wrong. It's Paul. Hmmmm . . . . things just got interesting.

So that leaves Naima, Thia and Paul who are up for elimination. I think it's going to be Naima and Thia. Seacrest only makes us sit through a little bit of contrived drama; maybe it was good that Jaime Foxx and will.i.am were on to make the show run long.

And Paul is safe.

Naima's problem is that she is a little too quirky for the mainstream voters to rally to her. Thia's problem is that she never really developed a style (good or bad) and that she had an image problem coming out of the Hollywood rounds.

I'm sorry to see Naima get kicked off, but she wasn't going to win. I wish it had been Haley in her place. I am happy to see Thia get the boot.

So that makes me 1 of 2 from last night. And now the prospect of the save won't rear it's ugly head for the next four weeks.

I wonder what the theme will be for next Wednesday.

High Lord. Easily Lost. Out.

Would you have saved Casey?

2011-03-30T19:58:00.006-04:00

That's the question I've been pondering for the last week. Was he worth it? Does he have a legit chance to win?

Remember that other singers have been in danger or eliminated because of supporter apathy and not on the merits of their own singing. Was that the case with Casey? Or does he really lack in support?

The judges obviously like him. He's gotten a gazillion hours of face time. He started out the show with TCO written all over him. But if no one voting for him, why would they use the save to keep him. They didn't even have him sing the whole song.

But will this buy him a shot at the win? Or just a few more weeks? I think it's safe to say that his legion of powervoters will turn out in droves for the next couple of weeks, but can he snap up the blocs of the two people who get kicked off tomorrow night?

I guess we'll find out, but a part of me hates that Nigel kept the save. Shouldn't the most popular singers be kept around from week to week? Isn't that the point of the show? How would the save have affected past seasons? Would they have kept Jennifer Hudson around? Chris Daughtery was ineligible to be saved since he was voted off in the 4 spot. Who else should have been saved?

As the show starts, we find out that Elton John/Bernie Taupin is this week's theme, although he's not the mentor. I guess calling the voters "racist" after Jennifer Hudson was inexplicably eliminated back in season three in lieu of John Stevens or George Huff was a one way ticket out of town.

Singing in the Dead Man's Spot is Scotty who will somehow manage to countryfy en Elton John song. And sure enough he does. He sounds like George Strait and I think it's good that he's on Idol rather than Nashville Star, because he's going to reach a wider audience before he's unleashed on Music Row. I don't think he's ever going to outsell Carrie, but he should do very, very well, even if he doesn't win. Vocally, he's more of the same, but as Jimmy said, "He may be a one trick pony, but it's the best trick a 17 year old has done". Even going first won't hurt him this week. Simon would have hated him (because Simon despises country music), but Scotty is probably the most consistent performer of the season.

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Next up is Naima, who I find terribly entertaining. I hope she outlasts Lauren and Haley, because those two annoy me. She goes reggae. I hope does some more African dancing. I could do without the poor impersonation of a Caribbean accent. Like Scotty, she is vocally consistent with past performances, but that only means she is below the median line in the field this year. I liked her take on the song, but it was a vocal mess. As someone who has faced elimination more than once, I'm not sure this was a good move for her. Going in the two-spot won't help her, either.

Why can't Jennifer stop talking once her time is up?

Paul needs to shave and has more product in his hair than the cheerleaders from my old high school. I guess there's a contest to wear the wackiest outfit this week. Or there's a contest to wear something that could be mistaken for my grandmother's couch. I don't care for the airy/nasal tone of Paul's voice, or his spastic dance moves, but surprisingly, this almost works for me. I just cringe at the thought of him winning and being "the" American Idol.

After a string of ballads, Pia brings us another ballad. I hate that she's going all AFE on us. Unless she goes big, she's just going to hear another round of "No more ballads!!!" Maybe Sir Elton himself will appear on stage halfway through and rescue her. Yes, she has a big voice. But she is beginning to sound the same week after week. And, I'm asleep. This is how it's done.

Will someone please give J-Lo some money, so she can buy the other half of that dress?

As someone who should have been kicked off last week, Stefano is singing the Tony Danza song. His eyes and demeanor remind me of Lee Dewyze (and that's not good). He seems nervous. I didn't care for the arrangement and his pacing around the stage just made him look amateurish.

Another OTP is up next. I don't think Lauren should have been advanced ahead of some of the other singers who didn't make it out of Hollywood. Her glamour shots make her look 16 going on 24, and that should make every man out there feel dirty. I don't think I would take on this song if I were Celine Dion. Lauren oversings in all the predictable places; was she even born when this song was first released? I didn't hate it as much as I expected I would. Her vocals were good, and her voice didn't annoy me as much as other people tonight. Here's how it's done.

T/AG annoys me personally. His singing is also in the bottom half of the vocal talent spectrum this season. I think he's trading on his sob story from the auditions and the bajillion votes 19E handed to him when they sent the cameras home to shoot footage of his kid. To his credit, it's not a ballad. He's manic on stage, which is what this song demands. It's much better than John Stevens's "Crocodile Rock". It still came off as cheezy. And I think he dropped a line at the begining. The scream at the end did it for me. I hope "America" sends him home tomorrow.

The judges also slurp him. If they need to do one thing this year, it's get mean when people deserve it. Some lawyer at Pepsi is drafting a lawsuit right now.

Mrs. High Lord's fave is Thia; this is one of the few instances where the two of us have diametrically-opposed views on a singer. This starts out flat in a bunch of places. I think Randy is going to unleash "pitchy" on us in his critique. I think it's her weakest performance of the season. Both in terms of tone and tempo, it seemed to be all over the place. The judges liked it, but I didn't.

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The recipient of last week's save is on stage next. Casey is also going the AFE route. You know, Elton had other songs than ballads. I think getting voted off last week has kind of made him gunshy. This seemed very safe, which is unlike him. I think this is the first week when I actively didn't like him.

I don't know what it is this week. Maybe Elton is a little to stylized for this crew. Maybe they need to start singing contemporary songs, not songs from the 70s. There have been lots of singers tonight that I haven't cared for.

Last week, Jacob was easily the best of the night. Did he wet himself when Mary J. showed up in the studio? It's not as good as last week, but he unleashes his pipes and this time, it comes off as being a little over the top. The oversinging and power note at the end made me not like him this week.

This means that Haley gets Pimped this week. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! If there is a singer I detest this season more than anyone else, it's Haley. She's faced elimination almost every week, so we can only hope that trend continues. I know there are people out there who lurve her, but I just don't get it. I think this is a performance that people will either really like or really hate. I fall into the latter category. She seemed more over the top than James usually is, but then again, Elton was always flamboyant that way, too. The Pimp Spot will work to her advantage this week.

Why did no one pick "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" or "Circle of Life"? I guess he'll have to sing them tomorrow when he's on. There were lots of very safe selections this week.

The Good
Scotty, "Country Comfort"

The Bad
Pia, "Don't Let the Sun Go Down On Me"
Lauren, "Candle In the Wind"
Paul, "Rocket Man"
Naima, "I'm Still Standing"
Jacob, "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word"

The Ugly
Casey, "Your Song"
James, "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting"
Stefano, "Tiny Dancer"
Haley, "Benny and the Jets"
Thia, "Daniel"

Who should be in the bottom 3: Haley, Stefano, Thia
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Naima, Stefano

Since the save was used last week, it means tomorrow night is a two-fer.

Who should go home: Thia and Haley
Who will go home: Naima and Stefano

I just don't think Naima has enough followers to hang on for very much longer. She didn't get as much face time as others who are still around, and her quirkyness works against her as much as it works for her. Stefano will also be on the the chopping block, but I think his fans may powervote after last week now that they know he can't be saved. If that's the case, I think Naima and Haley will get the axe.

High Lord. Lórien Lookout. Out.

We need more Hulkmania on Idol

2011-03-24T20:50:00.002-04:00

I'm not live-blogging the show tonight because I'm boycotting the hour long results shows that should only be 30 minutes . . . especially when they start running over time.

But I will say that we need more people on Idol punching Seacrest in the face like the Hulkster did tonight.

We also need Thia, Stefano and Haley in the bottom 3 more often. Or, at least until they're all gone.

Unfortunately, the bottom 3 is Thia, Stefano and Casey? WTF? What were you thinking, "America"? Why is Haley still around to plague us?

Oh, well . . . I guess this just goes to show you that the Dead Man's Spot can even strike on of Idol's golden children.

J-Hud takes the stage. I never realised how much taller than Seacrest she was. And, look! There's George Huff, sans the (formerly) omnipresent hat.

After just a little bit of drama (because they're starting to run late), Thia gets sent to safety meaning either Casey or Stefano is getting whacked. My guess is that Stefano will be the one missing the tour.

And . . . NO! Casey will be singing for the save. I'll bet they give it to him. Sure enough they do. Without even making him sing the whole song. But he makes the censor with the 10 second delay work overtime.

Note to everyone going on Idol next week and in the future: Don't go first.

That means that they can't save anyone else, and that Casey probably won't be leading off any more.

So with no one eliminated this week, that means two of them will be kicked off next off week.

Let's hope it's Thia and Haley.

High Lord. Spring-Flinger. Out.

It's Motown night

2011-03-23T20:11:00.004-04:00

Okay, who let the themes back in?

I thought we were done with the themes. We've done okay this year, but last week's songs were mostly 15-30 years old. Now we're going back to a era when most of the singers will be half as old as the songs they're singing.

Maybe 19E figures that since they've already paid a gazillion bucks for the rights to these songs, they may as well get their money's worth.

While we're wading through the filler, let me say that I've been a bad blogger this week because I forgot that the new season of DTWS started on Monday. Luckily, Mrs. High Lord caught it in the DVR and I watched it yesterday when I got home. It's surprising that the Karate Kid (and his combover) was the best of the night. I think he's getting hair advice from The Donald.

Drawing the Dead Man's Spot is fan-fave Casey singing the raisin song. He's been rather screechy in the past and vows in his intro piece to keep it under control. I'm just happy the Idol makeover people managed to attach him with a beard trimmer in his sleep. I give him a big aiiiiiight for this performance, but I think even going first won't endanger him. What's up with the string section on the judges's podium?

Mrs. High Lord likes Thia, even though I can't stand her. Mrs. High Lord likes that she's singing something up-tempo, which is always a plus. In parts the song is bigger than her voice, but she exceeds my expectations. She flubs the lyrics in a couple of places and that's always a bad sign. See rule #1A to the right. Vocally it was pretty good.

Jimmy says Jacob is the guy who the most natural fit for Motown. But it's not just because he's black. I think. Did they get new backup singers? Jacob does a good job in avoiding the oversing. He does a bad job in not coming off as really gay. But he has J-Lo dancing in her chair, which is a good sign. I like it a lot, even if he does all of the runs and stuff that I hate.

Lauren is up next and she's the person who is probably the least prepared for Motown week. She is one of the enigmas to me on the show this year. I don't know who her target audience is. I know she's this year's wide-eyed girl from a small country town, but beyond that, she's just another IBG. I associate this song with Kim Wilde. This is the first time I think she's done really well. In fact, it's almost as good as Jacob. I think she's benefiting from some early poor performances early, so now she appears to be improving, and voters like that.

Next up is Stefano and he's singing some Lionel Ritchie. I forsee a trainwreck. Plus, I hate this song. He puts me to sleep halfway through. He does oversing. Blech. Vocally, he's not awful, but compared to some of the others who have gone tonight, he clearly lost a step.

Of all the singers remaining, Mrs. High Lord and both want Haley to go. Given that she's made the bottom 3 every week, I think "America" believes that, too. At least it's straight-hair week on Idol. I think she's trading on her looks and short shorts, like another Haley of years past (Scarnato, for those of you keeping score). Her vocals also aren't awful, but they're not great either. At least it's not another ballad.

Scott claims to not be familiar with Motown, and I'm sure he'll come up with a way to countryfy it. Sure enough, the sounds like George Strait covering Stevie Wonder. I like Scotty, and I like that I already know how everything he's going to sing is going to sound. While that may get him eliminated in about the six or seven spot, it will definitely get him a contract in Nashville, and probably a more successful career than Josh Gracin and Phil Stacey.

So far, we've had two really good performances and five that were somewhere between meh and okay.

Pia is up next and Mrs. High Lord likes her, too. That's a good sign since I like watching the TV when she's on it. She goes the slow ballad route, which is a change-up from most of the rest of the field. Like Stefano, she leads me down the road to sleep. There's too much vibrato in her voice, which usually means the singer is nervous. It wasn't my favourite performance of hers.

A couple of years ago, Adam Lambert knocked "Tracks of My Tears" out of the park, and now Paul is trying his hand at it. I like the twins he's going singing backup for him. Paul takes his own take to the song, which is good since he's Adam and he's certainly not Smokey. I don't hate it, but I don't think it's great either. Plus, he flubs the lyrics.

One of my favourite singers of this year is Naima. I know she's not the greatest singer, but she's quirky and not as "corporate" as some of the others are. I like that you never know what she's going to do once she starts. Plus, she's got a couple of bigass drums on the stage with her. Like some of the others, she's not the greatest vocalist in the bunch, but at least she's a lot of fun, unlike say, Thia and Stefano. This was easily her best performance of the season.

All of this indicates that T/AG gets the Pimp Spot. He's also singing some Stevie Wonder. He's also okay, but not deserving of the prime placement. He give a high energy performance, but looks tight through the shoulders. Plus, he has to throw in an Adam Lambert wannabe shriek or three. Naima should have stabbed him so she was the final performance of the night.

The Good
Jacob, "You're All I Need to Get By"
Naima, "Dancing in the Street"
Lauren, "You Keep Me Hanging On"

The Bad
Casey, "Heard It Through the Grapevine"
James, "Living for the City"
Thia, "Heat Wave"
Pia, "All In Love is Fair"
Paul, "Tracks of My Tears"
Scotty, "For Once in My Life"

The Ugly
Haley, "You've really Got a Hold On Me"
Stefano, "Hello"

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As far as Motown nights go, this was the best we've had for a long, long time. I just wish that "America" will finally eliminate Haley tomorrow.

Usual faves Casey and Thia could find themselves in danger due to their early placement in the singing order.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Haley, Scotty, Stefano
Who will be in the bottom 3: Haley, Lauren, Stefano

Who should be eliminated: Haley
Who will be eliminated: Haley

I don't think Haley will survive a third trip to the bottom 3. I think she'll be going home. And if she's not, I'm going to throw something at Mrs. High Lord's new TV.

High Lord. Forge Breaker. Out.

Results, results, results . . .

2011-03-17T20:18:00.004-04:00

I'm watching results, but not really paying attention since I'm protesting the hour long results shows. I only saw the last half of the show last night, but I really want Haley to be eliminated. Mrs. High Lord likes Thia. T/AG annoys me, too.

After last night, it's official: Pia is the hawtest finalist in the history of the show, just barely passing Kimberley Caldwell, who was followed very closely by Carrie and K-Mac. Here's someone else's list of the 10 hottest AI contestants so far.

I mute the group sing and Lee, whom I detest as the American Idol. I can't believe Crystal lost to him.

However, it makes me happy to know that Haley is in the bottom 3 so far tonight.

Scotty and Pia are both safe. I'm not sure how I feel about Scotty. I like him personally, but I just wonder if he's right for this show. Yes, he could be Carrie Underwood with a Y chromosome, but I think he needs to venture a little bit out of his comfort box, even if he stays in the country genre.

I like Naima, but she's in the bottom 3. Thia is safe, but she annoys me, too. Karen is in the bottom 3, which means our friend Beckeye picked it. Way to go, girl!

Then it's time for a random performer. The last time the BEP were on Idol, all I could do was stare at the crotch of Fergie's outfit. I wonder if tonight will be the same . . . she's in a skirt, so no. But her boobs are padded.

Why the eff aren't these shows 30 minutes long?

There's some fake drama as Naima is declared safe. It's interesting to see the body language among people facing elimination on this show. In years past, sometimes the singers hold each other for consolation or hold hands to show support for one another. This year, they're all standing separately.

Of course, it may be due to the fact that everyone detests Haley.

Karen is given the opportunity to save herself, but it doesn't go her way, and she leaves in tears. Damn, I wish the other person in the bottom 2 were going home.

High Lord. Supreme Master Weaponsmith. Out.

Sushi and more

2011-03-16T20:42:00.002-04:00

So tonight a bunch of us from work went out for dinner at Ra Sushi. I generally like this place, even though our service tonight was absolutely awful. Is it really that much of a burden to split up a check even after you assure us at the beginning of the night that we can get separate bills? And then take 20 minutes to get our money? Do you just want a $3 tip from everyone?

Anyway, Ra is what I consider to be "Vegas style" which is where the food is really trendy, there isn't a lot of traditional sushi on the menu, all of the staff is hawt twentysomethings and there is always loud music playing.

Long story short: I missed the first 41 minutes of Idol and arrived just in time to hear Haley sing way out of tune. So instead of blogging the rest of the show, I'm just going to watch the rest of the singers and then go to bed. I will be on for the results show tomorrow night.

High Lord. Slayer of the Watcher. Out.

First results

2011-03-10T20:35:00.002-05:00

Okay, let me start by saying how ticked off I am that Nigel reneged on his promise that the results shows would all be half an hour. So I spent the first half of the show at dinner and watching the Big Bang Theory.

I tuned in and found out that Karen is in the bottom 3 and Lauren is announced as safe. I don't know who else is safe. Plus, I really don't care. I'm only half paying attention as it is.

Ashton and Haley get called up. I really hope Haley is sent to the stools . . . and they're both in danger.

Yesssssss!!!!!!

Seacrest declares the rest safe, which is good news if you're name isn't Judd Harris.

I guess that means I tuned in at the right time.

There's some yapping and then Karen is declared safe and returned to the couches. Ashton is then put up for elimination, which means Haley is safe. Crap! Even her body language is arrogant.

Ashton sings and I'll be the judges don't use the save on her.

I think we're about five weeks away from this getting interesting. There are some good singers, but a lot of people in the middle and we're just waiting for the mid tier singers to be culled from the group.

Next week, I guess we're back to a dozen finalists.

High Lord. Enemy of Angmar. Out.

Okay, I'm finally watching the show at it's regularly scheduled time

2011-03-09T19:44:00.003-05:00

Of course, I'm on the road without a DVR and on the world's crappiest flat panel TV.

I'm still undecided about how I feel about the top 13. But I am happy that the opening round of voting was cut down to one week. I am not happy about the gender equity thing being perpetuated and the fact that face time is still an issue.

We're on for thirteen singers in two hours. They still need to cut back on the filler and inane banter and concentrate on the singing. But the sway pit is gone and that is also good.

I thought we were done with themes . . . but tonight the songs are songs by their personal idol. WTF? Just sing.

First up is Lauren and she's singing Shania Twain. Duh. This could be bad. Plus she's going first. I thought Idol loved her. I hate this song. She is very twangy. It's not awful, but it's not great either. Of course, right now the name of the game isn't to be the best, just don't be the slowest antelope in the herd. You know when you say you "had a good time", even you know you were bad.

Next up is Casey and he thinks "A Little Help From My Friends" is a Joe Cocker song. You're smarter than that, Casey. I think he's got enough votes in the bag that he can screech his way through this song. It's not as good as he can be; I think he's sandbagging. The judges slurp him, but I think he was just being lazy.

Ashton is going third, and she's pretty good. She's been the best vocalist so far tonight, but she's still flat in spots. Her look is definitely channeling later Diana Ross, and that's not necessarily good (too much eyeliner). I was meh on her tonight.

Does Ryan Adams qualify as an "idol"? Really? Paul apparently things so. Bryan Adams, yes. Who the eff is Ryan Adams? He reminds me of that guy who shows up at college parties with a guitar just to pick up chicks. What, did someone else already pick John Mayer? Maybe he's playing the game and angling for chick votes. The sway pit was made for him.

The super-hawt Pia gets the random sit-down interview. I don't to hear her talking. Either stand there looking pretty, jump up and down, or (as a last resort) actually sing. She's taking on Celine, which is usually a mistake since she's not actually Celine. Pia sounds shouty in parts, but vocally it's not as bad as I expected. Jennifer is struck speechless, but it wasn't that good.

T/AG is going to take on Paul McCartney and I hope he doesn't think that he has to do Adam Lambert's annoying screech every week. I am not fan, and I think he has gotten this far based on his face time and not actual talent. Unfortunately, I see him advancing well into the top 10, perhaps as high as number six or seven. I don't think he's going to pick up many new voters, but I think the ones he's got will probably carry him far. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but that doesn't mean it was good.

Eschewing a commercial break (shocker!), Haley is taking on Leann Rimes covering Patsy Cline. Steven is in love with her; oh, how I can't wait to be a dirty old man (right now, I'm just a perv when I pull that same crap). Like James, I don't think she's as good as everyone else thinks. I remember her from the auditions and Hollywood as being loud, out of tune and not as deserving of her spot as others. She's not only way too twangy, but Haley doesn't come close to Leann, and is miles short of Patsy. Plus I hate this song.

I'm undecided on Jacob. He likes child pornography fan R. Kelly. Apparently he also likes Space Jam more than being Trapped in a Closet. I think this is the first time I have heard him really sing and I am less than impressed. I also have a problem with all the stuff he's doing with the song instead of just singing it.

Another girl cruising by on her face time is Thia who should have been jettisoned in Hollywood. I wish someone would step on her. She's singing Michael Jackson. Her vocals aren't bad and considering some of her competition, she actually does pretty well. Tonight, that's not a compliment, by the way.

Is it just me or is everyone tonight playing it safe?

Stefano has an annoying nasal tone; not Chris Richardson annoying, but annoying nonetheless. He shouts a lot. He also seems nervous. And he (unwisely) goes for a power note at the end that runs all over the place. Fail.

In a bit of sucking up to J-Lo, Karen picks Selena as her idol. She starts out rough, with several off-pitch notes. She resists the urge to oversing, at least until the end. I'm happy that she doesn't try to do too much and instead just stands there and sings. Jennifer leads off with "You look so beautiful", which would be the kiss of death under Paula, and J-Lo chides her a little bit about her notes.

If I had my DVR, I would FF through all the judges's (useless) comments.

I don't know if they want to make him this year's Carrie Underwood, but Scotty is going to try anyhow. Somehow, he manages to countryfy "The River" more than Garth did. I think he's actually a pretty good country vocalist. Maybe, he should be on Nashville Star and not Idol. I think if they went hardcore with the theme nights, he'd be gone after disco night. It's a predictable song choice, but it should get him lots of votes. On a night when everyone else has been just okay, Scotty lands as the best of the night (so far). I think as long as he doesn't have to go too far out of his box, he'll be okay. Plus, he got depicted favourably coming out of Hollywood, and that means that he's banking a bajillion votes going into the Top 4.

Naima got a second chance through the Wild Card and she's singing Rhianna. I like her because she seems like she wants to have fun and not just sing a song to avoid elimination. Note to everyone else: happy songs are better than power ballads and easy tunes that don't challenge you. It was vocally unremarkable, but I'm glad she's still around in an otherwise pretty vanilla slate of singer. Her post-song unintelligible rambling is almost enjoyable.

The Good
Scotty, "The River"
Naima, "Umbrella"

The Bad
Pia, "All By Myself"
Thia, "Smile"
Ashton, "When You Tell Me That You Love Me"
Paul, "Come Pick Me Up"
Casey, "A Little Help From My Friends"
James, "Maybe I'm a Man"
Karen, "I Could Fall in Love"
Lauren, "Any Man of Mine"
Jacob, "I Believe I Can Fly"

The Ugly
Stefano, "Lately"
Haley, "Blue"

Overall, I thought the show tonight was kind of meh. There were a lot of safe song selections. A lot of power ballads. It seems like a lot of them were just trying to to be voted off, not trying to win.

Maybe some of the front runners are sandbagging. Maybe they don't want to seem to implode right out of the gate.

Tomorrow, we're eliminating someone. I thought Nigel promised us that all the results shows were going to be half an hour. What the eff? Liar!

I may only be watching the last 10 minutes tomorrow's show.

Anyway, I'll be back then.

High Lord. Hunter of Dark Beasts. Out.

Slacking once again

2011-03-03T20:19:00.002-05:00

Okay, I have to admit that I haven't watched Idol for the past two nights, so I what I know about the performance shows is only from what I've read. Tonight, the 24 singers are being cut down from 24 to 10 and then the judges will add an unspecified number of "wild cards" to the group for the finalists.

Of the 10 who will be advanced based on the choices of "America", there will be 5 guys and 5 girls. WTF? I thought we were done with the craptastic gender equity and were going with straight talent. I guess not.

I think it's a pretty safe bet that the "face time" singers will get advanced, some rightfully (Casey) and some not (Thia). That really only leaves about three spots up for grabs and everyone else will get CelenaRae'd. Of course, the nice thing is that the judges will actually get to exert some influence and not eliminate people from the opening voting round who probably deserved to stay.

After 27 minutes into the show, Scotty is safe. The dude with the ginormous nose and the drama queen with the suitcase fully of glasses uglier than Gokey's are not, but they might be brought back by the judges.

What the hell happened to the 30 minutes results shows we were promised by Nigel at the beginning of the year?

Lauren and the super-hawt Pia are also safe.

Damn, the red velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory rocks!!

The filler is about to put me to sleep.

Quick LOTRO story: I started a hobbit guardian because my kinship needs tanks to hold aggro. In LOTRO, if you can make it to certain levels without being killed, you get special titles. The level 20 title is the last one and it's "The Undying". I was 10,000 XP short and trying my darndest not to get killed, when I was gang-assaulted by 4 orcs. I killed all four, but one of them poisoned me and I died. I almost deleted that toon to start over, I was so ticked off. Anyway, I'm over it now . . .

Jacob and Casey are also safe; the other guy is getting recycled.

Thia gets passed through (duh!). Two other girls are sent back to sweat.

EDIT: At this point, my father called, so I had to quit watching the show. Usually, people know not to call me on Idol night, but his birthday was earlier in the week, and when I called him, he was talking to my brother, so I just left a message because his line was busy for a long time (and I know that at my father's age, he needs like 14 hours of sleep per night).

So I had to find out who made it today.

It should surprise no one that the usual high face-time singers were advanced by "America". Scotty, this year's screecher T/AG, this year's screamer (and not in the good way) Haley, and Casey are people who you would expect to have been advanced thanks to the gazillions of votes that were handed to them early on.

Drama queen Clint was left without a chair when the music stopped; he had a look of disbelief that should have surprised no one (least of all him) based on the way he treated crowd fave Jacee in the group rounds. Kenny G was also sent packing, which kind of surprised me, but he was probably headed for a Lindsay Cardinale or Melissa McGee exit anyway.

One thing to notice: everyone this year is thin and pretty, even the wild cards. There are no K-Lo's or Taylor Hicks's this year. Hopefully, there are also no Sanjayas, either, although I see Haley imploding in the face of a Whitney Houston song and Thia pulling a Leah Labelle-level meltdown on stage.

Oh, we can only hope.

Anyway, sorry for the late post, but I promise that I'll tune in next week for the singing.

. . . unless one of my parents calls again.

High Lord. The Valiant. Out.

What I aspire to in life

2011-03-01T10:01:00.002-05:00

As Charlie Sheen implodes (personally and professionally) before our very eyes, I'd like to take a moment to share with you what is my life's dream:

As for Sheen's reported hopes to buy a house and move in a bunch of porn stars, he said, "It was a temporary plan and it fell apart."

That is awesome.

I just stopped by to drop a quick note: today I'm going to be travelling on business and I will probably miss Idol, so there will be no live blog. Sorry, but my expense account calls.

Just a couple other tidbits:

I thought we were done with the gender equity thing.
It looks like they're cutting 12 people on Thursday.
Despite all the sympathetic face time, Jacee really didn't deserve to move on.
Daniel Larusso is going to be on Dancing With the Stars along with Lieutenant Saavik 1.0, Hines Ward, Master P's kid, and Hugh's other breat-implanted Girl Next Door. Was Ally Sheedy not available?
I hear there's a position coming open for miltiary dictator of an oil-rich north African nation opening up. I wonder if they could use a High Lord.
If Congress can't pass a budget (or at least another continuing resolution), I'm going to be stuck out of town with nothing to do but play LOTRO with no wife-aggro. I only hope they don't send us home.

That's it for me today. If I can, I'll blog the show tonight. If not, I'll catch ya'll tomorrow.

High Lord. Out.

It's all one big mirage

2011-02-23T19:40:00.002-05:00

Or is is The Mirage?

Either way, I'm retiring last year's limited glossary. Say goodbye to the handful of last year's singers who earned a silly moniker from me, and say hello to this year's crop. I'm sure I'll come up with more.

CBX - Crystal Bowersox, if her name were an airport code
GHA - Grandma Has Alzheimer's girl, Katie Stevens
TAG - Token Asian Guy John Park

We're in for 2 hours of filler and product placement tonight, so sit down and hold on. I'm told that this year, one of the changes is that they're minimising the fatalities caused by the craptacular theme weeks, but wouldn't you know it . . . this year, they're starting the post Hollywood rounds with a theme: The Beatles.

They're also continuing with the Idol institution of product placement by flying everyone to Vegas (cha-ching!), putting them up at The Mirage (cha-cha-ching!) and they're singing in the same stage that houses the Cirque du Soliel (cha-cha-cha-ching!) show, Love (cha-cha-cha-cha-ching!). I hope all the product placement dollars they're getting are being used to buy a nice deep catalog of songs the kids can choose from this year so we won't have to hear "Against All Odds", "Hallelujah", "Imagine", "I Will Always Love You" and "Band of Gold". Ever. Again.

Mrs. High Lord and I went to Vegas back in October and we had the opportunity to go see Love. Mrs. High Lord's friend is a big Beatles fan and she wanted to see the show. Instead we opted for O, which kicked some serious rear end. I recommend it for everyone.

What I don't recommend for everyone is 15 year olds singing on Idol. I think we've already seen more crying this year than usual, but on one level that's good because it means they're showing more people who actually want it (or at least think they want it) instead of the clowns who just want to be on TV.

They're back in groups, this time in duos or trios, and singing a Beatles song they picked out of a hat, which is almost like the Wheel of Death™ I proposed several years ago, only without the actual wheel, but the idea of being at the mercy of sheer random chance is oddly appealing to me. The only thing better would be Screw Your Buddy™ night.

We get a nice little montage of several groups crashing and burning, but nothing of the groups who did well. We did, however, see some footage of PCC and her boyfriend (Where's he staying? Is he stalking her? Maybe he's psycho, too . . . Do the other singers get conjugal visits?)

In the past, if you got whacked before the voting rounds, they were eligible to return in subsequent seasons. Does that still apply this year?

First up are T/AG and Stefano singing "Get Back". Aside from James's screeching, it's not bad. Fast, up-tempo songs are always good.

BFFs Pia and Karen are up next, and I think Pia's Maxim looks have already charmed Steven and Randy; they're already a nice refreshing big of female eye candy for me compared to all the guys that have been on the screen so far. Karen is also pretty good

Haley needs to go. Naima is okay, but what is "grounds cleanup" for occupation? Like Haley, Jacob needs to just sing the song and leave out all the runs and vibrato and other vocal crap.

So far the judges have gushed over everyone. They did this to us last week; opened with three strong performances and then a string of rejects.

Is Rachel going to a funeral? Why didn't her two sing-mates get any face time? Same thing for Lauren.

Each year, Nigel, Ken and the judges are contractually obligated to say, "This year's singers are the most talented group ever!!!!" Based on the first dozen or so singers to be shown tonight, I have to take that statement at face value this season. I just hope the field is deep and that the actual best singer wins, not the biggest sob story or the person who is left standing as the other singers's competing fanbases take each other out.

For me, the trio of Jerome, Lakeisha, and Tatynisa has the been the highlight show. I think they had the best chemistry, the most energy and the best performance. The judges give them some mixed criticism after softballing everyone else. WTF?

Kendra and a guy who needs to be introduced to Mr. Gillette (I forget his name because she's so hawt) are next they they get nicer reviews than the previous group. His name is Paul by the way.

"We're going to the place where Britney Spears got married, and she's my hero."

If I had a daughter and she ever uttered those words, I'd send her to a convent in the mountains of Nepal and string up her groom. Not that I'm wishing ill up on PCC's prospects of domestic tranquility, but the two components of that statement just seem to be tacking into the winds of prolonged happiness. Of course, Idol probably goaded her into getting hitched on screen and paid for the limo. I hope they also paid for the Honeymoon suite at the Mirage, too.

Teenagers Melinda and Thia are next, after we are reminded that their vocal coach verbally eviscerated them on national TV. The judges try to say nice things, but the bottom line is that they were not good. Jennifer (inexplicably) likes Thia.

Next up are PCC and Sophia and they're singing my favourite Beatles song. They "make it their own" and it just doesn't work for me. I think their voices are annoying, but at least they tried. The arrangement didn't do them any favours, but I'm not going to hammer them for trying something new.

Scotty, Lauren and a Denise also try something new with my second favourite Beatles song, and they have some interesting choreography. I'm happy to hear Scotty singing something other than his country voice. It wasn't awful, but it surely wasn't great. If you want to see how "Hello, Goodbye" should go, here it is:

There are some more singers who wrap up the singing portion of the show. I like that they're showing a wide swath of the singers and not just a few, as they've done in the past. While there is still a face time disparity, at least it's more than just Gokey, Archuleta and Adam Lambert.

The judges put the first group through, and then whack crazy Carson and OIG. At least she has another job to fall back on (not to mention a degree from Harvard). PCC also gets the axe along with a handful of others. Surprisingly, she accepts her elimination with no tears and takes it with grace and what is actually a reasonable amount of dignity.

The remainder get a bus ride back to LA for one more round of singing and then final judgment.

In other news, my captain is now at the level cap, giving me three level 65 LOTRO toons: a hunter, a minstrel and a captain. There's a new update coming sometime in March, so I'm hesitant to really start grinding for the Helegrod or Anuminas gear or finding the "perfect" legendary weapon/item because supposedly big changes are coming. I've also got a 31 rune-keep, 22 champion and 23 guardian, and I'm debating which one to work on next. Remember to hit me up on Elendilmir if you want to try the game out; I'm Vraeden or Vuvuzeyla and an officer in The Druadan.

Next we get to see some of the 40 remaining singers as they face the judges. Most everyone at this stage is reasonably good, which is in stark contrast to seasons past when it seemed that a lot of people were advanced at the request of the producers and not based on their vocal talents.

I hate this part because it seems so contrived and intentionally cruel, both to the singer and to the viewing audience. One thing I've noticed that the new judges seem genuinely invested in the singers, which is a sharp contrast to years past, when Simon was simply bored, Paula was just whacky and who knows what the hell was going on with Kara and Ellen. Jennifer in particular seems to have a hard time with the saying "No" and eliminations part, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

After this season, I hope that Jennifer and Steven both decide to stay with the show for a couple more years. Of course, I could still stand to see Randy depart and be replaced with someone like Harry Connick, Jr. or Barry Manilow.

I checked the schedule and it seems that tomorrow's 2 hour show will be devoted to the 24 people who will be singing for votes, so I'm not going to devote too much time to the last hour of tonight's show. Suffice to say that what I've seen this year makes me believe this season will be better than the last couple in terms of overall talent. I also like that many of the drama queens and sob stories have already fallen by the wayside so maybe this year truly will be about the singing, just as the first few seasons were (at least until the powervoting starts).

The big (and dramatic) shocker from tonight is Chris Medina (and his face time and brain-damaged girlfriend) getting the boot. I think he was a borderline singer who got through Hollywood based in part on sympathy, but from what I heard in Hollywood rounds, he just seemed to be a weaker singer than some of the others. Of course, they put Thia through, so not everyone who made it was necessarily good.

Tomorrow night will be the remainder of the eliminations spread out over two hours, so check back then.

High Lord. Protector of the Shire. Out.

The end of the beginning of the journey

2011-02-17T20:33:00.002-05:00

Here we are: the last day of the Hollywood rounds. Of the people who survived the group rounds, 60 will advance to take part in some Idol product placement, where they will go to the Mirage in Las Vegas to sing Beatles songs as that group is whittled down to 40. Those singers will, in turn, be culled to 20 semi-finalists whom "America" will advance to the final 10.

Here is where the singers get their first taste of how they will be judged if they make it to the voting rounds. Instead of singing acappella or in a group, they have the option of singing solo, with their own instrument or with the band.

First to be shown are three girls, all of whom are reasonably good.

Some leftover thoughts from last night:

Psycho Crying Chick needs to go. She has the same effect on me as a hobbit who asks me to deliver pie or mail: I want to slap someone upside the head.
I'm not going to miss SOB girl Tiffany Rios. Attention whores like here should never have gotten through the door, but I guess her big boobs blinded Steven and Randy.
Tourette's/Aspergers Guy (T/AG) annoys me, too. Get a job!
Jacee should not have been sent to Hollywood at 15. While he's going to get a gazillion sympathy votes, Idol is going to swallow him whole and expel him through the blow-hole.
Does Clint have as many different pairs of glasses as Gokey? He strikes me as a belter. I want to punch him, too.
What's with all of the unemployed singers on the show? It's not like they're students or single parents and not working. Is it the economy? Or are we just propping up too many people in our capitalist welfare state?

Early on, I'm happy that we're getting to hear a lot of the better singers, although they throw in some gratuitous footage of people singing off-key and forgetting their lyrics, the latter of which should result in automatic elimination, regardless of how much they raise the eye candy meter.

Is ADHD blonde guy Carson the second coming of Norman Gentle? At least he can rock. He seems like a lot more fun than the guy who will also get a million sympathy votes because his fiancee was left brain damaged by a car accident.

Speaking of whom, Idol has led to people raising money for he and Juliana Ramos. Read more here.

Hey, Colton and Brett, Mike Score and Kenny G called and they want their hair back.

Lots more good singers are being shown, which is both a good sign (as an indicator of talent) and a portent of the bad singing that was edited to be shown at the end of the sequence.

How deep was the songbook for this round? Like 10 different songs? Did Nigel blow this year's budget on the Beatles catalog?

Annoying blonde Jacqueline is apparently sick and withdraws. At least she can come back next year. Or go on to sign a deal to appear on the Reality Kings website.

Chelsea is crying and that's usually a bad sign. But her singing isn't awful. It was certainly better than some of the others we've seen. Plus, she's not annoying like some of the others we've seen. For the record, I don't think she should get back together with Giovanni Ribisi.

I'm sure our friend Beckeye wants John Wayne Schultz to advance because she likes male eye candy. Jennifer does, too.

Psycho Crying Chick forgets the words and leaves the stage in tears, knowing that it means she's gone.

Jacee does pretty well, but Scotty mush-mouthes the words.

We didn't see T/AG, nor did we see OIG (Obama Intern Girl), but they get some face time in passing.

After everyone sings, we get some manufactured drama in the form of the Rooms of Doom™. The remaining singers are divided into 4 groups and each group will learn whether they're eliminated as a group. Traditionally, this is where one of the judges stalls for time while making the kids sweat until they finally reveal their fate. And just as he does every year, Seacrest promises a "twist".

In the first room are (among others) PCC, Jacee, Seth Rogan, Clint, T/AG and Kenny G. They are sent through; the only surprise is PCC, who should have been eliminated based on her forgetting the lyrics, but I think her overall catalog carried her through.

The next group to get the news includes some people who don't really know and they get eliminated. Here's a tip: If you're going to get eliminated, this is the point at which you want to get sent home. You can still come back next year, and you know how the Idol system works now. Not everyone will try out again, and not everyone who does try out again will make it back to Hollywood, but we've seen people in the past come back for more and make it to the voting rounds.

The fourth group also gets advanced and there is some nice male eye candy for Jennifer and Beckeye. I just hope there is a Kimberley Caldwell or Becky O'Donohue in there for me.

Next week, the kids are singing Beatles songs in Vegas. Hopefully they will have the option to sing more than one of 6 songs.

High Lord. Mithril-Hunter. Out.

Here's where the fun begins!

2011-02-16T19:47:00.006-05:00

That's right, it's time for what--in my opinion at least--is the best episode of the year: Group night.

It's always edited to be full of drama. It often gives us some of the best performances of the season. And it lets us see how the singers will fare under the pressure that they will face once the voting starts. Of course, it's also the time when Idol pimps out its faves, gives the Vote For the Worst crowd an early peak at whom they will be supporting and lays the foundation for the powervoting blocs that will dominate the show until May.

Seacrest reminds us that over half of the people who made it to Hollywood got whacked on the first two days, which lead some people (myself included) to wonder if they let too many people go through. The answer is "yes" by the way.

Since the show has been around for 9 seasons, the singers think they know the drill so some of the day 1 singers start practicing early. The producers wisely stomp on these plans by telling the singers they have to have a mix of day 1 and day 2 auditioners, so that one batch of singers doesn't have a marked advantage over another.

It's a fitting touch that SOB (Stars on Boobs) girl can't find a group. She would have been perfect with the Seacrest stalker! I just wish that had happened to Mikalah Gordon and Tatiana Nicole del Toro . . .

Just a side note: I love the Idol moms! I'd shoot myself if my mom went to Hollywood with me for Idol (and for the record, I love my mother), but it's funny when it happens to someone else.

I also find it interesting the way the different groups cope with the group formation. Some gel instantly and rock the house (think Blake Lewis, Chris Sligh, Tom Lowe and Rudy Cardenas), others are dramafests that implode (any time crying is involved). Some stay up late while others knock out their practice early and get a good night's sleep.

While I realise that much of the drama is "creatively" edited by the producers for maximum effect, one point worth bringing up is that each year, there are invariably people put through to Hollywood who are marginal singers. I think this year, with over 300 people getting golden tickets, the judges were clearly too generous and should have told more people, "Work on your tone, work on your stage presence, or work on ______, and try again next year."

A couple of other notes from the show:

What the hell is Drama Queen's boyfriend doing at the Idol auditions?
Kenny G and the other girls look like have trainwreck written all over them.
Even if it's the schtick that gets you through the door to audition for the judges, don't ever go into group night with your girl-/boyfriend, regardless of whether they're your ex or you're still together.
Regardless of how things sounded at 2 AM, go to bed early. Staying up late will only cause you to crash and burn.
The only person in this world who could look good wearing chunky white plastic frame glasses is Lucy Pinder, and even then it's only because no one is looking at her eyes.
If someone in your group is crying and isn't bleeding, you're in for a rough group day.
Idol is not "Stupid Human Tricks". If you can do something involving your nose and a spaghetti noodle, don't let the producers goad you into displaying this talent for the camera.
I don't know if I'd want to go first--just to get it over with--or later, after a nap and some extra practice.

I am really enjoying the show Being Human on Sci-Fi, which is based on a the BBC show of the same name.

The first group of girls is not only really, really hawt, but they're drama free and work well together. Their harmonies have a couple of hiccups, but the choreography seems to work and the singing is pretty good. All three advance, even without lecherous Steven's automatic "yes" vote.

The second group to be shown gets put through, but I didn't think they were that good. Following them (at least on TV) is the group that was involved in some drama, and they get sent through. Are the judges going to eliminate anyone today?

Maybe the first will be SOB girl and another IBG who will probably be featured in a video available for purchase from Dirty Sanchez within the next three months. Their harmonies are simply awful. They are wisely eliminated very quickly. Of course, Tiffany can't just walk away. You were in a group before SOB pulled you away; how's that working out for you, Blondie?

Next up is a group who had one member oversleep and couldn't seem to roll out of bet at the crack of 9. If that happened to me, I would punch that person in the face. This is one of the hazards of the group week; your fate is partially in someone else's hands. Oversleeper and another random guy are eliminated.

Note to future singers, creatively sucking up to the judges is good, especially when it involves pulling one of them up on the stage. Unfortunately, they ruined that trick for any future seasons. Also, only one of them got passed through.

We're half way through the show tonight and despite all of Seacrest's assertions that this season's group rounds had some of the most amazing performances evah, I've yet to see anyone that has blown me away or anything that can compare to this.

After the next commercial break is one of the worst group performances I can remember that was reasonably drama free; the harmonies were horrible, which leads into a montage of people forgetting lyrics and groups who can't find the same key. All are deservedly eliminated (see rule 1A to the right).

The best quote of night is from a very pretty girl whose name I did not catch, "I am very disappointed in myself." I admire that. Take you lumps. Don't beg for another chance. Don't try and blame anyone else. Suck it up and realise that this just wasn't your year. And then (unless you're 28 at the time of your audition), try out again for next season.

Then we see psycho crying girl's group and they're all advanced. What's the over-under on how many minutes into tomorrow's show that she bursts into tears?

Tourette's/Asperger's guy and his group are next, and things are (very) rough. They're followed by the stage mom's kids, who the judges fawn over. I thought their harmonies were only marginally better than the other group. The stage moms come out on stage afterward (probably directed to by Seacrest); you'd think Idol would have learned from Dadchuleta.

We've seen way too many bad groups. Were they all awful, or is Idol saving up to show us all the good ones at the end?

Idol has spend most of the night handing 15 year old JC about a gazillion sympathy votes should he make the voting rounds. Not only did he get bounced from his original group, he's only 15, overweight and clearly way out of his element. He's the reason why the age limit needed to be raised not lowered. He is advanced, mostly out of sympathy. He is clearly a weak singer and shouldn't still be there. No 15 year old kid should thrown into the pressure cooker of Idol.

His former group isn't half bad, but I think the judges probably should send the quartet home just to make an example of them, but they don't. At least Scotty seems to genuinely feel bad about kicking him out. Between the ugly glasses and being a jackwad, Clint should get the boot right away.

Giovanni Ribisi, his ex-girlfriend and the oddly perky IBG with the fake boyfriend are the last group shown and they're awful. The redhead isn't half bad, but the other two stink to high heaven. They forget the lyrics; you'd think that when you had the chance for what Idol offers (instant fame and limited fortune), you'd at least try and take it seriously.

Tomorrow is the final night of Hollywood, and it's our friend Jennifer's favourite night because it features the Rooms of Doom™. As much as I enjoy this episode, I wish they had shown more of the good singers and less of the drama, but I say that every year.

I think I'm going to see if there are any 65s out there who want to run Anuminas or Great Barrows for superior third marks.

High Lord. Climber of Stairs. Out.

Hollywood lessons

2011-02-10T20:27:00.003-05:00

This is what we've learned from 9 past years of Hollywood rounds on Idol:

If you're in Hollywood, you want to get into the music business. Treat this like a business trip, not a party.
The Hollywood rounds are the second step on the journey, not the last.
If you have to resort to begging or crying at any point, Idol would have broken you if you'd had made it to the voting rounds. And it makes you come off as pathetic.
Just sing the song.
Don't act like a jerk on camera at any point. You may have come out of the auditions with a ton of face time, but if you come off as pretentious, a-holey, stuck-up, or annoying, the voting public will turn on you in a heartbeat.
Half of the crew gets cut on the first day. Your odds are not good.
If you don't make it, there's always next year. And that's not a bad thing.
If you don't make it, Idol is not the only way to get to the big time.
Although Seacrest calls it "Hell Week", you guys ain't got nothing on what BUD/S trainees go through if they want to become SEALs.
Don't forget the lyrics.

That is the sum total of what I've learned from what are my favourite rounds of the show. I find it interesting to see how people grow or crumble while on the big stage and under the bright lights.

Of course, just because you get through the first of the Hollywood cut-downs, that doesn't mean you're in the clear. There's still the group rounds and then the final individual round.

My least favourite part is the "Rooms of Doom"™ day, but I figure Idol needs to have a day of drama, so I tolerate it.

Why do they spend so much time showing the singers's auditions? Show the Hollywood singing!!!!!

168 people made it past the first of the Hollywood cut-downs, which seems like a high number. But as with past years, the group round should lead to some of the season's best performances and also let us know who the drama queens are.

I wish tonight's show had been 2 hours, so we could see more of the good singers.

High Lord. Pie Maven. Out.

Finally . . .

2011-02-09T19:57:00.003-05:00

At last, the auditions are almost over!

It's only an hour tonight, which makes me wonder how much actual singing we're going to see. I have a feeling we're going to get lots of trainwrecks and sob stories, so if things get too bad, I'm going to stop the blog and go run the Grand Staircase.

I will say that I'm happy to see that Idol seems to be focusing more on the good singers than the bad this season, although I don't care for the way they hand some people gajillions of votes (mom has breast cancer guy, dude with the brain-damaged girlfriend, etc.).

The best addition of the season so far is Steven Tyler. Not only is he a rock legend, but he's very entertaining. I can only aspire to live as long as he has, so people will think of me as a dirty old man, and not a perv. I still wish they'd have kicked Randy off the island and replaced him with either Harry Connick, Jr. or Barry Manilow.

I love Frosted Flakes.

On Monday, Mrs. High Lord went out of town on business for two weeks. Next Friday, she's taking a trip I gave her for Christmas to go to Orlando to visit a friend and go see Harry Potter World at Universal. You know what that means, right?

Two and a half weeks of the High Lord lounging around the house in a wife-beater, leaving the toilet seat up, sleeping in the middle of the bed and eating all the garlic-laden Italian food that Mrs. High Lord despises! Yeah, baby!!!!!!

I'm surprised that Steven and Randy didn't put the belly dancer through. I figured Steven in particular would like eastern European girls who look like they're underage and can move their hips like that even if they can't sing.

In case you hadn't heard, Randy got tired of Simon and Paula's schtick like the rest of us did.

Check out the best of the Super Bowl ads from this year.

Speaking of the Super Bowl, how about them Packers? Although I wanted the Steelers to win, I'm happy to see the post-Brett Favre give #4 the big eff-you by winning without him. I just wish Rashard Mendenhall could hold on to the ball. Of course, if Jordy Nelson didn't contract a case of the drops just before the game, the Packers would have been up by about 30 points at the half.

Why, oh, why do they let people in costumes through to the judges? That should be against the rules. Even if they do turn into a human-sized robot. At least remember the lyrics . . .

Or have blonde hair and big boobs.

Speaking of Transformers, I'm posting this video in honour of my old college roommate, Kendrick. (Warning: Not necessarily for children)

So far, I haven't seen anyone in San Francisco who has blown me away. Sure the judges did some fawning, but I don't think there was anyone who really stood out. I guess the Hollywood rounds will be more important than ever this season since they've put so many people through.

Have I mentioned that Mrs. High Lord is spending almost as much time playing Angry Birds on her iPad as I play LOTRO?

Tomorrow is the first of the Hollywood rounds; let's hope there's a focus on singing and less drama than in years past.

High Lord. Pie-Eating Champion. Out.

Idol in Texas

2011-02-02T20:05:00.002-05:00

So how about Texas? The home state of Kelly Clarkson is home to the auditions this week. Texas is also home to the Super Bowl this year. This morning it was -9° with the wind chill. And they're going to have the Super Bowl in New York in a couple of years . . .

Here's what I think about a cold weather Super Bowl:

If you don't want weather to be a factor, not only in the game, but for all the hoopla surrounding the game, then it can only be in 5 places: Miami, Tampa, New Orleans, Phoenix and San Diego. People love to go there and it's almost never freakishly cold (except in New Orleans, but people won't care because it's New Orleans). The players, fans and corporate suits love the warm weather in February.
If you want weather to be a factor, stop giving the Super Bowl to the city that hosts the NFL franchise with the newest/biggest/baddest/most expensive stadium. Play it in the home stadium of the team that has the best regular season record (tie-breakers: head-to-head, division record, conference record, common opponents, points scored). If Jerry Jones wants to host the Super Bowl, let him hire a general manager and win some games. If Miami doesn't want to go to Chicago for the Super Bowl, they need to beat some people.

The game needs to be played either in the elements the Football Gods made for the game, or it needs to be in a place where girls walk around bikini-clad or topless.

The first guy who's up has an oddly creepy relationship with the sister who he didn't know existed until just last week. It's too bad he can't just sing the sing. Why do people do all that crap with a song? (See rule #2 to the right). The second girl also violated rule #2, but then just sang and she wasn't all bad. She's going to get mowed down in the first round of Hollywood, but it was better than how she started.

Mrs. High Lord thinks John Wayne Schulz is cute. She also notes that the "Beef . . . it's what's for dinner" theme is playing. Interpret that any way you want. He's also got a sob story about his mom and breast cancer. It's too bad she's not as attractive as Bo's hawt mom. Of course he sings a Brooks & Dunn tune. He's actually pretty good. I wonder how he'll do out of the country genre.

You know where I've been playing a lot of Lord of the Rings Online lately? Mrs. High Lord has "discovered" Angry Birds on her iPad. I think she's cleared the first 90 levels and shows no sign of stopping. I wonder what she'll do when she gets to the end credits.

What's with the Seacrest stalker? Doesn't she know he's gay? (That's a joke! . . . maybe . . .) She's obviously a plant. And crazy. She reminds me of Alan & Charlie's neighbour Rose. And my psycho ex-girlfriend. What's really crazy is that compared to some of the others we've seen on the show, she's not half bad, which shouldn't be confused with half good.

As always, the auditions are underwhelming me again this year. Maybe it's because I think they're handing the VSCs (Very Special Contentants) votes, showing too many bad auditions, and only showing people who are going to get cut early in the Hollywood rounds. Of course, I can't complain as long as J-Lo is on the TV. (Now if they can only promise to not show Marc Anthony again this season).

Look, it's a couple, Nick and Jacqueline. She's way out of his league. Steven will put her through on looks alone, even though she also violates rule #2. What, no duet? I think they should have done "Endless Love" or "Cruising". Or maybe "All I Have".

I would be worried about rejecting people from Texas. Surely the Idol people know that for every person in the state, there are 10 head of cattle and four guns. Anyway, there are now 5 audition shows in the books, which means next Thursday should start the Hollywood rounds, which are usually the highlight of the pre-voting rounds.

High Lord. Bane of the Barrows. Out.

It's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."

2011-01-26T20:19:00.003-05:00

So I turned the show on right at 8, and the first thing I saw was Gokey's smug/smarmy smile. A little part of me died right there.

Last week it was FRC, and this week Gokey. Is Idol bringing back all of the creepy singers from years past? Was some of the Idol eye candy not available? Where's Kimberly Caldwell? Becky O'Donohue? K-Mac? Heck, I'd settle for Lindsay Cardinale.

One nice thing about the auditions this year is that they're not being mean. Yeah, I know that some people tune in just to see the delusional trainwrecks, but I appreciate that they're showing more of the good singers than the bad. One side effect is that there seems to be a concentration of what our friend Beckeye calls "Very Special Contestants". These are the sob stories who tend to get extra TV time because they are a miracle baby (Anthony Fedorov), their spouse recently died (Gokey), they're a single mom (Fantasia) or their parents fled the remnants of war-torn Yugoslavia (that girl from last Wednesday) just so their daughter could audition for Idol.

I just wish they'd show singers, instead of handing votes to some people at the expense of others. I know I harp on the thing about face time, but it does make a difference. It's no secret that Idol pimps some of its singers ahead of others (Archuleta, Carrie, Gokey, et al), and to think that early face time in the audition rounds doesn't make a difference is sheer foolishness.

Another complaint I have about the show is the age limit of 15. For example, that girl who drove her family just after getting her learners permit will get chewed up and spit out by the show. I'll bet she doesn't make it past the first day in Hollywood. Her problem is that she's got all these dreams, her parents tell her she's good, but she has no frame of reference and no past failures. Idol will crush her. And not just a little. We're looking at a Leah LaBelle-level meltdown.

If you're crying in the auditions for any reason, you're 1) not mentally tough enough for the show, or 2) just mugging for the camera and trying to farm sympathy from the viewing public.

The minimum age should be 18, and the upper limit should be 30. Yeah, I know that most "Idols" get started young, but if the object is to find someone with staying power (something the show has repeatedly failed at--7 of 9 times), 15 year old kids are not the way to go. Of course, the show only cares about ratings this season, and if the "American Idol" vanishes from the scene, they will just be replaced next year.

While the show wades through the crap, check out this Lord of the Rings Online fan video.

In other MMO news, it appears that Star Wars: The Old Republic will be coming out later than we had been led to believe. A part of me is disappointed, but I'd like the game to be good, so I don't mind if they're tweaking the content. On the other hand, they can only back the release date up for so long before people decide to stick with WoW, DC Universe Online or LOTRO.

Another wish I have for the show: No one in a costume is allowed to audition!!! Just effing sing.

The rest of the auditions have been pretty meh for me. Aside from the young woman who got whacked by the Big Dawg, they were all pretty blah (she was actually pretty good, but where was her family? Are they all Republicans?).

Also, since I'm bored, check out the funniest TV spot of the football season.

Another thing I like about this season is the way Steven leers over all of the jailbait. While it's kind of creepy, he's at the point in his life where he's a dirty old man, not a perv. I can only hope to live that long. Maybe when he dies, we can dry him out and smoke him.

I think I'm going to try and rustle up a group for Hall of Crafting.

High Lord. Victorious Hunter of the Sword-Halls. Out.

Is Idol smarter than a 5th grader?

2011-01-19T19:51:00.002-05:00

That's right, friends, Idol is starting its 10^th season. Gone is the triumvirate of Randy-Paula-Simon to be replaced by Randy-Jennifer-Steven. I can't say I'm unhappy with the new panel, but I'll have to wait and see if it works out.

Personally, I wish they'd have kept Ellen and replaced Randy, who was always the most superflous of the "judges". The old panel had chemistry (before they effed it up by introducing Kara) and I think that's part of the reason why Ellen left. Of course, now that her main antagonist (Simon) is also gone, she could have done a good job to flourish on her own.

Nigel has promised lots of changes, of which I'm sure I'll be talking about as the season drags on, but the biggest is the departure of Simon Cowell. I'm actually happy he left. His frankness was refreshing when the show debuted, but now it's kind of cliche. My other problem with Cowell is that for the last four or so years, he's been phoning it in, and for the last two (if not three), he's been obviously bored with the whole thing. As if it were a burden on him to make tens of millions of dollars to show up for Idol.

Seacrest is also back, and I hope Nigel reins him in and keeps him from making the show about him and not the singers. They've also dispensed with the forced gender equity going into the top 12 (yay!) and lowered the age limit to 15 (boo!).

In other news, I'm still playing my hunter, but I've recently made my main LOTRO character an elf minstrel, who is also level 65 and I've started playing a captain who is now level 55. I'm playing way too much LOTRO, but at least I'm staying out of trouble (mostly). Look me up on Elendilmir; I'm an officer in our kinship, The Druadan. I'm usually logged on as Vraeden, Vuvuzeyla or Voontak (no, the V's are not for "Vistors").

As the show opens, the screen says the show is "ours". That's refreshing. For the past several seasons, it seems Idol has been more about Seacrest and keeping Simon entertained than the singing. I also hope they go back to being about affirming singers and choosing a good singer, not highlighting trainwrecks or being mean to people (remember "the other door" stunt and what they did to Judd?).

I'm very happy to see the always-hawt J-Lo. Not so much for the really unattractive Steven Tyler (his daughter Liv, on the other hand . . .). I hope they work out, and on the face of it, the two new judges have cache and real name recognition, unlike Kara and to a lesser extent Paula. I just wish they would have replaced Randy as well. Maybe he'll stop trying to be ghetto and become the reasonable voice he used to be.

Under the old panel, there was a producer, a performer and an executive. Each had a role and perspective. Now we've got a producer, a performer and a maybe washed-up/burned-out legend. There was also an MC who kept things moving, but then he dumped the co-host and tried to make the show about him. I think they should have dumped Randy, kept Ellen and replaced Seacrest with Harry Connick, Jr. But that's just my wish list.

I'm not going to talk too much about the initial audition shows, since I think they're mostly filler and they spend too much time highlighting the William Hungs of the world or handing people votes with their sob stories (Anthony Fedorov), their aw-shucks stories (Carrie Underwood) or outright pimping the handful of singers the producers want to win (Gokey, Archuleta). We'll find out if Idol has turned a corner if they actually have a level playing field going in to the Hollywood rounds.

Since my last Idol post, we've switched from Comcast (those bastards!) to DirecTV, whom I'm pretty happy with. I had to keep my Comcast cable internet because we life too far from the nearest DSL switch, but I like DirecTV so much better than Comcast. We get more HD channels, we actually get the channels we pay for and I haven't been jerked around every five months when Comcast feels like jacking up the monthly premium.

I just got a glimpse of FRC, and a little part of me just died when the eye-boink hit me like Call of Oromë striking an orc.

The first two singers they show are put through, and I wonder if we're going to spend the season wondering what's in Steven's cup. We also get our first glimpse of a 15 year old auditioner. I've said before that 16 is too young, and I definitely feel that a 15 year old will get chewed up and spit out by the show (Jaclyn Crum, anyone?).

As the show goes on, I'm going to do some word association:

Big boobs (good)

Oversinging (bad)

Crying (very bad)

"Miracle" babies (blech)

Falsetto (cringe)

J-Lo (yum)

Boy Scouts (why don't they sell cookies?)

Commericals (yawn)

Begging the judges (no pride)

Victoria Huggins (Carrie Underwood if she had a North Carolina twang, oversang everything, and was annoying as hell)

16 year-olds who dress like they're 22 (jail)

Brooklynn Decker (damn you, Andy Roddick!)

Mrs. High Lord was ticked off at me the other day. You see, we came home from work one day and a bunch of stuff I bought on eBay showed up. Namely, a Microsoft Sidewinder X6 keyboard, Logitech G13 gamepad, Razer Naga mouse and Razer Carcharias headset. My MMO setup is bad-ass. It's too bad I haven't quite gotten the whole PvP thing down yet (but I'm working on it! I'm really looking forward to the new Star Wars MMO that's supposed to drop in April.

I figure while I'm in the doghouse I may as well make the most of my time there. I'm thinking of trading in my car for a new one. I've got an RX-8, and while there's nothing wrong with it, I'm approaching my midlife crisis, so I'm thinking about getting the new Toyota/Scion FT-86, Nissan 370Z or perhaps a BMW 1-series coupe. You'll know I'm in trouble if I ask for a place to crash for a while.

To offset that, I'm sending her to Florida next month to visit her BFF in Orlando and go to Harry Potter land at Universal Studios. That should score me bunches of points. Then later this year, I think we're going to Hawaii. That should get me a new sports car, right? Or at least an iPhone 5 when they drop in June . . .

Last fall, I tried to pre-emptively tried to score some points by buying Mrs. High Lord an iPad. She's been looking for an eReader device, and we had tried out the MicroVelocity Cruz Reader, but it had some issues booting up and some problems with the Android OS, so we traded it in. While she was out of town, I bought it for her after Borders gave me my money back on the Cruz (which will probably be good in its second generation after they work all the bugs out). So far, it's a great device, but before you get it, know that an iPad is not a laptop (even though its priced like one) and you shouldn't expect it to do laptop things. But if you want a device that will surf the internet, let you check your mail and play Angry Birds, the iPad is a marvelous device (aside from the price).

Overall first impressions of tonight: Lots off good singers got shown. A few bad ones. The new judges's table looks like a lot of fun. Seacrest is not being shown as prominently. I hate that the show is on Wednesday/Thursday now because that's really going to mess with my other favourite show: The Big Bang Theory (DVR: Good!).

Tomorrow, we're going to N'Awlins, so I'll see you then.

High Lord. Diminisher of Giants. Out.

After a long break

2010-12-06T20:11:00.003-05:00

Yeah, I'm back after a bunch of slacking. I skipped blogging DWTS because I broke up with the show. But I'm back for the Sing-off. I'll fill you in on the various boring things going on in my life as this show and Idol unfolds.

First up is Eleventh Hour, a Glee-like assemblage of high schoolers. They were okay, especially for going first. At least "America" won't have a chance to hold that against them. It's too bad I can't stand their song. Overall, I liked them. Ben has nice things to say, Shawn is kind of patronising.

I'm so glad this show is back. It was the highlight of my reality season last year. Can you believe that the Beelzebub's rendition of "Magical Mystery Tour" is still at the top of my iPod's playlist.

On the Rocks is from Oregon and apparently people on YouTube like them. Probably not as much as the Boone County Ninja, though. I'm not fond of this song either, and I have a hard time taking 15 guys singing Lady Gaga seriously. They were entertaining, if a little creepy. Did Ben just use the word "pitchy"? I thought Harry Connick, Jr. educated everyone that "pitchy" isn't a word. Shame on you, Ben!

Going in the three-hole is Groove For Thought from Seattle. I like they don't seem like semi-professionals as some of the groups are on this show. I like their jazzy sound that's not as overpowering as we've heard o this show before. They remind me a lot of Manhattan Transfer, which is good. Their harmonies are solid and they don't spend too much energy on non-singing performance.

The funniest name of the night is Pitch Slapped from Berklee (not Cal) College. They're entertaining and technically solid, but there's just too much going on. This reminds me of the over-produced second album that an artist releases after their small-budget and critically acclaimed debut. The female lead is über-hawt. The "pretty pitches" line was very funny.

Wrapping up the first half of the show is Jerry Lawson & Talk of the Town. Unlike last year's token AARP group, they're not boxed into the barbourshop genre. Plus, they're really good, in the tradition of a 50s do-wop group. They don't waste time dancing or distracting us with shirt skirts; they just sing. I don't think they'll win because they will probably sound the same every week, but in a pure singing competition, I think they'd wipe the floor with the other nine groups of kids. It seems a little unfair that they're allowed to compete, since Jerry is a professional a cappella singer.

What I like about the Sing-Off is that the judges actually get to judge. They don't leave things up to "America", so there are no Bristol Palins or Sanjayas hanging around because they have a "compelling" sob story, the VFTW crowd or they got a lot of face time when others got Melinda Liara'd. I also appreciate that on this show the judges often get it right.

After the first half of singing, they're going to eliminate one group. It's kind of crappy to get kicked to the curb after only 1 performance, but that's how these shows go, right? I would have actually liked all five of these groups to be moved on since they were all pretty good (some better than others).

After a short deliberation, the first group to get canned is Pitched Slapped. And they get to sing their way out with "Kiss Him Good-bye". I'm going to miss their überhawtness.

Carrying on the New England elite university tradition are the Whiffenpoofs, who have been around at Yale since forever. I'm sure they'll be good, but while the Beelzebubs were fun, they seem stuffy. . . . And they are. Technically, they're always on-pitch. And very gay. I didn't care for it.

Men of Note are from New Jersey, but I won't hold it against them. They like to pick up girls with their singing. They bring us one of the few a capella songs I can remember hitting the pop charts. Like the Whiffenpoofs, they do away with the mouth drums and just sing. They lack the polish of some of the other groups, but that's kind of refreshing. They get some tough, but constructive, criticism. I think they're only 50/50 to make it until next week.

Next up is Street Corner Symphony, which reminds me of last year's first-related group, Face. It's a shame they didn't go in the first round, so Pitch Slapped's hawtness could have been kept around for another week. Their performance song is better than anything that was in their introduction short. Their very "breathy", but at least they're not oversinging. Not great. Not awful.

In the nine-slot are The Backbeats can pick up where the SoCals left off last year. In fact, they picked up someone from the SoCals and another girl from Noteworthy, which seems a little disengenuous, but if the show lets them, more power to 'em. At least they'll know what to expect. The lead singer shouldn't try to sing bass. She's no Beyonce (but then again, who is?). They've also got a lot going on. It's good that they're going in a heat against people who are inferior. I think if they were in the first group, they would have been eliminated.

Over on ESPN, the Pats are kicking the crap out of the Jets.

Wrapping up the show are Committed, a group of 6 guys who sing gospel music. Like JL&TOTT, they have a very stripped-down basic sound, which is good. It's too bad I don't like this song. They sound more Boyz II Men than gospel, which might not be a good move in the long run. I like that there aren't 30 people on stage all trying to be the #1 voice (cough . . . Backbeats . . . cough). I think they'll survive this show, but will probably be eliminated on Wednesday. The final harmony was fantastic.

Shawn says this show is the best show of pure, unadulterated talent, and he's right. It's much better as a singing competition than Idol has ever been.

There's another short deliberation and Men of Note get the axe. They're not who I would have picked, but they didn't have a chance at winning.

My rankings for the night--in honour of our friend Jennifer--from worst to first:

The Whiffenpoofs, "Grace Kelly"
The Backbeats, "If I Were a Boy"
On the Rocks, "Bad Romance"
Pitch Slapped, "Good Girls Go Bad" (eliminated)
Street Corner Symphony, "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"
Men of Note, "For the Longest Time" (eliminated)
Eleventh Hour, "Baby"
Committed, "This Love"
Jerry Lawson & Talk of the Town, "Save the Last Dance For Me"
Groove for Thought, "I Wish"

At a couple of points in the show, I was wondering if I was hearing the same show as the judges. But I think overall, the right groups got eliminated.

I'll be back on Wednesday night for more of The Sing-Off.

If Brett Favre is on tonight

2010-05-26T20:00:00.020-04:00

singing "Pants on the Ground", I guarantee I will crap my pants.

That would rock, by the way.

Yes, it's time for the Idol finale, which in years past has ranged from either boringly unsuspenseful to actually good. We're guaranteed a retrospective on the finalists, returning bad auditioners and lots of self-congratulatory schlock.

Plus a few sightings of past Idols.

Crystal's dad is in the house, and he's wearing a tie. The show opens and we get lots of large crowd shots. They show the kids hometowns and I miss a loopy LaToya London in a feather boa.

Looking back on this year, I wonder what's going to happen next season. I hope they shake up things big time and get the show back to its roots as a genuine amateur competition. If they can do that: get some of the innocence back and return to being an actual competition, then the show will succeed. Otherwise, it's just going to be nothing more than a glorified popularity contest.

How much money did they have to throw at Alice Cooper? And why hasn't he been a mentor on the show yet?

While I don't think the show will be the same without Simon, I think it's time everybody moved on. He's clearly bored by Idol and contrary to popular belief, there something worse than Kara: Simon phoning it in. He's had one foot out the door for the past three or so years and the quality of the show has steadily declined.

Kris just started singing and someone in the sound booth just got fired.

I'm not saying that you can just replace Simon with the next swinging johnson, but he's not indispensable. Several names have been floated as replacements; Howard Stern was supposedly campaigning for the job, but I think that was nothing more than a publicity stunt. I would like to see someone like Gene Simmons take that seat. In any event, the judging panel needs to be more like that from "The Sing Off" and less like "America's Got Talent".

The actual make-up is less important than all three persons having credibility and chemistry. This panel clearly doesn't have it. Last year's didn't either and I believe that to be Kara's fault. I think she was initially brought on to replace Simon, but that would be disastrous.

Look, Simon is many things, but he's never patronising, and Kara is nothing but. I don't think his replacement has to be the same kind of nasty, but someone like Gene Simmons could be brutally honest without being a jackass. After figuring out who to replace him with, TPTB need to find two suitable persons to sit at the table with him.

The four-person judges table is an unmitigated disaster. It takes too much time and they need to go back to three people who can genuinely get along and help mentor the kids, rather than find ways to make the show about themselves.

By the way, did everyone see that guy who ate Barry Gibb?

Man, the best sounding person in that group was Siobhán!

If I were assembling a team of judges, I'd pick Gene Simmons, Harry Connick, Jr. and keep Ellen. I'd make Barry Manilow the permanent mentor and dump Seacrest for Tom Bergeron. Of course that will never happen.

The other thing I'd do to revitalise the show is eliminate the influence of the powervoters. As it is, the show isn't about turning in a good performance, it's about getting people to put up 700 text/phone votes per night. In a perfect world, the voting would be more like DWTS's; each phone/email gets 10 votes (15, 20, pick a low number). To keep the show from becoming an outright popularity contest, the show needs to limit voting so that the casual fan has as much influence as the rabid powervoter.

Either the fan voting needs to be limited or the judges need to have some actual influence over the results. This will result in the final product being stronger; no longer will a weak singer be able to advance towards the finale at the expense of people who are better. The judges will weed them out. Notice that on DWTS and SYTYCD, the people remaining at the end are rarely weak.

Contrast that with Idol, which has seen singers like Jasmine Trias, Sanjaya and Danny Gokey move on when they should have been eliminated earlier. I don't care which system Idol uses; on DWTS, the judges's scores are combined with the fan voting to determine who is eliminated and on SYTYCD, the judges determine who is up for elimination before the fans vote to save someone.

A third option is to change the voting entirely and let "America" vote to kick someone off instead of voting to keep their favourite.

Look, it's Big Mike singing with half of the Doobie Brothers. In case you're keeping score, we've seen Alice Cooper, the Bee Gees and Michael McDonald. Are they going to have any songs that are less than 10 years old? Isn't the stated goal of this show to find a pop star who will be on the radio/satellite/iTunes today?

I could have done without the lame Dane Cook bit, although it was good to see our friend Renaldo Lapuz again. Was William Hung busy? Was it just me, or did they cut to commercial very quickly?

The girls are on singing Christina Aguilera and my friend Mike is desperately hoping that Katie has turned 18 because he feels dirty looking at her. The harmonies are a little off; maybe they're actually singing and not lip-synching.

One thing that strikes me about this show is that aside from the oddly uncomfortable "tributes" to Simon, there's a lot of decent content to the show. They're letting the kids sing. Why did they have to wait until the finale for this to happen?

I also wonder why they can't get more current artists. Sure we've had Christina Aguilera, but now the guys are singing Hall & Oates. I was in elementary and middle school when these guys were popular and I'm almost 10 years older than Casey, the oldest of the singers. Fox, you just paid a lot of money to feature Lady Gaga on Glee, why not pay her to be on stage again, only this time withthe Idols instead of taking up space at a (way too long) results show.

Crystal takes the stage by herself singing Alanis Morrisette. I wonder if the "You Can't Do That On Television" alum is going to show up, too . . . and she does. I would have much rather heard them sing "Hand in My Pocket" instead of the Dave Coulier song. Alanis looks good; it seems she has rediscovered shampoo. On a side note, "You Oughta Know" was my psycho ex-girlfriend's favourite song. That should have tipped me off. Sadly, I'll never get the six weeks we went out back, nor the three months she spent stalking me.

After the 473^rd commercial, Carrie takes the stage. Unsurprisingly, she is last year's top earning Idol and I'm willing to be that no one else comes close for quite some time. See, kids? That's how it's done. If she and Kris were head to head in the same year, she would have chewed him up and spit him out. The only other singers who are even remotely in the same league as her are Kelly Clarkson, Chris Daughtry and maybe Clay. I'd put J-Hud in the same boat, but she's shown that she's a more successful actress than singer.

And then it's time for some crappy Ford product placement.

Casey gets some face time with a song that was hot when I was in middle school. Does this mean Brett Michaels and his bandana are going to be on? Man, he's been on TV a lot for a washed up hair band guy. On top of two white-trash dating shows, he had a stroke and won The Donald's reality show. I guess he really is bulletproof. Where is CC Deville? Although I loathe this song (it was played to death by the radio), this is almost as good as Adam Lambert with KISS last year.

Lee gets his turn with Chicago (the band). I guess it really is old timer's night. If we're scoring for relevant songs tonight, Idol is averaging about a 1983 out of 2010. What's the matter, Simon Fuller? Couldn't get Simon & Garfunkel? Like Lee in general, his collaboration with Chicago is a snoozer.

General Larry Platt takes the stage and I'm looking for Brett Favre to make his appearance. I guess he's too busy recovering from ankle surgery, so they had to get William Hung. My friends Floyd and Shawn are very, very happy. Did you know that William Hung is something like the fifth best selling Idol of all time? He even has his own DVD.

There's another montage/tribute to Simon and Paula makes her return to the show. I wonder if she's on or off the juice tonight. I'm guessing off the happy sauce, but I don't think what she took about half an hour ago was ibuprofen. The love child joke was pretty funny. The rest of her stage time was awkward.

Is this show about announcing the next American Idol or Simon Cowell? I know that some people think it's the latter, but wouldn't this have been better done in an hour-long retrospective on a night between the final singing show and the final results show. If I were Lee or Crystal, I'd be ticked off that the show was so much about him and not them.

The former Idol winners take the stage and this is what this show should be: welcoming home the past Idols and celebrating the show, not the egos of the judges and host. I wonder what happened that David Cook couldn't make it. I'm also happy to see that Fantasia got herself a new stylist. Did they really need the extra chorus with all the Idols that were on stage? (The answer is "no", by the way).

Change #26 I would make to the format of the show: Only former Idol winners and finalists are allowed to perform at the finale.

Just a LOTRO reminder: I'm Kindelle or Vraeden on Elendilmir and Brindelle or Amberley on Windfola. Holla at me.

Change #27 I would make to the format of the show: The weekly results shows need to be 30 minutes and the season-ending finale stops after 60 minutes.

Was the Janet Jackson appearance really necessary? I know I sound like a broken record, but why couldn't they get someone who has had a hit in the last five years? Oh, that's right, I forgot about Christina. I guess Idol is 1 for 12 for current stars appearing on the finale.

At heart, this is what's wrong with the show: for a format that supposedly is intent on finding a current pop star, they spend an awful lot of time mining song catalogs that are twenty, thirty, forty or fifty years old. This has to stop. If the show is to truly generate a current star, they need to sing current songs. Lacking that, Idol will become a popularity-driven karaoke contest. And we all know what Simon would say about that.

Are there really 17 minutes left in this show? (That's assuming it doesn't run over)

Seacrest takes the stage and says, "Tonight is about Crystal and Lee" What a crock of feldercarb!!!! Tonight has been anything but. As near as I can tell, tonight has been about acts who had their heyday thirty years ago and Simon Cowell. What took them so long to bring the show back to them.

Hopefully, they'll sing "Falling Slowly" again . . . But no, it looks like they're going to get their money out of the royalties they're paying to access the Lennon/McCartney songbook. Too bad the only person they could get to help them out was Joe Cocker (or his overweight doppelgänger with bad teeth).

Change #37 I would make to the format of the show: If anyone other than the Idols is going to be on stage for a Beatles song, it will be Paul or Ringo.

There's yet another commercial break and then Seacrest brings us back with the two remaining Idols. The results are certified by some independent accountant and then he announces that Lee wins Idol.

Mrs. High Lord just swore off Idol and went upstairs to watch Sex and the City on HBO in HD.

I guess TPTB got what they wanted. In a way, Crystal got what she wanted, too. Now she won't have to shill for 19E for the rest of her life.

He gets to sing his U2 cover (it's a "current" song, if you consider a song that's 10 years old to be current) amidst all of the confetti.

According to Seacrest the margin of victory was 2%, which is closer than I would have predicted. After last night, I thought that Crystal would win in a landslide. I guess I was wrong. As usual.

The good news is that the show finished on time. We'll see what they do next year to "fix" the show.

I'll be back later this week or early next to reflect on the season.

Congrats, Lee! You made a strong charge at the end, even if I don't get your charm. Apparently enough other people out there did and crowned you the season 9 American Idol.

High Lord. Bane of the Orcs. Out.

Is it really the end of the season?

2010-05-25T19:54:00.010-04:00

On one level, I don't know how this season of Idol passed so quickly. On another level, a part of me can't wait for this season to be over.

I'm not ready to say that Idol has jumped the shark, but clearly something needs to be done. By my reckoning, Idol started it's downhill slide a couple of years ago; the moment was when Simon first rolled his eyes, not because the singing was bad, but because he was bored.

Since then, there have been some changes; I won't list them all, but I think people vastly underestimate how important Nigel Lythgoe was to the show and now that he's gone, they tinkered with the show in ways that proved to be unfortunate at best and disastrous at worst.

Is Idol dead? The naysayers are proclaiming so. Simon is leaving. Ratings are down. The show is no longer the find-an-amateur-singer machine it once was. It's been taken over by advertisers and product placement, from the cups on the table to the mentors.

I don't think Idol will crash and burn without Simon, but they need to make some changes. First of all, the show needs to back to being about the singers, not the judges or the host.

Second, they need to clean house at the judges's table. Randy needs to go because he hasn't had a constructive thing to say since about seven years ago. Kara needs to go because she's annoying and condescending. Ellen is okay, but she can't carry the show. I'd also say that Seacrest needs to be voted off the island, but I've read that he's the only one who's safe.

Third, the show needs to start picking singers based on talent, not to fill a role (dumb blonde girl, angry white guy, black R&B guy, black girl belter, etc.).

Will Idol listen? Maybe TPTB already are. As reported on MJ's Big Blog, they've tinkered with the schedule, making the results shows a half hour (the singular plank of my Presidential platform) and cutting back on the performance shows.

Now if they'd only eliminate the killer themes and bring in mentors who are interested in bettering the singers instead of shilling for their own next project or album . . .

The performance show tonight is only an hour; after this, I'll switch over to the 2 hour marathon DWTS results show.

There was a coin toss to determine the singing order. Crystal won and she smartly chose to go second.

That means Lee is going first. The first song is a recycled version of a previous performance and he sings "The Boxer". I still find him to be a boring looking person and I'm uninspired by the performance. I don't see what is so great about him, but that's just me. Vocally, it's okay, but it caters to his fanboys/girls and will surely garner him a lot of votes.

CBX is next and she's reprising "Me and Bobby McGee", which is a good choice for her. I would have picked "Hand in My Pocket" or "People Get Ready". It's as good as the first time, but her problem is that she's been so consistently good all season that it's hard for her to improve.

Right before I fired up the blog tonight, I was invited to run Dar Narbugud and I had to pass. I guess that's good since my radiance right now stinks.

For Lee, Simon Fuller picked R.E.M. which is one of the worst songs to get stuck with. Talk about a depressing song . . . . What do you want to be that Randy rips Lee for his song choice. This is bad, but it's not Lee's fault. The wailing is awful. And what's up with the choir? Simon points out that he's nervous, which is either a ploy to get him more sympathy votes or will cause him to implode on stage.

I guess we can officially rename the producer's choice the "Simon Fuller Wheel of Death™".

And what's up with all the commercials? How much do you want to bet that the show runs over? If you're taping/DVRing "Glee", set it to run 15 minutes over now.

Crystal gets Alanna Miles from Simon Fuller, which is a good choice. After all the maneuvering they did to get Lee into the finale, are they now trying to hand it to Crystal? Despite the fact that this has been done to death, it's the almost perfect song for Crystal. As with "Everybody Hurts", it's a lousy song choice, but it fits her style more than REM was good for Lee. At least it wasn't a straight cover.

It's 8:31 and there are only two performances left. Maybe they'll actually come in on time.

It looks like someone at Idol opened up the checkbook because Lee is singing some U2. I'm just happy the CCS isn't some schlock written by Kara or her spiritual sibling. He still seems nervous. If the only measuring stick were stage presence, Crystal would be wiping the floor with him. She's close as it is. The problem with this song for Lee is that it's over produced. There are too many people on the stage. It's too loud. The venue is drowning him. This is the absolute wrong outlet for him; he doesn't have a big voice and the song is doing him no favours. He should have gone acoustic and not let the producers tell him he had to have three whole string sections on stage.

I'm freaking out there; it's 8:40 and there is only one song left.

Simon tells Lee that he is the kind of person Idol was designed to benefit, which is absolutely 100% correct. Idol has become an outlet for semi-professional singers to get exposure, but in its early days, the show truly was about finding undiscovered talent. It's too bad the show got away from that.

The final Pimp Spot of the season is taken by CBX. Where Lee's song was over the top, Crystal goes acoustic and that's smart for her, since that's how she'll sound when she strikes out on her own and joins the Lilith Fair tour. The song drags in parts, but for her, it could not have been better. Randy calls it one of the greatest performances in the history of the show, which is a bit of hyperbole, but it was still good.

Damn, I wish Kara would just shut the eff up.

Yeah, Crystal just crushed Lee.

The Good
Crystal, "Up to the Mountain"

The Bad
Crystal, "Me and Bobby McGee"
Crystal, "Black Velvet"
Lee, "Beautiful Day"
Lee, "The Boxer"
Lee, "Everybody Hurts" (but it's not really his fault)

The Ugly
no one tonight

I think Lee's nerves got the best of him tonight. The show was too big for him and when the lights came on, he wilted. Part of it isn't his fault. Simon Fuller picked a crappy song for him. The producers made the show too big for him.

I think Crystal will run away with this thing. You'll notice that neither Randy nor Simon have been giving rounds away. If they did, all three would have gone to Crystal.

There are four hours of voting and Lee's powervoters need to work overtime or he won't only lose tomorrow, he'll lose in a landslide. I'm going to fold the blog for the night and switch over to the DWTS finale.

High Lord. Pie-Eating Champion. Out.

Can we vote Grumpy Len off the show?

2010-05-25T09:58:00.002-04:00

In a nutshell, last night's DWTS was the reason why I'm fed up with the show.

It can be summed up in three words: Fuddy. Duddy. Len.

Why can't he embrace styles of dance that aren't ballroom. Especially for the freestyle. Freestyle. FREEstyle.

He has consistently scored people lower for things he just doesn't like. Not because it's bad dancing, but just that's not his thing. That's got to stop. That's why--despite all the reasons to like DWTS--SYTYCD is a more compelling show.

Erin and Maks turned in what I thought was one of the best freestyle dances we've seen in a long time. What I liked about it was not only that they took on a style that is not seen on DWTS (thanks, Fuddy-Duddy Len! [boo!][hiss]), but they had an actual dance that was a coherent story from beginning to end.

Too many freestyle dances are simply a collage to tricks and stunts thrown together (Derek & Nicole, I'm talking to you), but Maks and Erin did a really good job. Was it technically perfect? No, but at least Maks didn't drop her on his final lift.

It makes me wonder how good Maks could actually be if he were paired with celebs who have above average talent and looks (as Derek seems to be). Let's face it, Maks's high water mark was finishing second with Mel B. He sniffed the finals with Laila Ali, but has also been stuck with Debi Mazar, Denise Richards (and her three left feet), Willa Ford and Tia Carrere. Plus, you can't hold Misty May-Treanor's freak achilles tendon agains him.

Of the remaining celebs, Nicole is the obvious choice to win. This has been her competition to lose from Day 1, and at points, I think Derek has been overchoreographing her and deliberately incurring Len's I-Hate-Anything-That-Is-Less-Than-30-Years-Old wrath to keep scores down.

Anna & Evan had a bad night, which was highlighted by their obvious lack of personal chemistry. I don't think it's Anna's fault in the least; Evan is simply a really, really boring person. Mrs. High Lord says it's his "flat affect" which could mean his GAF score is down or that he's just a very guarded person.

I liken his moods to the acting abilities of Keanu Reeves or Andrew Shue. You can't tell when they're happy, angry, sad, mildly perturbed or having an orgasm. The facial expression and vocal tone doesn't change. The fact that they finished 3 points behind means that they have a ton of ground to make up in the fan voting.

For the record, I think Nicole is going to win. However, if the fans vote in force and the final scored dances end it ties, the rules of the show say that the fan vote breaks all ties.

The person I feel empathy for the most is Anna. She's done more with Evan than I think a lot of others could have done, but she'll once again finish on the outside looking in. The only person who seems to lead a charmed life on this show is Derek Hough, who seems to get all the previously trained hawt partners.

I wonder how he would have done if he had gotten Neicy Nash, Melissa Joan Hart, Priscilla Presley or Holly Madison.

In other news, I created two characters on the Windfola server: Brindelle a human captain and Amberley, an elf minstrel. If you play LOTRO and are on either Windfola or Elendilmir, drop me a line and we'll go hunt some orcs.

Big night tonight: Idol at 8 (only an hour, yea!), then the two-hour DWTS finale/results.

High Lord. Seeker of Deep Places. Out.

No surprises here

2010-05-19T21:55:00.002-04:00

That's right, as expected, Crystal advanced to the finale. Lee was also put through, making him the longest shot to make the finale that I can remember. At the beginning of the season, I don't think anyone really knew what to make of him, but he's gained a following, absorbed the voters of singers who have been eliminated and improved steadily.

This means that Casey was kicked off, which ruins my prediction for the season, although I will say that most other bloggers I read didn't have him advancing this far.

So how does this stack up against say, last season?

The easy comparison is that you have one person who started the season as a singer to watch (Adam/Crystal) combined with someone else whose singular accomplishment has been to avoid getting kicked off week after week (Kris/Lee).

Can Lee upset the machine that is Crystal? Maybe. That is, unless Crystal decides she wants to win, stops sandbagging and unloads both barrels on him like we know she can (if he wants to).

This season has been hers to lose from the beginning. We've thought that before (Chris Daughtry, Melinda Doolittle, Adam Lambert, David Archuleta) and things didn't turn out as planned. Other years, the final two have both been strong (Clay/Rueben, Carrie, Bo).

I think for Lee to win, he's got to pick up Casey's voters, and that's probably not going to happen. I think they'll go to Crystal. Lee will pick up the VFTW crowd, but I think their influence is on the wane.

My pick before the finale is for Crystal to win. But ask me again next Tuesday night.

In other news, I was happy to see more footage of the singers going home. I could have done without the craptacular Ford commercial and the singing from the two random tween sensations. Why not have an encore performance from the actual Idol singers instead of that schlock.

Anyway, I'm going to see if I can rustle up a group for Sammath Gul, Sword Halls or the Grand Staircase (I ran the Turtle for the first time tonight so I'm locked out of that for a week).

High Lord. Blind Leaper. Out.

Yes, I'm a slacker

2010-05-18T19:40:00.013-04:00

Yeah, I know I didn't blog Big Mike's elimination last week, but who didn't see that coming? Seriously, who didn't see that coming?

You, there . . . in the back . . . put your hand down.

Being on borrowed time only meant that he got a couple of extra weeks to stave off elimination, but by needing to be saved by the judges only indicated that he wasn't going to win. I also think some voters were turned off by Idol shoving him down our throats like they did with Gokey and Archuleta, so when it turned out he needed to be saved, they turned from him. I'm sure he's happy to have come in 4^th.

That leaves us with the two most seasoned performers, plus another guy who is somehow still standing.

Here are my quick thoughts on Idol's final three:

Casey
The oldest of the singers, Casey has pretty much done his thing for the entire run of the show. He plays the guitar, sings bluesy-rock songs and can eye-boink the camera without appearing smarmy like FRC. At the beginning of the season, I picked him to win, and it's coming close to happening. I don't know if it's the Cougars for Casey crowd, or the tweenies gravitating to him because he's the hawtest guy left, but both of the guys have a long way to go in order to stick with the leader.

Crystal
Early season prognosticators picked her to win, which was a reasonably wise pick. I didn't think "America" would embrace her the way she has, but the fact of the matter is that she's the most seasoned performer and the best musician of the group. To me, her problem has always been that I don't know who's voting for her. She doesn't strike me as the traditional Idol frontrunner, but then again, neither did David Cook. Now that this season's TCOs have fallen by the wayside, the door is open for Crystal to win.

Lee
I don't know what to make of him. I personally don't care for his singing and I think he's about as exciting as an afternoon of shopping with Mrs. High Lord for anything other than a television or a car. I think he's Jasmine Trias 2.0, only not a hawt. He's snuck in under the radar all season by being patently unoffensive. While that's great for him, it also means that he's very, very boring. If any of the eight people who read the blog are voting for him, please explain to me why.

At this point, the odds I give to win are as follows:

Lee, 10-1
Casey, 5-1
Crystal, 3-2

Note that I do not endorse gambling.

Over on ABC, DWTS is eliminating one more couple before leading into their 3-way finale. I think Chad is going to get eliminated, even though he's the only true amateur among the remaining celebs. I think he's got a lot of voters (he certainly has enough followers on Twitter), but his scores are so much lower than the others that I don't think his voters will get him far enough over the hump to stick around until next week.

The prohibitive fave is of course Nicole, but Evan and Erin have an outside shot, especially since the winner will ultimately be picked by the fan vote, not the judges's scores.

I was happy to see the traditional end of the year score inflation as the judges whipped out their 10 paddles.

Back to Idol:

With three singers left, everyone gets a trip home. Now if they'd only give Kara a plane ticket home and not pay for the return trip . . .

My hunter is up to level 65; I'm trying to build rep with the Malledhrim and gather tokens to trade for radiance armour. I ran Sammath Gul for the first time last night; there was me, a captain, a champion, a guardian, a burglar and a minstrel. Things were going great until the captain dropped link and the champ had to go "study" for "finals". WTF? Doesn't everyone know that my pursuit of radiance armour is more important than school? I also got the "fishslap" emote before the Spring Festival ended, which is pretty cool.

First up is Casey who goes the unplugged route. It's a typical vintage Casey performance that starts without the usual video montage. It's okay, but not great. I think a part of him doesn't want to win because he knows that the recording contract he wins will be cut just like it was for Taylor Hicks. I was meh on the whole performance. Maybe he's sandbagging. Perhaps the Dead Man's Spot is the way TPTB are going to ensure a Crystal-Lee finale.

Crystal is singing Melissa Etheridge, and I'm sure both Ellen and Missy would like to come to her window. Interpret that any way you want. Like Casey, Crystal turns in a performance that is typical of her since the season started. The difference is that Crystal actually seems to want it. I think she's holding back a little; on the good side, it's not a straight cover arrangement, but at the same time, she lacks Melissa's raw passion.

Over on DWTS, Evan was just declared safe, which means that either Erin (maybe), Nicole (not a chance) or Chad (probably) will be eliminated. It's interesting that they're doing background on the pros, not the celebs tonight. By the way, Cheryl looks just like her mom, and Mrs. Burke is pretty good looking (not as hawt as Bo's mom, but in twenty-five years, Cheryl is still going to be very attractive).

Drawing the Pimp Spot is Lee, whose sit-down interview puts me to sleep. Damn that boy is boring. So is the Skynyrd tune. Here's a hint, Lee: don't turn your back on the audience. Like the other two, this is a typical Lee performance. Only more boring that either of the other two. Technically, it's okay. The vocals are good, if unspectacular. The judges are going to give him a tongue bath, but I don't care any more for him now than I did after last week.

Why are the singers taking it so safe tonight? I'm right about the judges (undeservedly) slurping Lee.

Now that the first round is over, we get to see each singer go to his hometown AT&T store. Casey's segment is surprisingly light on content; apparently, Idol is only interesting in getting paid by AT&T. I think they picked his song originally for Mike, but then gave it to Casey since the royalties had been paid. This is another yawner of a performance, but at least no one can blame him for the song choice (maybe he can since he told VCM she picked the wrong song when Clive Davis had her sing "I Believe I Can Fly"). As before, it's not awful, but I don't think it inspired anyone to pick up the phone for him.

Even when Kara talks to Simon, she's condescending. Have I mentioned how much I want her gone from the show?

In case you haven't heard, Julianne Hough is returning to DWTS, which will automatically return her to the title of "Future Mrs. High Lord". If you were wondering, my current title is "Kindelle Elessedil the Bold".

For Crystal, Ellen picked a Paul McCartney song, which she should kill. She goes no-instrument, which is a not-quite-M-Night-Shyamalan-level twist, but still surprising. She doesn't fully unleash her vocals, but does well enough to carry herself into the finale. Ellen was just thinking that Crystal was singing to her. I still think she's sandbagging.

Over on DWTS, Nicole & Derek were just advanced to the finale which means either Erin or Chad will be the 100^th person eliminated from DWTS.

For someone who constantly harps on song choice, Simon picks "Hallelujah" for Lee. I already don't like it, but that's not Lee's fault. Haven't we heard this once this season already? (Yes from Tim back in the rounds of 24). He doesn't ditch the guitar and inexplicably gets an eight-person backing group. Maybe they were cheaper than the single bagpiper. It was good, but the judges give him the expected slurp-job.

In the interest of full-disclosure, I have to admit that I don't care for Lee as a singer and I like "Hallelujah" even less. So sue me.

The Good
no one tonight (too many safe songs and arrangements)

The Bad
Crystal, "Baby, I'm Amazed"
Crystal, "Come To My Window"
Lee, "Hallelujah"
Casey, "Daughters"
Casey, "Okay, It's Alright With Me"
Lee, "Skinny Man"

The Ugly
no one tonight (at this stage, no one should be bad)

What's up with the effusive praise for Lee and tepid response to Lee and Casey? It's not like he did anything they didn't. Was he really that much better than the other two? (The answer is "no", by the way) Do TPTB just not want Casey in the finals? (The answer is "apparently, yes", by the way)

Over on DWTS, Chad was just eliminated, which is a shame since he was the only true untrained dancer still on the show. Let's face it: Nicole is a professional dancer, Evan is a professional dancer who wears ice skates and Erin was on her high school and college dance teams. Despite claims that the show doesn't cast ringers, was there any doubt that there wouldn't be a true amateur champion?

Tomorrow night, we'll find out who gets to the Idol finale.

Who should be eliminated: Lee
Who will be eliminated: Casey

I was surprised that they didn't show more of the kids going home parties. I guess they'd have to cut out some combination of 1) the judges's inane banter, 2) some product placement time and 3) advertising, which we all know is never going to happen.

Unless there is a massive upset by the Cougars for Casey Crowd, I think it's a pretty safe bet that we're going to be looking at a Crystal-Lee finale. But then again, stranger things have happened.

High Lord. Well-Traveled. Out.

Just so you know

2010-05-12T20:08:00.001-04:00

I'm not feeling very well tonight, so I think I'm going to turn in early tonight. I've got the DVR set and I'm probably not going to work tomorrow, so I'll catch up on Idol and blog the show as I see it.

High Lord. Out.

Do you remember what happend this time last year?

2010-05-11T19:51:00.007-04:00

Yup, that's right, with four singers left last year, we found out what a tool Gokey truly was. Idol stole one of my great theme ideas, duets. Allison and Adam knocked it out of the park with a duet of "Slow Ride" while Gokey ignored Kris for all of "Renegade". What a schmuck.

In other news, Mrs. High Lord got a new car. At first she wanted a Honda Crosstour, so we went to the Honda dealer and she drive one of those and a new CR-V. She didn't like the CR-V; her 2004 is great, but she thinks the new ones have a cheap, plasticky feel. The Crosstour was wonderful; we liked the extra cargo space and the four-wheel drive, but at $35,000, it was more than she wanted to pay.

So we left the Honda dealer and went to the Toyota dealer where we ran into an old family friend. He wanted to get her into a Prius, so we took it for a test drive and really liked it, too. Plus, at about $24,000, it was closer to the price point she was looking for. I think she was ready to close the deal, but then Mrs. High Lord decided to take a RAV4 for a spin, and fell in love.

She likes the extra cargo space of a small crossover SUV and the four-wheel drive. Plus the car we drove is red (a must), has heated leather seats, sunroof, automatic climate controls, smart key entry and all the other bells and whistles except for navigation (a $2,000 option that can be easily replaced by a $150 Garmin).

The Toyota dealer lowballed us on a trade (to be fair, the CR-V did have some body work), but sold Mrs. High Lord on a lease that is less than the payment she had before the Honda was paid off. So far (after three days), she's very happy in her new car. Ask me again in a year whether she still likes it.

PS - If you know anyone who wants to buy a 2004 Honda CR-V with $63,000 miles, drop me a line.

On to Idol, the theme to night is movies and first up is Lee who goes way out of tune in several parts of Seal's song. Can't we retire this from the catalog? I still don't buy him as a serious contender to win and this week, he seems extra nervous. I think he was off in several parts and had to rush to catch up. Plus, he was sharp. A lot. The judges rightfully bash him for being too safe and being out of tune for most of the song.

If you haven't already, go take the American Idol survey. I hope TPTB actually listen the people who take the survey.

Last night on DWTS, Derek stopped messing around and unleashed Nicole. They earned the second perfect 30 of the season, even though they should have three right now. I think Derek just messes with Len when he has a ringer partner like Brooke or Nicole. We all know that he's the best choreographer of the guy pros, and somehow he keeps getting hawt women that are prone to finish in the top 5. I think Niecy is gone tonight with Chad to follow next week.

Next up is Big Mike who gets a mini gospel choir. The judges are going to eat this up. He's okay, if a bit predictable. Comcast's video feed is off tonight. What movie is this from? Why is Randy stealing Kara's lines about keeping the singers in their boxes? No, wait . . . Kara yaps on about his past performances. Can't they just accept the singers for who they are? I was meh on Mike tonight.

When you take the Idol survey, be sure to click on all the answers that would discourage the judges from wasting our time.

Next to go are Lee and CBX who should do well. Either that or Crystal will crush him. Does the duet have to be from a movie, too? I guess so. This was the perfect song for them. I liked the way they sang; it would have been easy to sing side by side, but the setup lent itself easily to an intimacy that Idol has been lacking for years. Plus the harmonies were fan-freaking-tastic.

Can they pack in any more commercials? I wish I had waited 20 minutes to start watching the show, so I could go no-filler for the whole show.

Casey is singing a Simon & Garfunkel song to Kara and all the other cougars out there. Mrs. High Lord is about to hurl something through her new TV. He goes Tiny Tim on us while sitting in the Sway Pit. I'm just happy he shaved. What is it with all the boring songs tonight? The vocals are aiiiiiiiiight, but nothing to write home about. I also appreciate that unlike Lee and Mike, he didn't do just a straight cover, which I'm sure the judges will rip him for. I'm almost wishing Mrs. High Lord would flip over to the DWTS filler.

Did you know that "Mrs. Robinson" is the #6 Greatest Song from a Movie according to AFI? Mrs. High Lord wasn't crazy about it, but it was better than Mike or Lee.

Getting the Pimp Spot (for individual performances) is CBX who picks a song from Caddyshack, which seems a little odd given the vast selection of great movie songs that are out there. However, given her personality, the selection seems to be a good one for her. The arrangement and performance are what Casey aspires to, but is still a couple of steps behind Crystal. I don't think it was great, but Crystal doesn't need to hit a homerun each week (or she might find herself eliminated like Melinda Doolittle). I think she's sandbagging either so she doesn't win or so when she gets to the finale, she will absolutely destroy whoever is across the stage from her.

I'm just happy no one did "Over the Rainbow".

Over on DWTS, Chad & Cheryl are in the bottom 2, while Evan & Anna are safe (duh!), as are Nicole & Derek (double duh!).

The last performance is Mike and Casey with a song from "Don Juan Demarco". This song was run into the ground back when the movie was popular. Blech. Casey starts out singing solo for about thirty seconds, then Mike gets his turn. Isn't this supposed to be duet? What the frak? Lee & Crystal had actual chemistry. Neither Mike nor Casey wants to come off as gay. Then the false rears its ugly head. As a song, it was okay. As a duet, it was awful. There was virtually no interaction between the singers. I'm not saying that they had sing it like Angel & Collins sing "I'll Cover You", but it wasn't as good as the judges said.

The Good
Crystal & Lee, "Falling Slowly"

The Bad
Crystal, "I'm Alright"
Casey, "Mrs. Robinson"
Casey & Mike, "Have You Ever Loved a Woman?"
Mike, "Will You Be There?"

The Ugly
Lee, "Kiss From a Rose"

As the Idol recap starts, Niecy & Louis just got whacked, which was nothing if not predictable. I'll miss the jiggly parts. Next week, it's sure to be Chad because the other three are clearly the best dancers that were on the show this season.

By tonight's performance alone, Lee should get sent packing, but I think it will unfold differently. I'm not going to pick a bottom 2, since that is half of the Idol field, but I think that Casey is on the chopping block this week. Lee could also be in play because he had to go first.

I think Mike has been handed too many votes with all of his face time and Crystal is simply too good to be eliminated Daughtry-style.

I guess we'll find out in about 24¾ hours.

High Lord. Out.

Wake me when it's 9:50

2010-05-05T21:38:00.002-04:00

Yes, the TV is on, but I'm not really watching the filler. What I know is that at 9:39, Lee is safe and the other four are awaiting their fate. Aaron needs to go. Casey will probably go. Crystal would probably be happy getting eliminated in the next two or three weeks.

I miss Siobhán.

In other news, my hunter is still level 64, but I'm over halfway to level 65 and I'm starting the Volume 3 book quests. Never mind that I haven't finished the Volume 1 and Volume 2 book quests . . .

As I mentioned before, Lee was declared safe, but when they called him to the stage, I was sure they were going to George someone, only with 5 singers instead of the usual 7.

Christina Hendricks. Yummy.

I read an interesting article that says Idol is no longer about finding a pop star but rather finding a way to market the singers as they are.

So who's up for Iron Man 2 at midnight tomorrow?

Mrs. High Lord is on the prowl for a new car. She's got a 2004 Honda CR-V that has 62K miles on it that's paid off. She'd like something that has four/all-wheel drive (for the 10 days a year when we'd need more than front wheel drive) or she'd like a hybrid (for the gas mileage). Her current dream car is the Honda Accord Crosstour 4WD, but it's at a higher price than she wants to pay.

I'd like a Prius or Insight, because I need some karmic offset to the horrendous gas mileage my car gets. We have occasion to transport kids on a reasonably regular basis, so she has ruled out a coupe or another sports car. Plus there are probably 15 days a year when we need to move a lot of stuff, which may include lumber, furniture and/or a table saw. Plus, when we go on a road trip, it would be nice to have something that is comfortable for an extended period of time (which my car is not).

We don't need a full-size SUV and I'd even be willing to consider something like a Sienna or Odyssey because they have a quieter ride and get better gas mileage.

I've got the local Toyota dealer calling me, but if anyone has another recommendation, let me know.

Back on Idol, Seacrest just put Crystal and Casey in one group, Mike and Aaron in the other and tried to get Lee to bite on the Georging trick. Luckily, he passed. I hate it when they pull that crap.

Mike and Aaron are the bottom 2, which is a little surprising. I thought for sure that Mike's elimination/save would have gotten him for votes, but maybe he's peaked. Aaron is the weakest singer/performer left and deserves to get whacked.

Seacrest is rushing because they're almost out of time.

Aaron gets whacked without much false suspense. Despite all of my bashing of him and his style, he didn't crack like other teenagers, which is a credit to his stage presence and resilience. I just think he would have done better if he'd waited (been prohibited from auditioning for) about two more years.

That leaves us with Casey, Crystal, Lee and Mike as our Top 4, which brings some drama to the finale.

Will Crystal tank so she isn't saddled with the creative stifling that comes with being the American Idol? Will Mike dare to venture out of the box Kara has stuck him in? After being exposed as an average vocalist, can Casey get some momentum back? Does Lee really deserve to have come this far or is he this season's Jasmine Trias?

I guess we'll find out over the next couple of weeks.

High Lord. Out.

It's John Stevens night

2010-05-04T19:53:00.008-04:00

Tonight's theme is Sinatra songs (how's that for themes that are current?), and the mentor is Harry Connick, Jr. Why isn't the theme for this week (and every other week), "Songs that are currently on the Billboard Hot 100" and the mentor Lady Gaga?

Or why isn't the theme, "Duets of songs that are currently on the Billboard Hot 100" or "The Karaoke Wheel of Death of songs that are currently on the Billboard Hot 100"? Or Better yet, why isn't the theme "Screw Your Buddy Night™"?

In any event, there are five singers left and we're not at the point where they're doing two songs each, so that means 7½ minutes of singing and 52½ minutes of filler, Seacrest, product placement and advertising.

Over on ABC, they're going to kick another celeb off; my money is on Pamela or Niecy; both have big boobs, both have struggled with the dancing and both have been in the bottom 2. Just don't put one of them next to a radiator and don't leave the other alone in a room with a bag of M&Ms (you decide which one is which).

The person I'd like to kick off is Grumpy Len because he has apparently made it his life's mission to be the biggest jackass he can be. I'm all for honesty and fair criticism, but he's being even more contrarian than usual and it's really starting to grate on me. Last night he whipped out his 10 paddle for Evan and Anna, giving them the first perfect 30 of the season. While I don't have a problem with Evan getting a perfect score, Nicole should have two of them by now . . . if not for Grumpy Len.

I appreciate that they want to keep things interesting (because everyone knows that the competition is Nicole's to lose) and that they have gone away from the slew of 30s that plagued the show several years ago, but for Nicole & Derek to have earned the same score as Erin and Maks (three points behind Evan & Anna) is criminal. I'd like for someone to pull the broom stick out of Len's bum and give out fair and consistent scores.

Meanwhile on Idol, we get a little bit of background on Harry, whom Mrs. High Lord thinks should win. I think some of the singers are going to struggle this week, and I wonder which of them will be left standing after a theme that is very different from most of their styles.

Leading off the show is Rachel Maddow (sorry to steal your nickname, Beckeye). Is Kara going to say that she doesn't know how he can relate to a song that is five times as old as he is? He seems flat for most of the song. He gets to croon, which is an unexpected strength. I'm sure his followers will only lurve him more. I'm meh on him, but it was probably better than I think it was. The judges, of course, patronise him because of his age.

Can Kara talk to anyone without sounding condescending? (The correct answer is "no", by the way.)

Next up is Casey who got a code B style makeover this week. He's ditches the guitar, a first(?) for this season. His voice is better than I thought it was going to be. It helps that Sinatra himself never had much range and relied more on his cool than on his actual talent. He and Maks apparently use the same razer. Mrs. High Lord would like to see him back in jeans. I just wish I had decided to watch this show no-filler because the judges are annoying the dickens out of me.

Over on ABC, Niecy was just declared safe after promising that she would get naked if that's what it takes to win.

We're thirty-three minutes into the show and there are still three singers left. CBX is next and it looks like they're going to have to rush through the end or it's going to run over (again). I think this is the first week when she has just featured a straight vocal; no guitar or piano, no stage-stunt like a diggery-doo. In a night of lackluster performances, she can afford to sandbag a little bit and still be the best of the evening.

All of the singers are struggling with the theme. Randy says Crystal was sleepy; Duh! It's the theme, stupid! Kara talks down to her, too. If they're going to have a big band night, it shouldn't be this late in the season.

I'm really excited about Iron Man 2; I'll be the one at the midnight show on Thursday night and sucking at work on Friday morning.

Big Mike is singing another song that fits him nicely in the box Kara has locked him in and then thrown away the key. If Simon doesn't call him sleepy, too, I'm going to be ticked off. Idol, please make next year's top 5 theme Screw Your Buddy Night™!!!!!! I'm seriously contemplating switching over to ABC to watch the DWTS elimination instead of this schlock. The judges slurp him, he wasn't as good as the tongue baths they gave him, but it was better than he's been in a while.

To avoid changing channels, let's talk about my hunter for a few minutes: I'm up to level 64 and should make level 65 by this weekend. Then I just need to find some partners to run the Grand Staircase and/or the Hall of Crafting to start collecting tokens for radiance gear. Then I think I'm going to head over to the Ettenmoors and Mirkwood before I wrap up some of the book quests. I also need to start finding rune balls I can use on level 61+ weapons because most of the ones that have dropped for me are only for level 50-60 legendary weapons.

I'm also going to start forging some level 65 legendary MHO weapons, but I need to find someone to make me a level 65 legendary bow. I also finally got my rep with the Galadhrim up to Kindred; now I just need a few thousand more points to get it up there with the Iron Garrison Guards . . .

Is anyone watching the show with Lieutenant Jones and Josh? It looks really stupid, but it might also be funny.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is Lee. If he's half as sleepy as he usually is, I think I'm going to have a narcoleptic fit. Harry says that Lee is a younger version of him . . . sure thing, Harry . . . maybe if you were 24 again and ate two small Cambodian children. It's sad when Lee is the most upbeat singer of the evening. He does a good job of not boring me to death, and for that I'm grateful.

Mrs. High Lord was distracted by Harry's organ, too. And she's not even a lesbian. I think. By the way, our anniversary is on Sunday. If you see her, ask how long we've been married. I'll bet she'll have to think about it for a minute.

The Good
Lee, "That's Life"
Mike, "The Way You Look Tonight"
Crystal, "Summer Wind"

The Bad
Casey, "Blue Skies"

The Ugly
Aaron, "Fly Me to the Moon"

Tonight the great enemy of the singers was the theme. None of them were outstanding, but the weaknesses of a couple were exposed.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Casey, Crystal
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Casey, Crystal

Who should go home: Aaron
Who will go home: Aaron

Casey could also be in play for elimination because Aaron has been getting all of the tween votes of the recently departed.

Over on DWTS, Pam & Damien just got eliminated, which has made Mrs. High Lord very, very happy. I'm sorry that the boobage quotient just dropped by four cup sizes.

Tomorrow night, we'll find out who get eliminated from Idol. Now I'm going to go see if I can get halfway up to level 65.

High Lord. Out.

No more typing ALT-0225

2010-04-28T21:56:00.002-04:00

Once again, let me reiterate my political platform.

1. You, the good people of the United States, will amend the Constitution so that persons where are not natural-born citizens can become president.

2. I will run for president and you will elect me to be your firm, but benevolent leader.

3. Using all of the legislative tools at my disposal, I will ramrod the following legislation through Congress: All reality show results shows will last no longer than 30 minutes, including commercial breaks.

4. I will sign that bill into law.

5. Immediately after the aforementioned law takes effect, I will abdicate office in favour of someone more qualified to be president.

There it is, my candidacy for presided under the banner of the Reasonable Results Show Time Limit Party.

Tonight's show featured a bottom 3 that was somewhat surprising: Casey, Mike, Siobhán.

That means that Aaron, Crystal, and Lee were safe. How 'bout this season as the season of the girls? I guess Randy really does know what he's talking about. ::eyeroll::

I can see how the five remaining singers are safe; some were handed a gazillion votes beginning in the audition rounds (Mike, Crystal, Casey). Aaron has been picking up votes from the recently-departed (Katie, Tim). Lee has been flying under the radar and might be one of the last standing as the other four knocked each other around (think Jasmine from season 3).

Siobhán's problem isn't a lack of talent, nor is it her song choice. It's that she has an odd (read: non-mainstream) style. As a result, people either really, really like her, or they really, really despise her. This meant she wasn't picking up new voters as the season has progressed. This is vital because--as we all know--American Idol isn't a talent competition, it's a popularity contest.

This makes picking up new voters imperative to staying on the show.

Mike and Aaron (plus to a lesser extent, Lee) have been doing this on a consistent basis by pandering for votes and sticking to the (small) comfort boxes the judges have carved out for them. Crystal and Casey may also find themselves in danger because they've stuck to their own creative instincts.

I think the voting trends are the singular reason why the winner hasn't generally gone on to great commercial success. While playing the game and winning show a base level of talent, it doesn't always mean that the powervoters are willing to buy hundreds of downloads/albums as they are willing to re-dial and re-text for four hours.

To me, Siobhán's screaming was annoying, but like some other singers in seasons past, I always wanted to know what she was going to do next.

What we're left with are five predictable singers who will each do what they do best. How will they finish?

A few weeks ago, I picked Casey to win, but I think Lee is making a quiet charge, Mike has benefited from massive face time and the scare that the save instilled in his followers and Aaron has been picking up votes left and right.

I'll have to cogitate for a while and re-order my top 5, but for now, I'll miss the originality that Siobhán brought to this season.

High Lord. Out.

In to the home stretch

2010-04-27T19:53:00.008-04:00

With six singers left, we've pretty much left all of the dead weight behind. Sure there are some people who probably shouldn't still be around (Aaron) while other singers left prematurely (Katie). Still, this crop isn't as bad as Idol's detractors would have you believe.

There's a nice article over at MSNBC which summarises what the rest of us know: Being the frontrunner at this point isn't always a good thing. Crystal is the prohibitive favourite at this point; if your options are her or the field, take her. That said, at this point in the show there have been others who we all thought were going to run away with this thing, only to see them ousted and another singer installed as the winner (Adam Lambert being the latest of these).

Look, right now each singer has a core of powervoters who will back their singer because Seacrest implores them to vote for their "favourite" (not the best). Each week, it's up to the remaining singers to grab as many of the most-recently voted off singer's powervoters. Whoever does this will win. If the fave can't, they'll go home (see Daughtry, Chris and Doolittle, Melinda).

I think if this were a pure talent competition, Crystal would be so far ahead of anyone else, they would call the show off and simply declare her the winner. Since it's not, I think it's very likely that she may have maxed out her voters (at least until Siobhán is eliminated). I just don't see any of the other singers's voters going to her.

Of course, that's great for her since she can then take control (financially and creatively) of her musical future.

While Seacrest yaps, let me geek out the blog for a minute. As you may or may not know, I've gotten in to Lord of the Rings Online, an MMORPG where you run around Middle Earth and try to thwart the plans of the Dark Lord Sauron. My main character is Kindelle, an elf hunter who is right now at level 63 (the level cap is 65). I just started out two other characters, a human captain and an elf minstrel. I figured that I should try a couple of different classes just to see what I like.

I'm also trying to figure out the right combination of legendary weapons; right now, I've got a reforged mace of the second age and a reforged bow of the second age with some legacies I'm not crazy about, but the bow is level 37 and the mace is level 34, so I hate to give them up before I start getting some level 65 weapon drops.

If there are any more LOTRO fans out there (besides our friend James), drop me a line if you're on Elendilmir. I just got to Mirkwood, so I need a tour guide.

This week's mentor is über-MILF Shania Twain, who is back for more Idol after making an appearance during the auditions. Three of the judges want to get into her pants. I guess in lieu of country we get a country/pop cross-over. The singers would be wise to listen to her advice (assuming she's on the show for more than the paycheck . . . cough . . . Gwen Stefani . . . cough . . .).

First up is Lee who is singing a song I'm not crazy about (probably because it was played on the radio seven times an hour back when it was just released). He does his usual Lee-with-a-guitar thing. Why don't the judges bash him for doing the same thing each week, like they do to Casey. I still don't completely buy Lee as a performer and this week he did nothing to improve my opinion of him. Boring. The judges slurp him ("One of the greatest songs of all time"? Really, Randy? WTF are you smoking?). This is his second appearance in the Dead Man's Spot but I don't think it will land him in the bottom 3.

Over on ABC, Melissa Etheridge also wants to get into Shania's pants. Maks is almost shirtless, which makes both Mrs. High Lord and our friend Jennifer jealous. If I were a woman, I'd go gay for Melissa. Plus, she can rock. I think Pam will be going home tonight; two consecutive weeks it the bottom two do not bode well. I find her annoying and Mrs. High Lord doesn't like the way she's always preening for the camera.

Next up is Big Mike, who has gone all John Mayer on us (without the incessant tweeting and kiss-and-tell about Jennifer Anniston). He's the guy with the guitar at the party who has all the girls around him (until Bluto smashes the guitar). I think Mike is overrated, but I can see why people are voting for him. I just don't know that if he wins, his voters will buy is singles/albums/downloads (ie-Ruben). His voice has a good tone, but I wish he'd stay away from ballads. And the false. Do they have so much extra time tonight that they can go to a fifth judge? Or is that just to hand Mike a couple hundred thousand extra votes?

I also wish the camera guy who has the tough job of watching Shania Twain all night could keep the camera still. Hey, get your other hand out of your pants!

Back on DWTS, the flamenco dancers are hawt.

Is it just me or is Len grumpier than usual? (The correct answer is "yes"). I know that's kind of his schtick (like it is for Simon and Piers on their shows), but the stick seems to be a little further up his bum than usual.

Wrapping up the first half of the show is Casey who is sitting on a stool and playing his guitar. [sarcastic voice=on]Way to change things up![/sarcastic voice]. He goes the ballad route instead of with the rockabilly routine. As much as I hate all the ballads they do on this show, I understand why many of the guys are doing them; it's hard to do a woman's songs that are as recognisable as Shania and come across as a believable guy. I didn't think it was bad, but it was good; at least better than Lee's bleating and Mike's sappy songs that his wife likes. Casey knows that as a vocalist, he's middle of the pack (at best) and has to cover it with a good performance and his good looks.

Mrs. High Lord has the remote and she just flipped to my second favourite Melissa Etheridge songs, "Come To My Window", which also features a barely-dressed Edyta (is there any other kind?). In case you're wondering (and I know you are), my favourite Melissa song is "I Want to Be in Love", the video for which features the always-yummy Jennifer Anniston.

Look, it's the first ad for SYTYCD. I know our friend Kristi is happy.

Next up is CBX. I like this song; it's one of Shania's early songs before they all started sounding overproduced. I like the faux-bluegrass sound of this arrangement; it's not for everyone, but it's different. I think right now, Crystal could whip out a flash-frozen salmon and slap everyone on the judges panel with it, and they'd still slurp her. She's just that good. This was my favourite performance of Crystal's, but it was still the best of the night so far.

Crystal's boyfriend is waiting until she makes more money before he pops the question.

Is this an hour of ballads or not? Aaron is also right in his comfort zone, which will please his tweenie fans, but makes me cringe. Is Kara going to tell him that she didn't believe his performance because he's too young to be in love? Like Lee, I thought it to be vapid and boring. Pitchy in spots, too. And he can't keep his eyes open. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I thought he was the worst of the night (so far).

This leaves Siobhán to pick up her second Pimp Spot in five weeks. In case you hadn't heard, she's now the pick for Vote For the Worst, which I clearly disagree with (it should be Aaron). They're running long because Seacrest is rushing. And Siobhán starts off flat. At least it's not a ballad. My great aunt Mathilda is wondering what happened to the throw pillows on her couch . . . Aunt Matty, Siobhán stole them! The song stars slow, but it picks up at the end, just in time for the screaming. I thought it was aiiiiiiiiight, but not worth the pimpage.

The Good
no one tonight

The Bad
Crystal, "No One Needs to Know"
Casey, "Don't"
Siobhán, "Any Man of Mine"
Mike, "It Only Hurts When I Breathe"
Lee, "Still the One"

The Ugly
Aaron, "You've Got a Way"

I wish they had gone with the broader theme of country rather than Shania Twain songs. I think the singers were undone by a very stylised singer that limited them creatively and vocally.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Lee, Mike
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Casey, Lee

Who should be in the eliminated: Aaron
Who will be eliminated: Aaron

Casey is also in the mix, but I don't think he'll be eliminated. Since this was her weakest performance of the season, I think Crystal might also make a bottom 3 appearance, but this is about two weeks to early to predict a "shocker".

Over on DWTS, more dead weight was released as Jake got his walking papers. No shock there. Let me know when Nicole wins.

High Lord. Out.

The long and winding road

2010-04-21T21:42:00.002-04:00

I know it's not Beatles night, but the two hour monstrosity that is Idol Gives Back is dragging. At least they're actually kicking someone off the show.

Plus, they're not going to George anyone (one of the classless stunts they pull every year).

I'm happy to see so many alums on the show and I could do without all of the other "talent".

So far, the bottom 3 are Aaron, Casey and Tim.

Crystal and Lee were declared safe early on (duh!), then Siobhán was sent to the couches. There was some manufactured drama about whether the third part of the bottom troika was Tim or Mike, but Big Mike's voters have been working overtime since he was brought back by way of the save. I think that will carry him until at least the Top 5.

Based on last night alone, Casey should probably be going home, but I don't think it will be him. My guess is for Aaron, but then again, he could also have picked up all of Katie's voters, which would leave Tim as the guy left standing.

Just for the record, let me remind you that I'm 3 for 3 when calling the bottom 3.

As we wait out the last 13+ minutes of the show, I'd like to brag a little bit about my new computer. It's a beast! Liquid-cooled, 9 GB of RAM, quad-core, SLI-capable glowing-red not-quite positronic madness.

On my laptop, LOTRO looks okay, but now I see things like water and fire and orcs at the edge of the map that I never saw before. If only it could level up my legendary weapons faster, too!

Mrs. High Lord is happy Kate got whacked from DWTS, although we both agree that there are some others we wouldn't have minded seeing eliminated before her. We both think that unless Nicole blows out her ACL or bites the head off a pigeon on stage, she's going to win.

In that way, by Nicole and Crystal are the classes of their respective shows. I was just hoping that things might get competitive, but it looks like both shows probably won't.

It's now 5 after 10 and they haven't kicked anyone off. I'm sure the people at the local Fox affiliate WVAH are steaming. Serves them right for all those years that they pre-empted Idol for meaningless UK basketball games.

Okay, it's 16 minutes after 10 and Idol is about to eliminated one of the guys. After a commercial break, of course.

Seacrest saves Aaron, which I think (hope) means Tim will finally get whacked, with not chance of being saved.

Because they've already run 22 minutes over, Seacrest doesn't draw things out too long, then give Tim the swift kick in the backside. Considering that he's been living on borrowed time, he's had a remarkably strong showing. Certainly better than Nikko Smith. After his good-bye video, he doesn't even get to sing.

Next week, I think it will be Aaron shown the door, then all bets are off.

I'm going to go see if I can get my hunter up to level 62.

High Lord. Out.

How much more of Seacrest's yapping do we have to endure?

2010-04-20T19:47:00.009-04:00

Every year, it's easy to bash Idol. It seems that there is always a group of people willing to say that the show has jumped the shark and this is the worst season ever.

I try to ignore most of it because the fact of the matter is that the show turns out a remarkably consistent (if predictable) product. This season, the detractors have much more ammunition: Paula left, Ellen came on board and Simon is leaving for greener (?) pastures.

That means next year, the only constants will be Randy and Seacrest. Guess which of them is the more expendable. MSNBC says the show has become all about Seacrest and that he's the problem.

I hardly disagree with either statement, as for the past several seasons, the show has seemed to hinge more on the judges's inane banter than the actual singing and that Seacrest runs his yap too much, unlike other hosts like Tom Bergeron who keep things moving and the emphasis on the talent.

Seacrest has become ubiquitous throughout media, hosting a TV show, his radio program and seeming to be everywhere at all times. I think he wants to be the next Dick Clark, only he's much more annoying and has a better stylist.

It used to be that Seacrest was the singers's friend; he was there to console them after a bad performance, he talked back to Simon when they were too scared to do so themselves, and he stood by to celebrate the good times. Now, he's part of the spectacle. He grills the singers and the judges. He talks too much, stifling the action, not providing a segue from one performance to the next.

I wish he'd either take a double dose of humility pills or just go away.

Lucky for us, Glee is back, which means Idol is only an hour. That's right, 10 minutes, 30 seconds of singing, 48½ minutes of Seacrest, the judges's yappage, product placement and advertising.

Before show starts, let me say that I'd like to see Kate go home tonight on DWTS, but I don't think we'll be that fortunate. At leasts she didn't cry during her pre-dance montage. I'm dismayed that DWTS has gone the Idol route an introduced themes; why can't the theme be the dances? A couple of weeks ago, it was "story" night and last night they had to interpret movies. WTF? Just dance a tango. Or quickstep. Or cha-cha.

Nicole returned to top-form, although grumpy Len denied her the perfect 30 she deserved. Everyone else is fighting for scraps, although I think Erin is coming on strong. Maybe Maks has learned a thing or two about choreography. It helps that Julianne and defending champ Kym aren't on this season and the other two-time champ (Cheryl) got stuck with a guy who has two left feet. I don't think they're going to win, but they could make a strong run at Evan and Anna for second place.

Casey gets the Dead Man's Spot and his "inspirational" song is some Fleetwood Mac. As with all of his performances, it's solidly in his comfort box. This song really needs to have the USC marching band. I'm not wowed, but it's not bad either. Randy calls him out and he's right. I'm not saying that he needs to show up with a sitar, but he's got to try a different tack every now and then.

Getting the random sit-down interview is Lee who no longer has the opportunity to make Danny Gokey babies with Andrew (at least until the tour starts). I don't know why I don't like him. Mrs. High Lord says it's because his eyes always look "sad" and that he's not a very exciting guy. I think he's better than I give him credit, but I can't remember a performance of his that I'd even think about paying money for. His version of "The Boxer" is too slow. The swaying is about to put me asleep. Like Casey, he's a big "meh" for me. Maybe he just needs to smile more.

Borrowed Time probably should have gone home last week, but no, he's still around to torture Mrs. High Lord. If Andrew Lloyd Webber were on again this year, he'd tell Tim the same thing he told The Arch: Open your eyes. I kind of like him tonight, although that could be more a reflection of the competition than how well he actually did.

I wonder about the theme and how deep the song book is this week. I just don't find many "inspirational" songs to be very up-tempo and exciting. Can't we all agree that the most inspirational song to be on the show is "A Moment Like This"?

The big beneficiary of GHA's ouster is Aaron who is trying on a child molester's song. This could either be good or a near biblical disaster (if you don't mind a little hyperbole). I'm leaning towards the latter. Did you know he's only 16? The song is too big for him, although it doesn't get as far out of control as I had feared. At least he's witty enough to make a pre-school graduation joke.

This afternoon, my new computer arrived. It's an Alienware computer I bought from Dell's outlet website.

Mrs. High Lord doesn't think she's going to see me for weeks.

Siobhán is breaking two-thirds of Idol's Cardinal Rule #1 (to the right). This is the first truly "inspirational" song of the night. Frankly, I preferred the Michelle Pfeiffer and Sally Dworsky version in the movie to the Whitney/Mariah radio recording. Siobhán does a perfectly serviceable job and doesn't resort to screaming in an uncontrolled way. The judges undeservedly pan her. The butterflies are a bit odd. Here's a better version.

Borrowed Time 2.0 (aka Big Mike) is rocking the white Members Only jacket, at least before he has to play the guitar. What happened to the days of a singer taking the stage by themselves? Why does everyone have a string section, back-up singers and a diggery doo? Mike is okay, although I don't think the judges should have saved him. This week, he's the best of the night (so far), although that's not saying a lot.

Switching places from last week (when she went first and Casey went last), CBX tries two new things: no instrument and a dress that shows off the girls (not a complaint about either). This makes her second Pimp Spot of the season, and she's the only singer of this crop that I would pay money to hear. This is #24 on the list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time (as of 2004). This performance single-handedly destroyed the six remaining singers.

Last week, there was talk that she was thinking about withdrawing, but Seacrest talked her out of it, but now that might have been a hoax [sarcastic voice=on]Noooooooooooo!!!![/sarcastic voice]

The Good
Crystal, "People Get Ready"

The Bad
Mike, "Hero"
Tim, "Better Days"
Siobhán, "When You Believe"
Lee, "The Boxer"
Aaron, "I Believe I Can Fly"
Casey, "Don't Stop Thinking About Tomorrow"

The Ugly
no one tonight

I think a lackluster performance could possibly land Casey in the bottom 3, although I don't think he'll be going home tomorrow night. In fact, I don't think anyone is going home tomorrow; if they follow past patterns, they'll save everyone tomorrow and then eliminate two people next week. After all, it's kind of crappy to kick someone off on "inspirational" song night. Plus, it will give more people a reason to tune in next week.

By the way, my hunter is up to level 61. Once I get to the level cap (65), I'm going to do a bunch of reputation quests and then start leveling up my captain (currently level 11).

There were some singers who weren't great and probably deserved to be grouped into "The Ugly", but I'm feeling unusually magnanimous tonight. Just don't let me watch the recording of the show, or I'll probably downgrade about four of the singers. At this point in the season, I think most of the awful singers are gone, but that doesn't mean that everyone is good.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Casey, Lee
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Casey, Tim

Who should go home: Tim
Who will go home: Aaron

Tomorrow is Idol's big self-important show. Surprisingly, this is the first time this season that Idol has gone long. I'm going to go finish formatting my new computer.

High Lord. Out.

What happened to this being the girls's year?

2010-04-14T22:18:00.002-04:00

Wasn't that the proclamation of Randy and/or Kara at the beginning of this season?

For a field of girls that was supposedly stronger than the guys, you wouldn't know it by looking at the people left standing right now. Partially to blame is the Top 24 format that guarantees gender-equity in the Top 12 rather than the (vastly superior) Wild Card rounds.

Another factor at work is that I think tweenie girls--whose unlimited texting plans drive the Idol voting--tend to vote for guys, hence the triumphs of David Cook and Kris Allen the last two years. Yes, I know Jordin won before them, but it's only been in the last couple of years that I think text voting has eclipsed phone voting (and has made DialIdol irrelevant).

With the judges using their save on Big Mike, it was Andrew and (surprise!) Katie left standing when the music stopped.

Andrew's elimination was expected by everyone except his mother. I appreciate that Seacrest didn't mess around with him and just gave him the bad news straight up (as they say). I'm also very relieved that TPTB haven't pulled the classless Judd Harris move since season 4.

I wasn't shocked, but I thought Katie was going to last a few more weeks rather than get kicked off tonight. That she was in the bottom 3 two weeks in a row should have been a hint that she didn't have a large following, but I don't think she was splitting votes with any other singer. In her, I'm relieved that Idol didn't break her as it has done to other 17 year old kids.

It is my ultimate belief that both Katie and Andrew were undone by the judges, specifically Kara. They want to put singers in nice little boxes and not let them out. You heard it last night as they were giving their "feedback" to Siobhán. All four of the judges, Simon and Kara in particular, start off with a preconceived notion of what each singer should sound like in a given theme and is disappointed when they try something new.

Siobhán had the best line when she said something to the effect of, "I don't try to limit myself to a category, I just like to sing."

Way to give Kara the big eff-off in front of 30 million people!

The judges (and by extension the audience) would not let Andrew get away from "Straight Up" in Hollywood. Mixed messages didn't help. When he tried something new, they were disappointed, and when he tried the same thing, they said he wasn't expanding his horizons. They did the same thing to Katie and in the end, it hurt them both.

At the same time, neither did themselves any favours with some of the song selection. Andrew in particular was running scared for the last three weeks instead of just pulling a Siobhán and going out there to sing.

Make no mistake, neither Andrew nor Katie ever had a real chance at winning. However, they should have outlasted some of the people who are still around (Tim and Aaron, I'm talking to you!). I think both will come out of this in good shape. Andrew, like Paige, might do better now that the pressure of Idol is off of him.

After she finishes high school (and go to prom without a date since obviously no one texted/called enough to keep her around), Katie might have a bright future in the business. She just needs to make sure that she doesn't take any advice from Kara.

Next week is the big Idol self-congratulatory help-the-world event, followed by someone being Georged.

Then we'll get down to business and find out who is going to win this thing.

I'm going to either watch V on the DVR or a Bourne movie on TNT.

High Lord. Out.

Save me! Please!

2010-04-13T20:05:00.004-04:00

As I've mentioned before, this season of Idol and DWTS has been mostly uninspiring for me. I find the talent to be sub-par, the false drama more contrived than usual and the focus of the show has been taken away from the singers and focused more on the host and judges. Let's hope the show either gets back to its roots or dies a quick death.

I read an interesting piece on the judges save which said that the cost of saving Big Mike might be high. Of course it's high; everyone is in danger once again. And that's the way the show should be.

Each season, there is someone who is voted off seemingly before their time. Whether it was J-Hud, LaToya London or Chris Daughtry, the show at least had some danger to it. When one of the faves landed in the bottom 3, it only motivated their powervoters to work over time the next week. The save eliminated that, at least temporarily.

To me, Mike's loss to the show would not have been catastrophic. Let's face it: he's not going to win. But he's received a massive amount of face time and carried the early mantle of TCO. His style is too narrow and "America" has shown a reticence to brown people winning of late. He has a tremendously loyal bloc of fans (due in large part to the face time), yet I don't think he's picking up new voters (hence last week's elimination). Vocally he's in the aiiiiiiight category and doesn't show a lot of range.

Still, the judges had no choice but to save him. He's too valuable to the show to let go this early.

Speaking of casting, I think that's part of the reason why I'm tiring of the show. It seems that when the top 24/36 is picked, they're not really picking the best vocalists (like they used to). Rather, they're picking types: black girl with a big voice. Wide-eyed teenage boy. Cute blonde girl. "Rocker" guy. This season seemed to have a couple of everybody, and as a result, the crop was mostly mediocre.

Idol seems to have forgotten that its stated mission is to find the next popular music star. Not a rocker. Not a balladeer. Not a Janis Joplin wannabe. Not a country artist.

Pop star. Like Kelly Clarkson was.

In picking types and forcing the singers into themes that are ill-suited to modern radio (big band week, anyone?), they're ensuring the winner might do a bunch of different things well, but doesn't excel at any of them. It is any wonder then that so many of the Idols have essentially disappeared from mainstream radio?

To remedy this, I propose the following:

1. Limit the banter of the judges to actual constructive criticism.

2. Do away with the themes and guest artists who just want to shill their latest album.

3. More singing, less filler. That means all of the singing shows are no more than 90 minutes and all of the results shows stop after half an hour.

4. Replace Seacrest with a host who isn't so narcissistic that he/she thinks the show is all about them.

5. Open up the checkbook and make a rule that no songs will be used that were first released before 2000 (ten years ago).

This will make the singers current, it will maximise their exposure and it will do away with the silliness that has enveloped the show and made it less about the talent and more about selling commercials, product placement and other ancillary brands.

Of course, this will never happen, but we can dream, right?

Last week's theme was the Beatles and this week it's Elvis. Great, two artists who haven't had a live hit in 40 and 33 years respectively. Yeah, Idol, that's a way to stay modern.

Before anyone forgets, let me remind you that Elvis week was when Chris Daughtry got eliminated in one of the genuine "shockers" (which I will also remind you, I correctly predicted).

Two people are going home this week, and I can only hope that this is the week Aaron and Tim get sent packing.

I'm watching the show no-filler, which means that it's 8:23 and I've hit the pause button on the DVR. Idol was originally scheduled for 1 hour with Glee on at 9:00, but with the save, they couldn't eliminate 90 seconds of filler to accommodate the extra performance, so they added 30 minutes to the entire show. Yech.

The "mentor" this week is last season's runner-up, Adam Lambert. Katie needs to be reminded that he doesn't like girls.

Leading off the show is CBX, who is one of the others the judges would have saved. I don't think she's in danger, but who knows? She goes deep into the Elvis songbook for a nice, Bonnie Raitt-ish rendition of "Saved". I'd pay money to see her in concert. I'm not a big fan of blues or roadhouse music, but as usual, Crystal turns in a good solid performance that should have been saved for last. Was that Sheryl Crow in the "friends and family" seats? My only nitpick for Crystal is that she need some dental work done.

Next up is Neck Tattoo, whom the judges would not have used the save. He changes the arrangement and slows it down a little. I'm not a fan of this song, but I like that Andrew is trying something new with it. It doesn't really work for me. Simon told Crystal the liked that she didn't pick an "obvious" Elvis song and that she didn't just do a karaoke version. Andrew does both. I think he's fallen into the same trap that Paige did. About two weeks ago, she was on Letterman sitting in the with the band and she sounded good. It was as if the weight of the world was lifted from her shoulder and she was free to sing. Andrew still has that feel. I think he's scared and going too safe. It doesn't help him that the judges (and as a result the audience) won't let go of "Straight Up". It wasn't as bad as Randy, Kara and Simon said, but nor was it great.

I like Andrew's mom more than Seacrest's. The girl sitting next to Mama Seacrest is smokin' hawt, though.

Mrs. High Lord is willing to pay a large sum of money for Tim to be eliminated tomorrow. This is another "obvious" Elvis song and it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be. He does a good job in pandering to the tweenie voters who are keeping him around. Who was Seacrest dancing with? And WTF is up with the false? It doesn't work for him. He should have taken Adam's advice on the ending. Mrs. High Lord says that the judges are all praising him because they're drinking the kool aid and realise that the only way to get him kicked off is to go the reverse psychology route.

The article I linked to above thinks that Lee has a shot a winning, but I don't. I don't understand why he's still around. He's singing the song that got Daughtry eliminated. I don't think his voice is a good as everyone else and I find him to be boring and flat. I simply don't think he has the charisma to be the "American Idol". That said, he turns in a respectable, if a little forgettable, performance.

Aaron, in case you didn't know, is only 16 years old and he makes Adam feel dirty. This is another bad karaoke version. He should have dressed up like the King because he comes off as a bad (underage) Elvis impersonator. I practically have to beg Mrs. High Lord to FF through the performance.

It seems that Mrs. High Lord and I are watching a different show than the three judges to the right of Simon.

We still haven't caught up with the show in real time, which is good. Siobhán is next and I can only wonder if the shrieking will return (I hope not). Someone call the Idol stylist and tell them that Siobhán should not be allowed to dress like Sheena Easton any more. I know the Idols were in Vegas, but that doesn't mean they had to stop by the Las Vegas Hilton to raid the wardrobe. It's too slow, but the vocals are very good, at least until the inevitable shouting at the end. The judges like the shouting, but I don't. I just want to hear her sing, which is good when she's not going over the top. I like that Siobhán says that she just loves to sing, which is what the show needs, not Kara trying to fit everyone into her convenient little boxes.

Kara's mouth is moving, but I can't understand the words she's saying. They're nonsensical and inane. I wish we could vote her off.

Seacrest's Dunkleman joke was just plain bad.

Like Tim, Big Mike is now officially on borrowed time. The arrangement is too slow, but at least it's not a straight cover. His pained, gospel-singer faces need to go. As does the false. Someone wake me when it's over. At least he doesn't end with a big money note.

After the best performance of last week, GHA once again makes my friend Mike (and Ellen) feel dirty by looking at her. I think she has finally realised that there is no point in playing things safe and has decided to go all-in every week. The two trips to the bottom 2 seem to have lit a fired under her and I like it. She's neither the most talented performer, nor the best entertainer, nor the best vocalist, but I think she really wants to win.

Over on ABC, Edyta and Aiden were whacked from DWTS. Mrs. High Lord can't stand Edyta because she makes the dances about her, not the celeb, which is the strong suit of Derek, Julianne and Cheryl. I thought Jake or Kate would get the axe this week, but I can't complain about Aiden's ouster. Since everyone knows that the show is Derek & Nicole's to lose, the order of elimination is the only thing in question, and that makes for a boring show.

Mrs. High Lord and I have finally caught up with the show live, just in time for Casey, who gets his first Pimp Spot of the season. As with all of his other performances, he doesn't venture out of his box, which plays well to his fans, but I don't think will be getting him any new voters. Like Crystal, I think he knows exactly what kind of performer he is and is using the show as a personal audition for his big payday after the tour rather than actually trying to win.

The Good
Crystal, "Saved"

The Bad
Casey, "Lawdy Miss Clawdy"
Lee, "A Little Less Conversation"
Katie, "Baby, What Do You Want Me to Do?"
Siobhán, "Suspicious Minds"
Andrew, "Hound Dog"
Mike, "In the Ghetto"

The Ugly
Tim, "Can't Help Falling in Love"
Aaron, "Blue Suede Shoes"

As usual, Crystal turns in the best performance of the night, something that shouldn't surprise us. Mrs. High Lord wants some combination of Aaron, Andrew, Lee and Tim eliminated, but I told her that won't happen any sooner than 3 weeks from now.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Mike, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Andrew, Tim

Who should go home: Aaron, Tim
Who will go home: Andrew, Aaron

The girls are going to be safe for another three weeks or so. Until then, it's the guys who will be splitting votes and getting elminated.

Tomorrow, I think I'm going to be running the Grand Staircase with some buddies, so if you're on Elendilmir, look me up (Kindelle, level 59 elf hunter, almost level 60). I'll be watching the show so check back after the eliminations.

High Lord. Out.

EDIT: I forgot that two people were being eliminated, so I added a second person to the should/will go home lists. I think Tim will outlast Aaron with the tweenie voters, but I also think it's a given that Andrew will be on the chopping block.

The Judges's Save rears its ugly head

2010-04-07T22:03:00.003-04:00

Okay, so here's the quick recap of tonight's show:

All the girls are safe.
Casey, Lee and Tim are not the bottom 3.
Aaron, Andrew and Mike are.
Big Mike was the lowest vote-getter. That was a surprise.
The judges used their save on him (unanimously). That was not a surprise.

As much as I hate the save, I think everyone and their brother knew that the judges would save Mike. The others they might have used it on this season are Crystal, Casey and maybe Siobhán.

Did "America" get the vote right this week? Of course not. Tim and Aaron were both safe, which was a travesty. I think they, along with Andrew and Lee, should probably be eliminated ahead of Mike. The other thing this does is supremely motivates his powervoters to work overtime so this doesn't happen again.

Do I think Mike is going to win? Probably not. He's loveable (big teddy bear) like Rueben, only he doesn't have Mr. 205's big voice. And "America" has proven this season that we hate brown people. That's why I think Andrew will get whacked ahead of Tim and Aaron.

In other news, I had to mute the TV while Archuleta was on because I can't stand the sound of him breathing. Or his stupid frakking giggle.

These hour-long results shows are killing me. I wish they'd go back to the half-hour format instead of bombarding us with filler. I did get half of a book read, though.

With the judges invoking their save (which I might remind you, Hitler hates, too), that means two people are going to get whacked next week. My money is on Tim, Aaron and possibly Katie, because I think their fanbases seem to be the weakest.

Mrs. High Lord is happy they saved Mike, and if it should have been used on anyone, the big guy is not a bad candidate. I just wonder if we're ready for a double elimination next week.

Anyhoo . . . I'm off to try and get my hunter up to level 59.

High Lord. Out.

Yawn

2010-04-06T19:40:00.015-04:00

Yup, that was me. Both DWTS and Idol are turning out to be snoozers this season. I don't know what's wrong with both shows, but the lack of competition is affecting viewership.

For DWTS, the competition is clearly Nicole's to lose. Everyone else is fighting for scraps. I think Derek is purposely ticking off Len (is he being told to by TPTB?) just to make it look like he and Nicole aren't running away with the thing.

As always, there are celebs on the show who are just taking up space, but this "season" there just seem to be more of them. Kate, Aiden and Jake are not good. Buzz is simply awful; in years past, the "sentimental favourite" has at least had a little bit of talent. I'm not anti-Buzz, but there's no way an 80 year old guy should be on a dancing show.

Erin, Chad, Niecy and Pam are the third tier, but none of them realistically has a chance at winning. The sole occupant of the second tier is Evan, and even he is three steps behind Nicole. Although the ratings don't show it, DWTS is pretty much set. Only the order in which people lose to Nicole is in question.

Have I mentioned that I don't like grumpy Len?

As far as Idol goes, there simply isn't a lot of talent on the show. The middle of the pack is good, but not great. The top of the heap is occupied by a couple of clear front-runners. The only saving grace is a couple of wild cards who could make a late charge if Crystal doesn't slam the door on them.

In other news, how 'bout that basketball game last night? I'm not a basketball fan (short Asian man), but I appreciate competition. It strikes me as odd that the NCAA goes to great length to promote mid-majors in the basketball tournament (Butler, George Mason, Gonzaga), but denies them a chance to play for the big on in football. I also find it odd that they're looking to expand the basketball tournament from 65 teams to 96 solely for the sake of a larger TV contract, but won't scrap the bowl system for a playoff.

If I were going to sue the NCAA/BCS, this would be the first thing I brought up. After all, if a little bit of Cinderella magic is good for basketball, it can only be great for football, right?

(The correct answer is "yes", by the way)

The theme for tonight is the Lennon/McCartney songbook, which has seen some of the best performances to be on Idol (Brooke's "Let It Be") and some of the worst (KLC's "Eight Days a Week"). There are 9 singers left and no "Stacked" to follow the show, which means that there will be 13½ minutes of singing and 106½ minutes of filler.

Sir Paul appears in the opening montage; I guess he was too busy to stop by and be an actual mentor.

More filler.

Yawn. Again.

Aaron leads off the show in the Dead Man's Spot. Does he even know who John Lennon was? The other singers call him "Yoda"? WTF? He's not 900 years old, short and green. I heard he is going to sing "The Long and Winding Road" and preemptively went to sleep. Vocally it's okay, but if you're going to go first, do it with a good song ("Hello, Good-bye") not with something that you'd hear in an elevator. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a fan. The performance was adequate, but safe and boring. It might land him in the bottom 3.

Are they going in reverse age order?

Going second is GHA who is trying to settle on a prom date. Her pandering for votes is actually funny. She's the little sister of the group. Duh. She picked Brooke's song which could be good. Or it could be awful. There's not much in between. She doesn't mess too much with the arrangement, which is good. She hits most of the notes, which is also good. It's also very, very slow, which is bad. I think she'll get good reviews. I like that she didn't mess with the song, but also didn't sound just like a straight cover. It seems that she took Simon's advice straight up.

I really dislike the backstage interviews. I can't wait until next week when the show cuts down to an hour.

Wrapping up the first third of the show is Neck Tattoo. Was he wearing a Snuggie? He's going for the unintentional pompadour, only less well than Adam. It's not great, but it's better than I expected. He sounds the same every week, which like Crystal, is a good thing. He needs to shave. Where's his mom? Randy calls it corny, which is spot on, because the song is corny to begin with. He also calls it "pop"; isn't that the point of this show? Kara is a stick in the mud.

Big Mike bats clean-up tonight. As usual, he starts out in "the false" but then settles down. This is one of my least favourite Beatles songs, but he's pretty good. This doesn't make me like the song any more, but I like the strings on stage. I also like that he avoids over-singing when the song gets big. He has good vocal control, which only makes me dread the upcoming Siobhán screech.

In retrospect, after hearing almost half of the singers, I'm elevating Katie to "The Good" for the night.

Over on ABC, it's elimination time. My money is on Kate to get whacked. Buzz is clearly the worst dancer, but only people who hate national heroes would vote against the second guy to walk on the moon.

Jake & Chelsea, Kate & Tony, Buzz & Ashly are all in danger. Any of these three couples could be eliminated and I'd be happy. Buzz & Ashly are put into the bottom 2. So are Jake & Chelsea. That means Kate & Tony are safe. (Boo!!!!)

Tom eschews a commercial break and immediately sends Buzz & Ashly home. I think everyone saw this coming. If not this week, then next.

Marking the halfway point of the show is CBX and her dreads. We're reminding that she's a single mom who has taken the rest of the singers under her wing. Awwwwwww. Last week, she left the black outfit behind, and went red (good). This week, she goes back to black and jeans (bad). I don't know that I'd have picked this song if I were her. She rocks it as usual, and that marks her as the most consistent performer of the season. Crystal reminds me a lot of Bo (in the good way). It only makes me wonder how amazing he and Chris Daughtry would have been had they been allowed to play their instruments. She does flub the lyrics (which no one calls her on), but recovers nicely. It wasn't my favourite of her performances, but it was solid and she'll coast into next week.

It's 9:14 and I can't believe they're going to string out the final four singers into 46 minutes. Blech. If this keeps up, I'm going to watch the show no-filler from her on out.

Mrs. High Lord sayd Borrowed Time still needs a haircut. I think he needs to go home. I wonder if he has a Matt Giraud-like third eye on his forehead, which is why he has that goofy haircut; at least it's appropriate for the Mopheads. Like a lot of the early Beatles stuff, this song has the boy-band pop sound that was prevalent in the early 60s. Tim doesn't do much with the song. His legions of fans will powervote for him, but I wish they wouldn't. This week, he wasn't awful (for a change) but he wasn't good, either.

It always interests me when they go to the Beatles songbook. Do the singers pick songs from the early years that are more pop or do they go to the more experimental work or the later, more introspective songs?

Angel and the girl from Bones are on to promote their own show. And look! There's Lacey!

We're two thirds of the way through the field and Casey is wearing a nice white suit. Like Andrew, he needs to shave. I wonder if they can put any less product in his hair. He's got a guitar, but the twist is that it's an acoustic guitar. He goes deep into the Lennon songbook, which means that he can't be criticised for butchering a well-known Beatles tune. I'll bet Simon calls it indulgent. Casey is never the best vocalist, but like Crystal, he turns in a consistent performance every week and sounds the same (in the good way).

I hope Siobhán can recover from a disastrous performance last week because I really like her (when she's not screeching). I hope she just sings this week because as Simon said last week, the scream has just gotten boring. The other singers think she's weird, which shouldn't surprise us; she's a glassblowing apprentice, after all. She follows in the footsteps of Michael Johns and I'm hopeful that we won't have to endure a scream. At the beginning, she's drowned out by the piano (or is it just the dishwasher that Mrs. High Lord started a few minutes ago?). She reaches for a few notes at the end, but keeps it under control, which is refreshing. There were a few pitch problems, but overall, it was an "unexpected" performance, and that is a good thing.

Randy and Ellen say largely complimentary things; Kara wants to put Siobhán in a nice, convenient box and just needs to shut up.

Taking his second Pimp Spot of the season is Lee. He doesn't mess with the song too much, although I wonder if he can top himself from last week. This is one of those Beatles songs that I don't understand, but hey, lots of people like it. I thought it was a big aiiiiiiiiight. Full disclosure: I'm not a Lee fan; it's not that I dislike him, but I just don't see his charm, either. I'm also wondering where the hell the guy with the bagpipes came from. Did you know that you can learn to play the bagpipes in LOTRO? That and the Moor Cowbell. Too bad I've got a hunter that can only learn the clarinet and the lute.

The Good
Katie, "Let It Be"

The Bad
Crystal, "Come Together"
Casey, "Jealous Guy"
Siobhán, "Across the Universe"
Andrew, "Can't Buy Me Love"
Mike, "Eleanor Rigby"
Lee, "Hey Jude"
Aaron, "The Long and Winding Road"
Tim, "All My Loving"

The Ugly

That's my recap. Surprisingly the best of the night was Katie, although Crystal and Casey were close.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Lee, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Aaron, Andrew, Tim

Who should go home: Tim
Who will go home: Tim

Tim just needs to go. That's all there is to it. Just send Tim home. Please, "America", I'm begging you . . .

Tomorrow, I'll be watching the show as usual, but not blogging until the end.

Until then, if you're the praying type, please pray for the people of the great state of West Virginia, who have to deal with another mine tragedy. This one happened not to far from where Mrs. High Lord grew up, and she comes from a coal-mining family, so this is a little too close to home.

High Lord. Out.

Yeah, you may be eliminated tonight, but at least you get to go on the tour

2010-03-31T21:31:00.002-04:00

As the Idol results show drones on, let me first express my surprise at Shannen Doherty's ouster on DWTS. I had Buzz or Kate pegged to go for sure, although I think Buzz is getting votes based on 1) him being a national hero, and 2) him being the "sentimental old guy" of this "season".

I also expect Jake and the soap opera guy to be kicked of soon; it's just a matter of the order.

What puzzles me about Kate is why ABC would bring her on to begin with. The obvious answer is that she is a polarising figure who will bring ratings. Lots of people like her, although an equal (if not greater) number loathe her. I'm ambivalent about her personally, although I understand why lots of people think she's a publicity-loving control freak diva. It's interesting to watch her and Tony together; they obviously can't stand one another, and you wonder if John really was that crazy.

In other news, Didi is running her yap and I can't stand her speaking voice any more than I can stand her singing voice. I muted the TV.

Back to Kate: I think viewers like their "celebs" to try hard and show a little bit of humility; Kate does the former very well and the latter not so much. I appreciate the lengths she is willing to go to in order to provide for her children, but I think the world is at the Kate Gosselin overload point. Her fame and fortune are built on being a reality TV star; what would she do if that all went away?

I think there are a lot of people who are willing to vote for her because they see her has a hard-working mom who got stiffed by her lazy, passive-aggressive ex-husband, but I think a lot more people think less complimentary things about her.

As far as her dancing goes, she has no chance at winning (unless Nicole Sherzinger gets lost in a paper bag one day), but she's certainly not any worse than some of the others on the show.

Seacrest just announced the bottom 3 as Didi, Katie and Tim. For the record, that makes two weeks in a row that I've hit the bottom 3. Maybe TPTB will take mercy on us all and whack both Didi and Tim at once (Seacrest just sent Katie back to the couches for the second week in a row).

Kate's problem on DWTS will be that as long as she and Tony are sparring and she's trying to tell him how to do his job, they're going to have problems. I don't think she'll last more than two or three more weeks.

Back to the elimination. Didi and Tim are left and there are 12 minutes left in the show. Seacrest lets them stew for a while as Diddy performs. That makes tonight's performers Diddy, Usher and Rueben. That's almost a line-up of contemporary music. If only they had included a group sing instead of that stupid Ford commercial.

We're 57 minutes into the show and Didi will have to sing for her future. I thought Idol had the time management thing down. I guess now.

Will Didi burst into tears in the middle of her song? I mute her performance because they're going to let her go.

So that leaves us with 9 Idols. I'd say this week, the right singer got eliminated, although I'd have been happy to see Tim go, too.

I'm headed home on Friday and will go see Clash of the Titans this weekend (even without the prompting from Fox). It will be good to be back in my own bed again.

High Lord. Out.

The Idol tour preview

2010-03-30T19:57:00.015-04:00

I've been out of town for almost three weeks now, and I'm ready to go home. Can't wait until Friday . . .

At least my hunter is up to level 57 since I've had a lot of free time to roam around Middle Earth. Now if only Will Peartree would show up so I can buy the spring horse from him (preferably at the 3 silver price that got him taken down). Also, if anyone out there is on Elendilmir and wants to send me some Iron Garrison Miner reputation items, please do so!

Some observations from DWTS:

I hate grumpy Len.
Brooke Burke did better this week, but I still like her more when she's not speaking.
Buzz Aldrin has no business being on this show, and they're not even sugarcoating it. Why would anyone think an 80 year old guy should be on a dancing show?
TPTB hate Ashly Coast/Delgrosso
Cheryl has her work cut out for her.
How is it that Derek gets ringers every year?
Have I mentioned that I miss Julianne and Kym?
Was it just me, or was there waaaaaayyyyyyyy too much manufactured drama in the pre-dance taped segments? I wish people would just dance, just like I wish the Idols would just sing.

I also wish I were at home with my DVR so I could watch Idol no-filler style. I really don't care to hear what the "judges" think on Idol this year. I also wish I had my DVR with me so I could have watched Big Bang last night after DWTS; now I have to wait until I get home on Friday to see it.

I'm also really excited to the return of "Five" after Idol.

We're six minutes into the show and still no singing. I hate filler. I also hate the blatant shilling for Usher and his album. Shouldn't they wait until the results show for that crap? I muted the TV.

Today is Siobhán's day in the barrel; she draws the Dead Man's Spot. Her vocals are actually under control for most of the song. I hope she doesn't resort to her patented screeching at the end . . . which she can't resist. I'd like her a whole lot more if she'd just let that go. I hate "money notes" already, but her just yelling for the sake of yelling is pointless. Now I hope the judges call her on it . . . and Simon does. She's just half a step up from "The Ugly" with that.

What's up with the backstage camera? That seems a little intrusive.

Casey is up next. I think Fox is deliberately messing with the curse of going early. The hawtest guy this season is not the strongest singer, but he's probably the #2 performer/all-round musician in the field this year, which will carry him far. I have a feeling the judges are going to slam him for doing the same thing every week, but then again, Chris Daughtry was an OTP and he did pretty well for himself. I like that his hair isn't falling around his face. He wouldn't have stood a chance if Idol still had the "no instruments" rule. His vocals aren't the greatest, and he picked a song that has very little range, but it was a very good performance.

In the three-spot is Big Mike, who is becoming something of a formulaic performer. I don't see the charm of him; I think he's a good (but not great vocalist) and I wonder where he'd be if not for the massive face time he got in Hollywood. He starts in "the false" which is not good (at least for me). I appreciate that he's doing something different (sitting there with a guitar) with a very stripped-down performance. The swaying in the audience needs to stop. I give him a big aiiiiiiiiight, but all the vocal runs are a little much (see Rule #2 to the right).

Didi is batting clean up. Her (singing) voice annoys me almost as much as Lacey's did. I hope she's gone after tomorrow night. She starts slow which is good, and in truth, this isn't as bad as I expected it was going to be. What's with the sparkley prom dress? Her pained facial expressions are distracting. When it ends, I'm happy. Bad? Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. Good? Not even close.

I'm slotting two people down right now. Kara is pigeonholing singers again; WTF is that about?

Wrapping up the first half of the show is Borrowed Time. Will this be the week he gets eliminated? Or a haircut? He goes cross-gender with some Anita Baker, and starts flat. He looks scared/creepy. This can't end soon enough. Was this top 24 really the best 24 they could come up with? I think I want my money back.

If the rest of this season is as boring as tonight's show, I might break up with Idol, too.

While we're waiting for Fox to bombard us with filler, check out this list of songs that should be banned from Idol. Inexplicably, "Against All Odds" isn't the first song on the list.

Andrew hasn't found his groove, in part because he's let the judges get into his head and he keeps second-guessing himself instead of just being a strong singer. I like it a lot; he doesn't try to do too much and chooses an arrangement that caters to his strengths. If the judges slam him, they need to do a drug test for everyone at the table. I'll bet Kara mentions "Straight Up" . . . and thankfully, she doesn't.

By the way, I am officially in love with Andrew's mom.

Before cutting to break, Seacrest mentions that Aretha is up next and then the camera cuts to GHA, which spells trainwreck. At least she didn't pick "Respect". She's dressed like she's 17 going on 26. Her vocals are actually pretty good, although the performance is a little "over the top". She has good vocal control, but she's struggled to find it with poor song selection of the past few weeks; don't get me wrong, she's no VCM, but she showed off that she's a good singer without having to resort to the shouting that plagues Siobhán.

Lee is a guy whom I find boring. I just don't get a connection to him or his singing. He strikes me as just another guy with a guitar, in the same way the Didi is just another blonde girl who got the lead in all the high school chorus concerts. He's okay, but Casey is a better "rocker", Mike has more charisma and Aaron has the youth voters. Maybe not this week (but soon!), but I think when the music stops, he'll be the one without a chair. The judges slurp him, but I just didn't get it.

I'm sure Ken Warwick would have like to put CBX in the Pimp Spot, but since she was just there two weeks ago, they have to put her second to last tonight. Her new thing isn't a haircut, and it's not even the heels. As with all of her other performances, this is a grand slam. The only way it could have been better was if Jack Black, Ben Stiller and Robert Downey, Jr. were backing her up as the Pips. She's not a good musician, but a fairly decent vocalist, who clearly knows how much she can get away with, and doesn't have to resort to cheap stunts (Siobhán) or desperate ploys (Didi). As always, I'd almost be willing to pay money for this download. I also like the red dress.

Simon tells her to go back to playing the guitar. (He's right.) Take that, Kara!

By the way, I just checked and saw that Shannen Doherty got eliminated from DWTS. I didn't see that coming. Of course, in terms of name recognition, she doesn't have much (anymore) and her dancing was uninspiring. At least Buzz is a national hero and Kate is more current, which is probably why they're still around. Shannen hasn't done anything of substance since "Heathers" (one of the great underrated movies of the 80s; go rent it).

Aaron wraps up the show. He's another singer whom I don't understand. Why is he still around? I'm sorry for his recap being so short; I fell asleep half way through.

The Good
Crystal, "Midnight Train to Georgia"
Andrew, "Forever"

The Bad
Katie, "Chain of Fools"
Casey, "Hold On"
Lee, "Treat Her Like a Lady"
Mike, "Ready for Love"
Aaron, "Ain't No Sunshine"

The Ugly
Didi, "What Becomes of a Broken Heart?"
Siobhán, "Through the Fire"
Tim, "Sweet Love"

If this is the tour, I hope they're giving tickets away because everyone tonight has been underwhelming. I think the frontrunners are sandbagging and the rest have a talent deficit.

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Siobhán, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Didi, Katie, Tim

Who should go home: Tim
Who will go home: Tim

Didi is also in the mix to get whacked.

I'm going to go put some laundry in, then settle in to watch V. And try and get to level 58.

High Lord. Out.

On to the Top 10

2010-03-24T21:52:00.003-04:00

As many people have already written, the #11 spot is the worst place to be eliminated. Sure you made the voting rounds, but if you get booted off, you don't get to go on tour, make some money and get a leg up on a record contract.

The general consensus around the internets is that Paige will get whacked. Then, of course, the judges will have the opportunity to save one of them. I will also remind you that even Adolf Hitler hates the Judges's Save.

If there's anything you can agree with Hitler about, it's that the Judges's Save smells to high heaven.

A quick recap of the show involves Paige, Tim and GHA begin sent to the stools for the bottom 3. Miley Cyrus sang something. Seacrest yapped through some filler. Katie is safe. Paige is eliminated. Simon doesn't even pretend that they're going to consider saving Paige. Her good-bye montage rolls.

I think everyone in America knew this was going to happen. After a strong start, Paige was crushed by the grind of Idol. I just don't think she was mentally prepared for how tough the show was going to be on her. Sure, she had the laryngitis excuse last week, but this week she picked the one song everyone wants struck from the Idol songbook and was flat for the entire performance.

Next week, we'll continue booting off the remainder of the fodder and then get down to business in the top 7.

Some other notes:

I only watched part of DWTS and came away largely unimpressed. There are the usual suspects: the athletes, the soap opera stars, the reality show whores and the WTF-is-he/she-doing-on-my-TV folks.
I didn't watch everyone because I was doing laundry for part of the show and because I switched over to watch Big Bang Theory on CBS (no DVR this week), so I can't comment on the field.
Buzz was awful. What does the show have against Ashly Costa/Delgrosso? First Master P and now Buzz. At least Buzz was trying, but I'd still like to see more Ashly, even if she is now married with kids.
Nicole and Evan are this season's ringers. If you believe otherwise, you're not paying attention.
Chad Ochocinco will be better than everyone expects. He may not win, but I'm sure he'll give it 100% effort. He's lighter on his feet than Warren and has more natural talent than Michael. I don't look for him to match Jerry's second place finish, nor Emmitt's victory.
Brooke Burke was awkward in her debut as the hostess. I think she was trying too hard. Of course, I don't care if she opens her mouth; all she needs to do for me is stand there and show off the girls.
I really miss Julianne and Kym. Who will be my future Mrs. High Lord this season?
I've completed 7 of the 9 Spring Festival quests. All I have left is the horse race in Bree and the fence-walking quests in the Shire.
The Pacific is really good.
I miss 79 cent slushies.
I've been able to avoid the Cheesecake Factory for most of my time out of town. I don't know that I'll be able to keep this up for another week.

Idol is better off without Paige, although I don't know that she's really as bad as she has been for the last couple of weeks. This only reinforces my belief that younger singers should not be on the show. Katie's appearance in the bottom 3 surprised me; Andrew's would not have but I thought all of Katie's face time would have helped her for another couple of weeks.

Does anyone know what the theme is for next week?

I'm headed back to the Spring Festival (on Elendilmir).

High Lord. Out.

Idol: Out of town edition

2010-03-23T20:03:00.013-04:00

Here we are, 11 singers left and only 10 spots on the tour. I'm out of town for this week and next leaving Mrs. High Lord to hold down the fort. There's no DVR where I'm staying, so I only get one chance to see each performance.

I watched most of DWTS last night, but I'll save my comments on that until tomorrow.

The "mentor" tonight is Miley Cyrus. She's pushing a movie, right? She's . . . like . . . 12 years old; how can she be a "mentor"? If I hear the mountain climbing song, I'm going to stab someone.

Now, on to the singing.

First up is Lee who is singing "The Letter", which has been performed solo by Gokey and as a duet by Carly and the future Mr. Beckeye, Michael Johns. I'm not a fan of the jazz arrangement, although it could have been worse. I think of Lee as Elliot-Lite, and that doesn't make me a fan. Lee is one of those guys who doesn't inspire people to get out and vote for him, but nor does he get people to hate him. I think he could sneak into the Top 6, but I think that's about the ceiling for him.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Paige is going into the Idol songbook for a song that should be retired; I should put her the "The Ugly" for that alone. As it is, Paige lands herself in the Bottom 3 on her own. Her voice sounds as breathy as Archuleta's (I know everyone was slurping him, but I couldn't stand him). Plus, she's flat for most of the song. I predict right now she'll be eliminated, and there are still 9 more singers to go.

Next up is Eric Forman's Haircut who is trying his hand a some Queen. It's okay, although his slide across the floor was ill-conceived at best and awkward at worst. This isn't a bad song for him; he's trying to show a little "personality", even if the vocals are between below average and mediocre.

So far, I'm asking myself why I'm watching the show and not completing the Spring Festival Deeds in Bree.

The laryngitis victim of the week is Aaron who sings the big Aerosmith song. Randy says nice things; I don't think he was that good, but following Tim and Paige makes him seem better than he really was. I think he's got an outside shot at making the Top 5 or so. He'll advance this week because the field is week.

In a week that must have killed her to be associated with Miley Cyrus, CBX takes her usual approach to the show and goes way off the deep end, which isn't a bad thing. Unlike some past performances, I wouldn't even think about paying for this download (I don't like the Joplin version, either), but Crystal does a good job or rocking the house. I would pay to see her in concert though. I really hope she doesn't win.

The halfway point is marked by Big Mike who shows off his big voice. I'm not a big fan of this song, so I'll give it a big aiiiiiiiight. Kara was bored by it, and so was I. I think he's become a formulaic singer who does the same thing week after week. I think he's a shoo-in for the top 5, but I don't know that he'll win.

Miley encouraged Andrew to lose the guitar and he gives us a rockin' version of Marvin Gaye. The judges bash him, but I actually liked it. I appreciate that he was willing to give up guitar. Can't the judges go through an entire show without alluding (or mentioning outright) to "Straight Up". I thought it was better than the judges. Now only if we can get him to ditch the chunky glasses . . .

Former TCO GHA is the same age as the "mentor"; how does that work again? She's singing a Fergie song that doesn't involve spelling and I want to like her, but there's just something about her that comes up a little short. I like that she picked a recent song (as opposed to Marvin Gaye, Queen or The Box Tops). This week she has a bit of a nasally thing going on, which I'm not a fan of, but she is easily in the top quartile of the performers of this week.

Without being able to give Crystal a much-needed hair makeover, the Idol stylist is going crazy with Casey. He need to get his hair out of his face. If my friend Amy were watching this show (which I'm sure she isn't), she would be horrified to hear anything by Huey Lewis. I'm waiting for Marty and Doc to pop in out of nowhere ("Roads? . . . Where we're going, we don't need . . . roads . . .") I like him; he's got a good pop/country sound and doesn't try to do too much (unlike some of the other singers still around).

As you all may know, I'm not a fan of IBG Didi. I don't care for her voice and I think she should have been eliminated before two or three of the singers who didn't make it out of the rounds of 24. This week, I like her even less. I don't know why voters are keeping her around; she's neither the most talented, the prettiest nor even the most charming.

I read an article that says Idol's problems aren't because of the changes at the judges's table, song selection or because everyone is "pitchy". It's because the singers this season simply aren't very good. I tend to agree. Of all the gazillions of people who auditions, these are the best they could come up with? Really?

Siobhán nabs the Pimp Spot and she's gone big with her hair. Will she screech a big note at the end or will she just sing the song? She's channeling her inner 80s diva. All that's missing are the legwarmers. In terms of pure vocal talent, she's near the top of the heap this season. Don't get me wrong; she's not Anwar, nor even Carrie or Diana, but she has a lot of control (when she's not screeching money notes), and doesn't miss the pitch too often (when she's not screeching money notes). Just as I liked Andrew giving up the guitar, I'd like to hear Siobhán just sing a song without resorting to the shouting.

The Good
Crystal, "Me and Bobby McGee"
Casey, "The Power of Love"

The Bad
Siobhán, "Superstitious"
Andrew, "Heard It Through the Grapevine"
Katie, "Big Girls Don't Cry"
Mike, "When Man Loves a Woman"
Lee, "The Letter"
Aaron, "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"

The Ugly
Didi, "You're No Good"
Tim, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love"
Paige, "Against All Odds"

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Paige, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Andrew, Didi, Paige

Lee might make a surprise visit to the bottom 3 because he had to go first, but I think he's got a few more weeks before that happens.

Who should go home: Paige
Who will go home: Paige

This week's elimination is among the easiest calls to make: Paige will get whacked, unless her fans go into calling/texting overdrive and maybe Tim gets eliminated, but I think Paige has outlived her welcome by about three weeks.

Tomorrow, remember I'm not live-blogging results shows, but I'll have a couple of comments about the elimination and DWTS.

High Lord. Out.

I'm already starting off on the wrong foot

2010-03-17T21:57:00.002-04:00

Actually, that's not quite right. I got the bottom 3 right, I just predicted the wrong person being eliminated.

I'm not surprised Lacey got whacked, but I don't think she would have survived next week if she had made it through tonight's show. Now if we can only get rid of Didi, who's interview with Seacrest made me hit mute because I can't stand the sound of her voice.

Paige is officially on borrowed time.

Other thoughts on tonight's show:

I guess they finally abolished the group sings.
The Ford commercials are still abysmal. Or maybe it's just my bias against Ford.
David Cook on Idol is never a bad thing. I wish more Idols would come home instead of pushing off bad pop acts off on us during the filler time.
Have I mentioned how much I hate the results shows?
I think we have about four more weeks of the fodder getting mowed down, and then we'll get into the surprise eliminations.
Does anyone know what the theme is for next week?
"The Pacific" is great. If you're not watching it, you should be.
I wonder if anyone is going to spin out Jimmie Johnson this week now that 1) they know they can get away with it, and 2) they'd hate to see him win five in a row.
The Judges's Save still sucks.

Now we've got six more days before the next show. Until then . . .

High Lord. Out.

So close . . . yet so far away . . .

2010-03-17T19:44:00.004-04:00

Over the next two weeks, two singers will be eliminated from Idol. These two will have made it through the gauntlet only to come up short and not make the tour. Some of these have been bad (Mikalah Gordon, Leah Labelle, Lindsay Cardinale) and others should have gone further (Matt Rogers, Melissa McGhee). Who will it be this year?

In past seasons, I've noticed that the strength of the field has increased from the year before. This year, the field is underwhelming. Most of the guys are mediocre at best, the girls are playing it too safe and there are only a couple of people who have a legitimate shot at taking home the title..

Here is my breakdown of the 12 singers:

Just Happy to Be Here
Lacey, Paige, Tim

As we know, Tim is playing with house money, much like Nikko from season 4. He was passed over before the rounds of 24, but now he's here thanks to some questionable business dealings between another singer and his former record company.

Lacey probably should have made it last season, but this year, she's just not a contender. I find her singing style annoying and I just don't understand how she can rally a fanbase big enough to keep her around. Her sound is like Didi's, her look isn't quite a edgy/quirky as Siobhán's, and she doesn't have the simple raw talent of Crystal.

Paige is one of those last girls standing who somehow inexplicably survived the female gendercide of the rounds of 24. She is clearly an inferior singer to Michelle, an inferior performer to Lilly and her story is less compelling than Haeley's. She improved some this week, but if she survives tonight, she'll need to begin gathering a strong bloc of votes to make it to the tour.

Who Am I? Why Am I Here?
Didi, Katie

These two are struggling to find an identity. Didi wants desperately to have a mainstream pop sound, but her quirky singing style prevents that. Katie made the show about two seasons two early. I think she spends too much time trying to figure out how to take the judges's advice and not enough time picking songs that are good for her.

Both of these girls have received enough face time to carry them for a couple more weeks, but they need to solidify a sound soon or they won't make the Top 8. Didi is in more trouble than Katie.

Look at Me, I'm Cute!
Aaron

Riding the votes of empowered tweens with unlimited text messaging plans, Aaron is setting himself up for a run. Like most teenagers, he's really too young to be on the show, but now that he's there, he wants to make a charge. I think he could sneak into the top 5 or so, but he's got no chance at winning. He's just too green.

I Used to be a TCO! What Happened?!?!?!?
Andrew

Quite simply, the judges boxed him in and won't let him out. He's like the the Number Three cylons. I'm not going to blame him for the Straight Up performance; I'm going to blame the judges for not letting that go and reminding us as such every week. I think he's got a lot of voters (the Latino bloc for one), but I don't see him picking up new voters every week.

I'm Still a TCO! Hear Me Roar!
Mike

Is there really any doubt about this one? I think he's this year's Archuleta and Gokey. TPTB like him, so they handed him twenty million votes in the Hollywood rounds. The judges are slurping him and he's getting a lot of face time. He's got a good voice, performs well on stage and could plug into the big, cuddly, non-threatening black guy role that was filled (no pun intended) by Rueben, only Mike's sound is more commercial. I hate to sound cynical about this, but having a white wife could hurt him among homophobes (black and white) who disapprove (however tacitly) of interracial unions.

The Enigmas
Lee, Siobhán

I think you say her name "shuh-vawn", but any way you slice it, I don't think Idol knows what to do with her. She could mount a strong charge and win, or her quirky personality could turn voters off. I think she's a strong singer who needs to stop screeching at the end of songs and just sing. She could be a mainstream pop singer, or she could also be the next Amy Lee or Liz Phair who makes music that's just half a step out of sync with the pop radio stations.

Lee desperately wants us to like him, but there's something oddly detached about his demeanor. Maybe it's just me. I think he's built more for Nashville Star and while I don't think he's going to flame out like Josh Gracin, I don't see him getting very far.

Eye Candy
Casey

Do I even need to explain this? What has surprised me about him is that he's actually a good entertainer. He doesn't have the best voice, but neither did Taylor, and Casey is a whole lot better looking. It's a no-brainer that he has legions of girls in his fan club, but the question is whether that's enough to carry him in to the finale.

I'm the Clear Frontrunner, But I Don't Want to Win
Crystal

I think it's pretty common knowledge that Crystal is self-aware enough to understand what the exposure on Idol will do for someone's career, even if winning will turn them into something they abhor. I think FRC knew this, too, only he tried to play the game and instead of coming off as authentic, he just appeared smarmy and creepy. It also hurt Constantine that he was splitting votes with Bo, who not only was authentic, but had more talent and didn't eye-boink the cameras at every opportunity.

The fact that Crystal is unapologetic about her ambitions and desire to make it is at the same time admirable and a little arrogant. I think she knows it's not in her best interest to win. She wants to be Chris Daughtry, and make her own music without the mantle/burden of being the American Idol. She's got the most talent the most drive. The judges have anointed her as the early favourite. Her problem is that I don't see her 1) picking up new voters now that she's got Lilly's, and 2) ever making a pop record.

Seriously, watch her face during the group sings; she seems genuinely horrified and embarrassed to be taking part in them. She'll be traveling with the Lilith Fair in about two years.

Now that you have my rundown of the 12 finalists, here's how I think they will finish. Notice that I'm not predicting how they should finish, but how I think they will end up. Remember, all predictions guaranteed wrong or your money back.

12. Paige
11. Lacey
10. Tim
9. Lee
8. Didi
7. Katie
6. Aaron
5. Andrew
4. Crystal
3. Mike
2. Siobhán
1. Casey

You read that right: I'm picking Casey to win, even though the person who should win is Crystal. I don't think he's the most talented, but he's good looking, a good singer and likable (with and without a shirt on). He will consistently pick up new voters as other singers get voted off. Plus, being the oldest singer remaining, the grind of the show won't chew him up like I think it will do to others like Katie and Aaron.

As always, I'm not live-blogging the results show but I'll have my thoughts posted later tonight once the elimination is over.

High Lord. Out.

I guess it's time to get down to business

2010-03-16T19:53:00.015-04:00

After last week's eliminations, the Idols are taking the stage for the Top 12. The general consensus around the interweb is that this crop is dull. I don't know if the show has jumped the shark or if the talent pool is simply shallow, but for the past few years, there hasn't been anyone to come out and "wow!" the general audience.

Part of the problem, I think, is that the singers are too filtered. The show has been on long enough that the singers aren't raw and "undiscovered". There are too many professional and semi-professional singers for a truly unknown talent to turn up.

There is also the emergence of the self-aware auditioner, and I don't just mean the people who dress up in costume just to get on TV. For instance, take Katie, who professes to have been watching the show since she was 8. She clearly knows how to play the game, from song selection to the obligatory sob story. Crystal is also self-aware about her role on the show and how to play the game. I think she does not want to win, but us leveraging her talent to make a career in the music business that is more than singing on street corners and touring small venues.

The people who are on this year remind me of NASCAR qualifying cars; they were built to get to the race and to compete for the pole position, but when it comes to actually winning, some are woefully unprepared. I think that's why so many of the winners of this show have fallen off the face of the earth since taking their victory lap.

With the varying themes, the show is designed to find someone who excels at a bunch of different things, but is truly good at none of them. That's why the most successful of the most recent winners have not been winners. Of the others, only Kelly can say she was a success in the pop genre, the rest have either flamed out or been Carrie and gone on to Nashville.

What will happen when this season ends? Will it fizzle out after Simon's exit? Will it plod along for a few seasons before being replaced by another show? Will the Idol TPTB get the message and stop tinkering?

We'll find out in a few months.

On to the show.

The theme tonight is the Rolling Stones. Do they really need the money that bad?

First up is Big Mike with "Miss You". The false is too much for me to take. He'll clearly be safe for many, many weeks because he's been handed so many votes with the massive face time he's received. I was unimpressed. So much so that I don't really remember anything good or bad about the performance. This is his second time in the Dead Man's Spot, so I think Idol is trying to change the mojo of the show. Kara thinks Mike is going to win.

Next up is Didi who our friend BeckEye believes is a plant. There are conspiracy theories that fly around every year, and I don't really pay attention them. What I do know is that Didi shouldn't have made it through Hollywood and she definitely didn't deserve to out last Lilly. I can't stand her singing voice and style. She tries to look angry, even though the audience is swaying. She knows she's on thin ice because she's showing a lot of skin and wearing jeans that are way too tight. Randy slurps her up because that's what he does with pretty blondes.

So far, the yawners are 2-2.

Going third is Casey, who started off trading on his (shirtless) looks, but I think he's come on strong lately. He comes out rockin' which is always good. His vocals aren't the strongest, but neither were Bo's. Casey comes across as a good live show and perhaps a strong cover artist. This performance plays to his strengths which are a good blues guitar and strong stage performance. Ellen was very funny. Kara blathers on incoherently.

Lacey is batting clean up. Her sound is very much like Didi's, which is to say, her voice annoys me. She likes to sing in church. I didn't expect her to make it this far. She always sounds like Harriet Wheeler covering someone else. She's better than Didi, but not by much. It's too slow and not quite Lindsay Cardinale bad, but I couldn't wait for her performance to end.

In the five-spot, Andrew still hasn't done away with his big, chunky glasses. His father cries and his mother is apparently mute. He eschews the guitar and has his strongest performance since the voting started. His vocals are better than Randy thought and he smartly avoids oversinging, at least until the end. Can't Kara just listen to the song and not worry about how people connect to the lyrics? I'm really tired of her.

Wrapping up the first hour of the show is GHA. Did you know she's only 16? Seacrest gives her the pre-song sit down along with a couple of million votes. I'm just happy she's reasonably articulate and not a blithering idiot like Archuleta. I want her to be good, but I just don't know how she'll do down the stretch. My buddy Mike wants her to be 18 so he doesn't feel dirty when she's on. I hate that she's singing a slow song, but she's the best of the girls so far. Hey, Katie, your grandmother called, and she wants her drapes back.

I can't believe we have to sit through another hour of the show tonight. So far, we've had two good performances, two bad and two that were meh.

Next up is Tim who is playing with house money. I wonder if the judges will rip him for going Andrew Garcia. This sounds like a Jimmy Buffett/Kenny Chesney kind of song. I don't hate it, but I don't care for it either. I think he wants to be Kris Allen, but he's not that charismatic nor is his voice as good. And he needs a haircut. Damn hippy. I like that Ellen and Kara at least acknowledge that he tried something new with a song, even if it didn't work.

Don't Call Me Chiffon is next. She's singing the theme from "Tour of Duty" and the Idol hairstylist used a "get out of jail free" card on her. Siobhán looks like she's ready to go to the goth prom (not a complaint; goth girls are both hawt and freaky . . . at least that's what I've heard. Don't tell Mrs. High Lord I said that). I like her, if only because she's so different from anyone who's been on the show; she's very unpretentious, which is oddly refreshing. That last note was a little much for me. But with the glasses, she's got that hawt librarian look. Yummy.

Taking us into the home stretch is Lee, whose head is huge compared to Seacrest's. I'm undecided on him; some weeks he's good and other weeks he's just been okay. At least he hasn't been awful. He goes unplugged, which seems to be a recurring theme; where are the judges to rip him for it? Like his past performances, I don't love it. I don't hate it. I'm simply uninspired.

Paige hails from the great state of Florida, who I think is living on borrowed time. That she's still around while Michelle and Lilly are gone seems a little odd. This is a good rockin' song for her. I'm no fan, but I think she knows she has to go all in and can't sandbag like some of the others. She has a big voice, but doesn't let it go completely, which is good. This was her best performance so far. Why are Ellen, Kara and Simon covering for Paige?

Going second to last is Aaron, which means Crystal is going last. Did you know he's only 17? And he's adopted. You've got to watch out for adopted kids; they're all trouble. It starts slow, which is bad. Considering how deep the Rolling Stones's song book goes, why are so many of them picking bad songs? I thought he was boring, which is a shame because I think Aaron could have been much, much better.

Predictably landing in the Pimp Spot is CBX, who really doesn't need the help. Why does she get to walk out from behind the sliding screen? It sounds like every other Crystal song, which is to say that she's almost iTunes/XM ready. I see that the Idol make-up people got their hands on her with some foundation, although she probably took out a restraining order against the hair stylist. Like some of her other performances, I'd almost pay money to download her song. I think if the judges tell her she needs to change up her style a little, she'll tell them to go to hell. If she has one problem on this show is that she doesn't have much room to improve. I don't think she's peaked yet, but she could be in the Chris Daughtry/Melinda Doolittle zone, which means a third/fourth place exit.

The Good
Casey, "It's All Over Now"
Crystal, "You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Andrew, "Gimmie Shelter"

The Bad
Siobhán, "Paint It Black"
Paige, "Honky Tonk Woman"
Katie, "Wild Horses"
Lee, "Beast of Burden"
Mike, "Miss You"
Aaron, "Angie"
Tim, "Under My Thumb"

The Ugly
Lacey, "Ruby Tuesday"
Didi, "Playing With Fire"

Who should be in the bottom 3: Didi, Lacey, Tim
Who will be in the bottom 3: Lacey, Paige, Tim

Who should go home: Didi
Who will go home: Paige

I think Lacey is in danger of going home, but since "America" doesn't like brown people, I'm predicting a Paige exit, even though she was better tonight than I can remember seeing her. Aaron probably also deserves a spot in the bottom 3, but I think he's got too many tweeners voting for him to be eliminated.

As always, I'll be watching, but not live-blogging the results show tomorrow. By the way, my elf hunter is up to level 52.

High Lord. Out.

1 surprise, 3 not so much

2010-03-12T00:50:00.002-05:00

Although it doesn't rank up there with Chris Daughtry or J-Hud's eliminations, Lilly getting the boot was a bit of a surprise. When they paired her up with Katie, I knew it was Lilly's time to go.

What was it about her? I think she was splitting votes with Crystal, and CBX got the majority. I expected Didi to get eliminated instead, although Lacy was probably also on the chopping block. What does this mean for the girls? Crystal just lost her major competitor for the top spot.

On the guys's side, Todrick's ouster was not surprising given his entire body of work, which was shaky at best, but he had the best performance of the guys this week. I think the stories of him taking peoples's money for a production that never panned out didn't help him.

Alex needed to go. Not because he was a bad singer or because of his silly haircut. He needed to go because Idol would have destroyed him. He's too young, too inexperienced and too scared to be on stage. Of course, now that he's made the voting rounds, he's precluded from returning to Idol, but the judges really need to borrow a page from Nigel Lythgoe and start telling young singers, "You're good and you have talent, but you're not ready right now. We're going to send you home to work on your vocals, your stage presence and your confidence. Come and see us again in two years."

I'm convinced this would have save Leah Labelle and John Stevens from self-destructing on stage.

Now that the top 12 are set, I think the obvious top two contenders are Crystal and Big Mike. There are a few people who can challenge them, but for right now, they're at the top of the heap and everyone else is playing for third place.

I'll have to cogitate for a few days and I'll come up with an order I think the remaining singers deserve to be eliminated, and an order in which I think they will be eliminated.

High Lord. Out.

Sorry for the delay

2010-03-11T17:12:00.002-05:00

I've had a bit of a long day, so I'll be brief. Rest assured, though, that I'll be watching the results show tonight in its entirety.

Here's what I thought of last night's show:

None of the guys really wanted to win, except maybe Big Mike.
I can't believe I'm about to write this, but the best performance of the night was Todrick. While I can't stand him personally and he doesn't have a prayer to win, his version of "Somebody to Love" was excellent. Yes, it was over the top, and only someone who didn't know Queen (Kara) would criticise him for being the same. The vocals were spotty, but Freddie Mercury had a big voice, not a perfect voice.
Other people having a good night: Casey, Tim.
People having a bad night: Everyone else.
Like the girls, the guys got a case of the borings.
I wish the judges would stop reminding us of how Andrew peaked with "Straight Up". Each performance should stand on its own merit, not be judged against a previous effort. It bugs me that they constantly want to pigeonhole the singers, then tell them to break out of the mold they put them in. Just let them sing.
Aaron's problem wasn't that he picked a song that was out of his experience range (Kara, I'm talking to you), it's that he was oversinging.
Alex needs to be put out of his misery. I don't care how good a singer he is, this show is going to chew him up and spit him out. He always looks scared, and if he hasn't gotten that fixed by now, he's going to implode faster than Leah Labelle did.
And he needs a haircut.
Lee's nasally voice is beginning to annoy me.
Big Mike is also guilty of oversinging, even though the judges constantly slurped him for it. I hope the show doesn't milk the "he missed his baby's birth for Idol" story or the viewing audience will turn on him faster than they did on Gokey.
For elimination, I'm picking Todrick and Alex, although Andrew could be a surprise elimination. I guess we'll find out in a couple of hours.

The Good
no one tonight

The Bad
Todrick
Mike
Tim
Casey

The Ugly
Aaron
Lee
Andrew
Alex

I'll be back in a little bit.

High Lord. Out.

A day late and a dollar short

2010-03-10T10:02:00.003-05:00

But hey, with this blog, you get what you pay for.

Here are a few of my thoughts on last night's Idol:

Randy must have had one of Ellen and Portia's "marital aids" stuck somewhere unpleasant because he was in a very bad mood last night.
To be fair to the Dawg, the girls were underwhelming.
The best performance by far was Crystal, whom they couldn't put in the Pimp Spot twice in three weeks.
Best vocals belonged to Siobhán and (surprisingly) Paige. Both girls had good tone, were clear and didn't have any pitchy moments.
What's up with all the (bad) slow songs? The one thing the judges were right about is that for the last show going in to the Top 12, for those who are on the bubble, it has to be balls-to-the-wall, not playing it safe. There were too many timid performances, something this season that has been the provice of the guys, not the girls.
Is Idol abandoning GHA, their female TCO? They stuck her in the Dead Man's Spot, then the judges all bashed her. Some of it was deserved (like for singing too slow and being flat in too many places) and some of it was not (like for bashing her for taking their suggestions).
Didi and Lacy both sound the same to me. I don't care for either, although I think Lacy's I-can't-believe-I-got-whacked-for-Megan-Joy story will carry her through to the Top 12, where she'll be eliminated in about 9^th place.
I don't understand Lilly's charm, although she does have a good voice. I'd look for her to split votes with Crystal with CBX coming out the winner. If she was going to sing a "Fall to Pieces" song, I wish it had been the Velvet Revolver one.
Everyone needs to watch "The Pacific" miniseries that's starting on HBO this coming Sunday.
Katelyn and her hair were awful.

The Good

Crystal, "Give Me One Reason"

The Bad

Siobhán, "House of the Rising Sun"
Paige, "Smile"
Lilly, "I Fall to Pieces"

The Ugly

Katie, "Break Away"
Lacy, "The Story"
Didi, "Rhiannon"
Katelyn, "I Feel the Earth Move"

That's what I heard last night, and I'm not sure the judges and I were watching the same show.

I look for Didi and Katelyn or Paige to get eliminated tonight. Speaking of which, tonight will be more of the same 'cuz Mrs. High Lord and I are babysitting. I won't be live-blogging the show, but I'll have an abbreviated review up no later than tomorrow by mid-afternoon (I'll be traveling in the morning; long story, don't ask).

High Lord. Out.

Fair warning notice

2010-03-09T12:01:00.004-05:00

My stepdaughter has gone out of town for the week leaving Mrs. High Lord and I with her two year-old. That means tonight and tomorrow night I'll be chasing a little one around instead of live blogging Idol.

Rest assured (all eight of you, plus my mother), that I have not broken up with the show; I'm just on baby watch this week. Regular live-blogging will continue next week.

In other news, here are a few of my random thoughts:

In case you hadn't heard, past champion, super-hawt über-MILF Brooke Burke has signed on to be Samantha Harris's replacement. I'm kind of psyched about this. For one thing, anyone would be an improvement over the Queen of Unintentional Comedy. I was hoping for Drew Lachey, but I realise they need some co-host eye candy and Brooke fills that role nicely. She didn't do half-bad for Rock Star, so there's no reason to think she'll bomb on DWTS.
The general consensus on this season of Idol is that it is a Stage 4 Snoozer, and I am hardly one to disagree. How bad is it that two of the frontrunners (Crystal and Lilly) appear to be angling for the singer-songwriter niche that is lightyears away from the pop star the show is purportedly trying to find?
Because of the aforementioned apathy regarding the show, it's not the arrival of Ellen or the departure of Simon that signals the show's decline; it's bad talent.
Lucy Pinder. Yum.
As much as I loved the new BSG, I'm having a hard time getting in to Caprica, the BSG prequel series. I just don't feel attached to any of the characters and it seems to lack everything that made BSG so great.
My old big screen TV is on the fritz. It's a rear-projection HDTV that has a convergence problem. I guess I could fix it, but is it worth sinking a couple hundred bucks into a 9 year-old TV when I could buy a new 32" model for $400.
I got an email from our friend Jennifer. She sends her best to everyone and wants you to know that she's not fully broken up with Idol; they're just on a break. If you remember, this started about half way through last season and it's been coming for a while, which is a shame, 'cuz hers is the best blog I read.
My elf hunter is up to level 47 now and pushing level 48. Yea, me!
If you have a Toyota (or any other brand of car, for that matter) that experiences "unintended acceleration", what should you do?

Stand on the brakes?

Pull the parking brake?

Turn the car off?

The correct answer: None of that above. Shift into neutral (or disengage the clutch) and coast to a stop. You do not want to lose control of the vehicle (which is what the above three actions will do), so if you stop the wheels from receiving any power from the engine, you'll be able to safely pull over and park your car. Then turn the engine off and call AAA or roadside assistance.

Anyway, while I probably won't be on during Idol, I'll blog the show either after the baby goes to bed or I'll drop a few random thoughts by tomorrow.

High Lord. Out.

Why do you hate brown people, America?

2010-03-04T21:02:00.003-05:00

The show just ended and I've been watching, but I refuse to live blog the results shows. At least right now there's enough actual content to justify half of a one hour show; what are they going to do when the results shows are still an hour but there's only one person to eliminate?

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

Three of the four people who got canned deserved it.
John has been underachieving with poor song choices.
Jermaine never really recovered from coming off as a diva during Hollywood week when he trashed the band in front of America. Being flamboyantly gay doesn't help him.
Haeley was on borrowed time and is probably two years too young for this show. Like most teenagers, she needed a couple of years for her voice to even out before taking on the show. Diana and Jordin are the exception, not the rule.
I thought Michelle would be around for a while, but I guess I was wrong. Her voice was one of the best on the show, but a lousy song choice this week was her undoing. I'm just unhappy that I won't get to see her hawt sister any more.
Todrick dodged a bullet this week and he knows it. I look for him to go next week.
Was it just me or did Gokey ramble on and on and on for an inordinately long time? I muted his song and didn't listen to his blather, but his lips seemed to be moving for waaaaaayyyyyy too long.
Mrs. High Lord put out a bounty on Alex's mullet.
The group sing was awesome in a tremendously bad way.
Other people living on borrowed time: Didi, Katelyn, Paige, all the guys not named Mike, Casey, Andrew or Lee.

Next week is the last week for the guy/girl silliness, then we're on to individual eliminations. Pretty soon, it will be time for the new DWTS and Clash of the Titans in theaters. Until then . . .

High Lord. Out.

Tonight you get two-fer

2010-03-03T19:57:00.025-05:00

I don't know if this is good for your or bad for you . . .

Yesterday, the girls were supposed to go, but because CBX paid a visit to the hospital, the guys got go first. I've read conflicting reports as to whether she'll be on tonight or not; I guess we'll find out as soon as the show starts.

Something in the Idolverse is wrong; our friend Jennifer hasn't posted since last season's finale and our friend Laura is posting a couple of days late. Is everyone breaking up with the show?

The girls are introduced and Crystal is there. Is she singing last? Again. Mrs. High Lord thinks she's pregnant.

Randy babbles a little bit about the guys. He says the guys really want to win. I say Randy's been in Paula's happy juice. Why do we have to sit through the filler? Isn't this show about singing?

First up is CBX, who is half of a pair of twins. Did you know she's a single mom and that she's doing this show for her baby? She's back with her guitar and singing CCR. It's a good choice for her, even though it's slow. Her voice is better than anyone has given her credit, although she is built more for Nashville Star or Rock Star than Idol. As with last week, I'd almost pay money to download her song this week.

Going second is Superflous E. If she sings the mountain climbing song, I'm going to be sick . . . and excuse me, I have to hurl. She's flat through the entire song. Like John last night, she can't afford to be bad while singing from the second spot. I thought everything was terrible. From pitch problems to the song being too big for her, this should definitely land her in major danger of elimination.

I'm really excited about Clash of the Titans. And Iron Man 2.

Lacey and her red hair is next. She gets the random interview before she sings. Last week was rough for her, but this week she takes some of Kara's direct advice. Only she slows the arrangement down way too much. Is this the fault of the musical director or the singers? She peps up and isn't as bad as I expected. Her voice has a couple of odd ticks, but as Randy would say, this was seventeen million gazillion times better than last week.

Batting clean up is TCO GHA who is 17 going on 24. Mike, stop thinking those things about her. Especially when she says she wants you to kiss her. She's singing some Corinne Bailey Rae, which is a good choice for her. It's much better than Antonella's version. She has a little bit of Diana Degarmo fembot in her. I'm just happy someone picked a happy song and is mostly in tune. Simon doesn't think she's trying to win. I think she's sandbagging.

IBG Didi wraps up the first half of the show. I can't decide whether I like her or not. She goes right to the Idol textbook with an old standby. It's better than I expected (I guess that's the good thing about having low expectations; I even enjoyed the Wolverine movie because I didn't go in thinking it would be the second coming of To Kill a Mockingbird). I don't hate it; I don't love it. She's just meh. And she's not as bad as the judges said.

The good news for the girls is that so far, they're light years better than the guys. And the judges are all high.

Have you noticed that Ellen's codephrase for "You look amazing" is "You have a great voice."

My personal fave underdog singer is Michelle, who apparently beatboxes with Didi's meowing. She's singing Creed and she directs a children's choir. Awwwww!!!! Fortunately, she has probably has one of the best two or three voices on the show this year. While she's not as technically adroit as Anwar, she's very good. I think she can sandbag for a couple more weeks before taking the gloves off and going for the kill. What's with the knuckle gloves? The song starts too slow. Unlike most of the guys from last night, she's not afraid to be on stage. The prom dress under a leather jacket over jeans isn't working for me. I don't care of this song, but at least she show's that she can mix it up a little, even if she's saving up for a late charge. I want Michelle to stick around for a while because I want to see more of her hawt sister.

At least Simon acknowledges that sometimes they give contradictory advice about song choice and arrangements.

I'd be happy if Lilly would pick a hair colour that was close to something that was naturally-occurring in human follicles. She has too many runs in the song for my liking. I have a hard time buying her singing Sam Cooke. It's good, but not great.

Still rocking the frizzy hair is Katelyn who tries to tame her do, but apparently can only afford half a shirt. She covers one more shoulder than she did last week. She's the first to rock it with the piano this year. At least she's not singing "Clocks". She also goes slow. I appreciate that she's showing off her voice, which should easily get her through to next week. That and weak performances from Didi and Haeley.

After surviving a poor performance from the Dead Man's Spot last week, Paige gets to go near the end of the order tonight. She manages to shill for one of Idol's sponsors this week in her face time. She makes the mistake of singing a past Idol's song. It's much better than last week, but that's not saying a lot. She's very shouty, which is bad. She also can't hit the high notes, which is even worse. At least she didn't go for a money note at the end which would have surely fallen flat. Oh, and it's a bad idea to sing a song when one of the writers is judging you.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is Don't Call Me "Chiffon". Ryan asks what she needs to focus on tonight and the word bubble above Simon's head says "Your glass blowing." She's taking on Aretha, and I'm looking for Blue Lou. It's not as bad as I thought it was going to be, although maybe I should add Aretha to the list to the right that includes Whitney, Mariah and Celine. Surprisingly, her voice isn't drowned out by the song, although it's not as big as this song needs. The screech at the end could have been left off and it would have still been good. I don't think it was worth the placement, but I like her because she's goofy.

The Good
Crystal, "As Long As I Can See the Light"
Katie, "Put Your Records On"

The Bad
Michelle, "With Arms Wide Open"
Lacey, "Kiss Me"
Siobhán, "Think"
Katelyn, "The Scientist"
Lilly, "A Change is Gonna Come"
Paige, "Walk Away"

The Ugly
Didi, "Lean On Me"
Haeley, "The Climb"

This week, I'm picking Jermaine and John to be eliminated this week, although Todrick and Tim are also in play. Alex might also be eliminated because I don't know who's voting for him. Mike and Andrew will easily be safe until the Top 12; face time pays!

Of the girls, even before I've heard Siobhán, I think Didi and Haeley will get whacked, although it could also bee Katelyn, Lilly or Paige.

That's it for me tonight. Tomorrow, I'll be watching the show, but I refuse to live-blog the results shows until the finale because there's way too much filler. At least they didn't bring back the viewer's phone calls.

High Lord. Out.

I'm feeling better

2010-03-03T18:56:00.003-05:00

. . . but I'm not feeling better about the guys. After closing out the blog last night, I stayed up and watched the show just to see how they did.

I wasn't impressed.

So tonight, before the girls get their turn on stage, I'm watching the guys no-filler style.

First up is Big Mike. He's singing James Brown. Unfortunately, he's going first. Fortunately, he's among the best of the night. He's the most over-hyped singer this season and I'm not as tired of him that I was of Gokey last year or Archuleta the year before. I liked the arrangement, even if I don't like the song.

John put me to sleep. He needs to make a move . . . and soon! But tonight he just falls flat. He's got a good voice, but keeps picking crappy songs. And he's flat in spots. Why are so many singers going the safe route when they're clearly in danger of getting whacked?

Despite his resemblance to Bucky, Casey was one of my faves of the night. Not because he has the best voice (he doesn't), but because I can actually see him as a musician. While this song has been done before on Idol, Casey is the first to play the guitar himself. I don't know that I'd pay to see him in concert, but I wouldn't turn down free tickets, either.

Next up is Alex's Mullet. There's a used car salesman on US Route 17 who's missing his jacket and he wants it back. His singing is actually pretty good. He just needs a haircut. I like that he's nervous before going on stage. While that doesn't help his chances at winning, it makes him more likable than the beauty pageant singers and karaoke princesses they also have on the show (Diana). That last note was rough, though.

Following the nervous wreck is Todrick, aka "El Bucho". He sings some Tina Turner and it doesn't work for me. I like his attempt at changing the arrangement, but not everybody can be Adam Lambert. His voice isn't as bad as last week. It's just that the song seemed long and plodding.

Taking the stage with too much attitude is Jermaine, who knows God. So do I, and he says that you need to stop texting him. This arrangement not only doesn't work for me, but his voice is all over the map. He tries to do too much with the song instead of just adding a couple of extra twists. I FF through the rest when he hits a rough patch, which is a shame because when he's not throwing in too many runs, he actually has a good tone.

The judges don't know what they want from Andrew. Last week they told him to lose the guitar and just sing. Now they want him to go back to playing the guitar. WTF? I like Andrew, although his voice goes a little nasal a few too many times for my taste.

Drawing the 8 spot is Aaron, who reminds me of a Chinese gymnastics Olympian (because I think in about five years, we're going to find out he's actually 13). I actually like him tonight. Maybe it's because he didn't pick a boring song; yes, "My Girl" was recorded before his parents were born, but at least it's a little upbeat.

Tim is much better when he's singing than when he's talking. He goes the safe (read: boring) route with an acoustic, chick-magnet song. Excuse me, I'm going to take a nap now. Vocally, it's okay, but I just can't get excited about him or any of the other guys to night.

Tonight's lucky recipient of the Pimp Spot is Lee which I thought was better last night than I think watching him again. It's not awful; he's flat much of the time.

The Good

The Bad
Aaron, "My Girl"
Casey, "I Don't Wanna Be"
Lee, "Lips of an Angel"
Alex, "Everybody Knows"
Tim, "Come On Get Higher"
Andrew, "You Give Me Something"
Mike, "This is a Man's Man's World"

The Ugly
Todrick, "What's Love Got to Do With It"
John, "Gravity"
Jermaine, "What's Going On"

Once again, the judges tell some singers they need to make songs their own (John) and others that they need to leave songs alone and just sing them (Jermaine, Todrick).

Overall, the guys ranged from sleep-inducing to cringe-worthy. This is the weakest crop of guys to be on the show. Evah. If they don't inject some life into the show, I'm going to pull a Jennifer and break up with Idol, too.

I'll be back once the girls come on tonight at 8.

Oh, by the way, my hunter is level 45 now. Thanks for asking.

High Lord. Out.

What's up with the show tonight?

2010-03-02T19:57:00.001-05:00

So I turn on the show and at first I think I'm hallucinating. 'Cuz I see Big Mike on the stage and it's supposed to be the girls night. Did I miss something?

I know I'm not feeling well, but this is a little freaky for me. Or is it just my splitting headache that makes me want to turn the show off.

The guys are a weak crop this year, so I think I'm going to give up on the prospect of live-blogging tonight and go to bed early. I'll watch the show on the DVR tomorrow before the girls sing.

I'd also like to make a couple of comments on this crop of DWTS celebs.

First up are the girls. Pam Anderson, Erin Andrews and Nicole Sherzinger. Talk about eye candy. But can they dance? We know Nicole can, but can she dance without a pole? I have it on good authority that her dance style is best described as "flexible".

Then there are the guys. The obvious pre-season faves are Evan Lysacek and Chad Ochocinco.

Of course, DWTS wouldn't be the same without some oddball choices. Buzz Aldrin. Really? Is he going to have a hip replacement mid-season?

I can't stand Nicey Nash on "Clean House" and I don't watch "Reno 911". Shouldn't Jake Pavelka be planning a wedding? Or did he already break up with the girl. There's always ABC's soap opera homer, Aiden Turner. Who?

And of course, Kate Gosselin. While I would stab myself with a spork if I were ever married to her, I think she would be a fun person to hang out with (for a little while). Viewers, of course, will either love her or hate her, even without seeing her take a single step with Tony Dovolani.

A quick perusal of the pro dancer list shows that Julianne is continuing to pursue her far more lucrative country music career than dance for Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris's replacement. Ashly Del Grosso is also MIA (again). Louis and Maks are back, but Future Mrs. High Lord 2.0 Kym Johnson is not.

Apparently, she wanted more money after winning last year and ABC told her to get lost. I'm sad.

It's a good thing I broke up with the show or I'd be tempted to send a nasty email to ABC and be really ticked off.

I'm happy that there isn't a clear front runner, although Nicole and Evan are the obvious front tier. Their problem will be that I don't think they have a large built-in fanbase, as Chad might have with all the football fans who have historically supported the NFL's rep on the show.

I guess we'll find out in about three weeks when the show starts.

Anyway, I'm going to bed early. I'll update you guys on everybody tomorrow.

High Lord. Sick. Out.

Idol results . . . revenge of the Pimp Spot

2010-02-25T19:18:00.005-05:00

I'm not going to live-blog the results show tonight. This is my personal protest against making what should take about 8 minutes into a 60+ minute spectacle just to make a few bucks.

Before things start, I'd like to share some data from last year. If you'll remember, the Pimp Spot is usually where Idol sticks the TCOs to protect them from elimination. Yet last year, not only was the Dead Man's Spot dangerous, but going last came with its own perils.

Two singers were placed in the Bottom 3 (Lil in week 6 and Adam in Week 8). On top of that, Anoop was eliminated in week 7 in a double elimination.

Going first was no safer, as four singers landed in the Bottom 3 and Lil was eliminated in Week 7 in the same show that Anoop got the axe. Will the Pimp Spot be just as dangerous this year?

I didn't make any predictions, but I guess I should.

There are eight singers who deserve to get whacked. For them, it's just a matter of the order in which they get canned.

Tonight, I'm predicting that the lead off singers will both get the boot. Paige didn't get much (if any face time) and Todrick isn't a singer (so why did they put him through?). My other two choices for this week are Tim and Haeley, both of whom underwhelmed. In reality, though, it doesn't really matter at this point.

Jermaine could go because he was bad and came off as being a jackass. Joe was nothing special, as was John. For the girls, Lacey, Janell and Ashley were equally bad. So pick four of them and get rid of them.

I'll be watching the show and waiting for the results, just not updating the blog until the end.

High Lord. Out.

For now.

UPDATE:

Okay, so Janell, Ashley, Joe and Tyler are gone.

Is anyone surprised? If your hand is up, you're lying.

It was good to see Allison "I Should Have Beaten Gokey" Iraheta and Kris "Just Happy to Be Here" Allen again, although their performances were middle of the road. What do you bet that when Adam is on the show this year, he brings a drag show with him?

I am surprised that Toderick and Paige were safe, but at this point, there are too m any folks without a viable fanbase who are trying to solidify support before the Top 12 starts.

Next week, I predict that the remaining singers will take a few more chances, but I think you'll start to see some of the TCOs and middle of the pack singers start to sandbag.

I finally got my hunter up to level 42. Now, it's on to level 43 . . .

High Lord. Out.

No one can repel talent of that magnitude!

2010-02-24T19:51:00.030-05:00

Yes, after last night's all-girl exhibition, it's time for the boys to go.

First, I'd like for everyone to take a moment and reflect on their alma mater's mascot. For me, in high school, we were the Trojans (school newspaper's motto: "We've got you covered!"). I went to undergraduate school at the University of North Florida where we were the Ospreys (a fish hawk). My graduate degrees are from Marshall University, home of the Thundering Herd (one of only a handful of school names that doesn't end in "S"; quick, name 10 of the others!).

Back in 2003, Ole Miss dispensed with their traditional mascot, Colonel Reb, which harkened back to the days of Confederate rebellion and slavery. Now they're searching for a new mascot and nickname to replace the "Rebels". Since school administrators didn't learn from the University of Southern California at Santa Cruz, they allowed the student body to have a say in the matter.

If you remember (and you probably don't), the UCSC students picked the Banana Slug as their mascot and now have a wide variety of Banana Slug merchandise to express their school spirit.

Now it seems some enterprising (and persistent Star Wars fans) have co-opted the Ole Miss process and a growing motion to adopt Admiral Ackbar as their mascot. You can read more here. This would be beyond cool. In fact, I'd move to Oxford, Mississippi and pay out of state tuition just to take a class so I could call myself an Ole Miss Ackbar alum.

Of course, this stands virtually no chance of actually happening, even if the school administrators let it go because I'm sure they won't pay George Lucas the royalties he would demand to use the Admiral as their mascot. Personally, I think it would be a great idea; Ackbar was the supreme commander of the Rebel Alliance fleet, personally leading the assault on the second Death Star from his flagship, Home One. He knows what it takes to be a rebel!

Do you hear me, University of Mississippi? I would pay out of state tuition to take a class if you'd change your nickname to the Fighting Ackbars or something like that!

On to the show . . .

We get a quick introduction and in what is a surprise to absolutely no one, TCO Andrew Garcia gets the Pimp Spot.

Drawing the first spot is Todrick who does what the judges seem to want and changes up a pop song with a new twist on "Since U Been Gone". I liked it. The vocals were weak, but the arrangement will make him "memorable". The performance was okay. The judges, of course, don't listen to their own advice and demands; WTF!?!?!? Randy, Kara and Simon, who spent most of last night telling the singers to make the songs "their own", bashed Todrick for doing what they're encouraging them to do. This annoys me to no end. I don't think he stands a chance at winning; in all likelyhood, he won't make the Top 12, but give the guy credit for at least attempting to bring something new to a pop song rather than going the "safe" route.

Our friend Jennifer hasn't posted her recap from last night. I know she hates the auditions and Hollywood rounds, but for her to be this late is a little out of character. This leads me to believe one of the following things happened:

She won the Powerball and is sunning herself on a beach in Bora Bora.
She broke up with the show and is either watching the Olympics or Lost.
She's face down in a snow-covered ditch somewhere.

I hope she's okay and will get back to the best Idol blog out there.

Next up is Aaron who is very young. I wonder if he can drive. I'm not impressed, especially since they show him flubbing his lyrics in Hollywood. His vocals are okay. His facial expressions are borderline painful. I'm just happy he's not annoying like Archuleta and not apparently prone to having a Leah Labelle-like implosion. The judges slurp him. I don't get it. I think 19E will back him to keep the tween girls (and curious boys) interested in the show and if he wins, they'll be able to manipulate him in ways older--and more experienced--singers (like Crystal and Andrew) won't allow.

Have I mentioned that the new dorm at UNF has a lazy river and all I got was a cinder-block room and a roommate who was always in bed with his girlfriend?

Next up is Jermaine "I Ripped the Band in Public" Sellers who is singing a song I despise. At least he did away with the bad glasses. The wannabe falsetto has to go. He starts off too soft. I don't know if I have a pre-conceived notion that he's a jackass, but I don't care for either the song or the performance. Back in Oklahoma City, Thaddeus Johnson just threw his remote through his TV and shouted, "You cashed me out for this?!?!?!? What. The. F.?!" Ellen bashes him, which does not bode well.

After a commercial, Seacrest gives Tim some face time and then hocs Coca-Cola. Hey, Tim, Eric Forman called and he wants his haircut back. He got cut after the rounds of 24, but now he's back after another singer got ousted over a contract issue. He's singing a whiney song which doesn't make me want to like him. He's got pitch problems, most of which revolve around the unnecessary (is there any other kind?) falsetto.

The guys are unimpressing me tonight. The judges seem to think so, too. Why are they ripping the singers? They picked them.

Joe "Who?" Muñoz is next and I don't remember him from the earlier rounds. He's only there to get eliminated. His vocals are better than I expected. He's inoffensive and generally okay . . . I think. I have to confess I fell asleep halfway through. ¿Why do you think he's Joe and not José?

Not getting out of his 70s groove is Tyler "Nick Simmons" Grady. Isn't the purpose of the show to find a contemporary pop star? "American Woman" is older than I am. He's got good stage presence and his vocals are solid, if unspectacular. I think people will either lurve him or not really care. He won't be like Gokey or Archuleta and inspire legions of equally devoted lovers and haters, but I don't think he's going to make the top 8.

The sound guys seem to have (mostly) fixed the issues that plagued the show last night

We're an hour into the show and I'm almost ready to go to bed because I'm so frickin' bored. Lee is next, but there's a crawl across his forehead announcing a winter weather advisory is moving through the great state of West Virginia. It's almost March the local weather guy (who couldn't predict his own bowel movements, much less a blizzard) needs to bring me some good news. Lee is the first guy to bring out the guitar tonight and he has an unfortunate physical resemblance to Gokey (minus the designer glasses). Parts are too nasally ("It's a singing style!" according to Chris Richardson), but it's generally okay. I'm going to have to fire up a cup o' joe in the Keurig if I want to make it through the rest of the show.

Randy must have taken some of Paula's pills because he's babbling incoherently. If he tells someone that they look gorgeous tonight, Ken Warwick needs to do a piss test on the spot.

Does anyone find it ironic that one of Tiger Woods's mistresses wants a personal apology from the golfer? She gave up a career in porn for him! She was his #1 . . . er, his #2. Or was she his #7? Who can tell? Shouldn't she be apologising to Elin and his kids for being a golddigger who was bagging their husband and father?

"Token Asian Guy" John would (like the rest of heterosexual male America and Canada) ask Shania Twain to marry him if she'd say yes. He goes into the standards songbook for a safe/boring rendition of "God Bless the Child". He's okay. Not bad. Unoffensive. In the first singing we've heard, he comes across as a belter. Why do Asian guys on this show implode early?

Big Mike "I Have My Own Gravity Well That Pulls in Donuts From Across the Cosmos" Lynche was reportedly off the show, but now he's back. He's singing some Maroon 5 (a Star Wars reference) and doing too much falsetto. He makes the guitar look like a ukulele. I don't think he was worthy of all the hype and face time he got in Hollywood, but he'll sail on to the Top 12 easily. Maybe I'm being too stereotypical, but this is not the kind of song I expect to hear from a large, shaved black man. But, hey . . . Hootie won the CMA New Artist of the Year, so anything can happen right? The judges give him some uncharacteristically constructive criticism.

Having survived this year's Group From Hell is Alex "Don't Call Me Adam" Lambert. Someone call Nick Arrojo and tell him to bring his mullet-hunters. Alex looks and sounds nervous. I give him a big "meh". Yawn.

This just in: The Oklahoma City Police are looking for an individual who appears to be under the influence of drugs going on a rampage at an FYE store in a local mall. The suspect is a young black male who is in tears and repeatedly crying out, "Why, God? Why did they cut me and keep these ($&@!%$)holes?" Eyewitnesses are reporting that a women who could possibly be his mother or aunt is brandishing a cast iron skillet and asking people randomly, "Are you Simon? Where's (%$#&@!)ing Simon? I'm going to bash his (*#@$&%!)damn head in!"

As Seacrest introduces "Shirtless Guy" Casey, we see Lilly falling out of her dress (not a complaint). He could be this year's Bucky. Or he could actually be good. Kara and Randy are swaying. Emily from Cobb Middle School (Class of '87): Do you remember our song? I do. Sigh . . . Ah, good times. The song, not so much. Like many of the other guys, he's not awful, but nor does Casey do anything to make me want to like him for butchering one of my sixth grade anthems. The judges predictably slurp him. He uses more product than Katelyn, Crystal and Lilly combined.

Drawing the Pimp Spot is the guys's last chance to have an outstanding performance tonight is Andrew "I'm Not a Gangbanger" Garcia. He needs to borrow some of Gokey's wire-frame glasses, 'cuz the big, chunky specs he's got are fugly. His kid is cute. Of course, he's good. I just wonder if he's peaked too early. I think he should have borrowed a page from Michelle and sandbagged a little this week because if viewers don't see him improve from week to week, they might not vote for him. This is what happened to my girl, LaToya London, as well as Melinda Doolittle. I thought he was better than the judges; they give him their usual quizzical commentary about being boring. He's the best singer of the guys, and probably the best package. Plus, we haven't had a Latino win, have we?

The Good
Andrew

The Bad
Tyler
Joe
Lee
Casey
Mike
John
Todrick
Aaron

The Ugly
Alex
Tim
Jermaine
The judges's stupid comments to singers who actually make a song their own

The guys are clearly weaker than the girls this year. Song choice is a little bit of it, but I think this year's crop is simply full of people who are only there while they're waiting for elimination.

Any combination of guys except for Andrew, Mike and Casey could possibly be in danger tomorrow night.

I'm going to go see if Jennifer has posted anything. Then I'm going to try and get my hunter up to level 42. Again.

High Lord. Out.

Now we're getting down to business

2010-02-23T19:53:00.014-05:00

That's right . . . tonight we're getting down to the part of the show where the kids are singing for votes. First up are the girls, some of whom have had massive face time and others who were just put through so they could get mowed down in the rounds of 24.

I hope our friend Jennifer is back. It's been a long seven months without her. I just hope she doesn't break up with the show.

Has anyone caught the Olympics? I've been watching it off and on (mostly off). Curling is oddly hypnotic and the skiing just reminds me of what happened to my knee the (first and) last time I hit the slopes.

In other news, this brings a tear to my eye. If this were to actually make the games, I might start watching them. From the comfort and isolation of the man-cave, of course.

So are the early favourites this season? The obvious candidates that I can think of off the top of my head are the high face time singers: Big Mike (I heard they brought him back), the girl whose grandma has Alzheimer's, Andrew "Neck Tattoo" Garcia and Crystal "I'm a Single Mom Who Loves My Baby Boy" Bowersox. Aside from them, everyone is just a big white blur (with a couple of brown people thrown in just for good measure).

They've gone back to the 12 guys/12 girls format, which I hate. This means that over the next three weeks, four people will get whacked each week. I haven't heard if they're bringing back the theme weeks in the rounds of 24; lord, I hope not.

Seacrest opens the show with lots of yapping. What's the over/under on how long the show runs over tonight? I'm guessing six minutes. Set your DVRs to run over time. The Simon/Ellen bit was a waste of time.

Drawing the first Dead Man's Spot of the year is Paige, who I don't remember from the audition/Hollywood rounds. Unless she's dynamite, I think she's bottom 3 material on Thursday, and that's without having heard her sing. She summons Mr. Peabody and tells Sherman to set the WABAC Machine 1970 with a song that was included on the Freedom Rock collection. I'm underwhelmed. Her voice is okay, but over all, she's a big aiiiiiiiiight. Simon thinks she has the best voice of the women, but I didn't hear it; neither did he and Simon tells her as much. The judges all slam her song choice. I think she needed to pick a song that is younger than me.

Next up is Ashley, who makes the mistake of singing another idol's song in the Hollywood round. For her first song, she picks one of Simon's protoge's songs; I'm just happy it's not "Bleeding Love". She's flat in a couple of spots. She makes some funny faces. For a song titled "Happy", it comes off as slow and whiney. At least it's contemporary. Kara calls Leona Lewis "the Mariah Carey of this generation"; she is obviously high. Randy rips her song choice. I don't remember seeing Ashley before, so her only purpose is to provide some padding as Idol jettisons the dead weight. I liked her better than Paige.

The judges all rip her for something that drives me nuts. When they sing a song well, but don't change it much, they say the singer isn't being original. When they go out on a limb and try a new spin on an old song and it doesn't work, they rip them for messing with a good thing. Make up your damn minds!

Idol must be smarting by the rating whupping the Olympics are laying down; they haven't passed up a chance to air a commercial or slip in some product placement.

In the three-hole is IBG #1 Janell, who is (unfortunately) covering her legs with jeans. She goes back to the mid-80s with a Heart song. It's too bad she lacks Ann Wilson's voice; the song is too big for her. Taylor Swift would have been a better choice. The girls are picking lots of safe songs tonight.

I think Ellen is going to be okay as a judge. She's a little too cheerleaderish, but given the other three on the panel, that's not a bad thing. I'm just happy she's coherent. Other people think so, too.

Wrapping up the first third of the show is Lilly. I think she needs to get rid of the platinum blonde hair. I just makes her look pale and pasty. She does something smart and goes into the Beatles songbook. She's also the first singer to bring her guitar to the rounds of 24. I like that she didn't pick one of the obvious Beatles songs and seems to have taken Randy/Simon's advice and done something "original." I also like that she didn't sing for a minute and then close out with a fifteen second money note. Her vocals were okay, but she is the standout of the show so far.

Katelyn has big hair. She hasn't heard of conditioner. She plays piano. She likes Beatles songs, too. It's also very safe, which is bad when following Lilly. To her credit, she has a good voice and is one of the better IBGs in the past couple of seasons. It's shouty in parts, but overall pretty good. She has the same hair as her mom. Kara likes her granola look. I like the strapless leather outfit. Simon likes her legs. So does Ellen.

Taking a break from high school is "I Have an Inexplicable Extra E in My Name" Haeley who now has a nose ring. I almost got a nose ring when I was in high school. Then I remembered that I have allergies and sinus problems. And they only look good on about four people. She's also singing a Beatles song. Her intro piece made her come off a lot like Allison; goofy and young, but not goofy and stupid like The Arch. I'm not feeling this rendition. She likes to shout a lot. I think her voice is going to annoy me like Fantasia's if she sticks around too much longer. Will she bring out the first "pitchy" of the night?

Next up is Lacy "I Can't Believe I Got Whacked for Megan Joy" Brown, an Idol recidivist who has the same colourist as Allison. She also goes old school with some Fleetwood Mac. I appreciate that many of the singers are singing good songs, but I'd like to hear songs that are more contemporary. Lacy also annoys me by throwing in lots of little vocal tricks and runs, which I find distracting. See Rule #2 to the right. It was good for her, but not great by any stretch of the imagination. She draws the first "pitchy", but I think it was partly intentional. I think she's also nervous. Just. Sing. The. Song.

Kara mentioned "The Sundays". Wow. Hadn't heard of them since high school. But she's right; Lacy would have sounded so much better with this song.

And Simon probably wouldn't have called her boring.

Getting the random sit-down interview is Katie. Seacrest says, "Hello, Katie, here's five million more votes. Enjoy!"

Michelle also gets some face time. Who decided they should get the extra screen minutes? She works in retail. I used to work in retail. We have so much in common! Have we seen her before? I don't remember. Michelle takes on my least favourite Alicia Keyes song, but she does a good job. I like that it's less than 10 years old. She also seems confident, which is something the seven girls who went before her can't say. What's with the dress bunched up on her butt? I could have done without the money note at the end, but it was the best vocal of the night. By the way, her sister: smokin' hawt. Don't tell Mrs. High Lord I said that.

Ellen thinks she was sandbagging, which is probably a good move at this point. There's no point in going all-in right now if a singer thinks they're going be around for a while, which Michelle should be. After all, we've seen too many singers peak early and get eliminated before their time (Melinda Doolittle, anyone?).

Without having to wait through yet another commercial break is Didi who reminds me vocally of Megan Joy from last year. She's too jazzy for me, although it works for her. I don't like the vocal gymnastics, but I think that's the song. Her voice is solid and her tone is clean, unlike some of the other who have gone tonight.

Simon thinks a girl is going to win this year. I'll reserve judgement until I hear all 24 of them, but I will say that the field this year seems pretty deep. Even among the girls tonight who were off a little bit, none were downright awful. I think some have a ways to go, but we have heard much, much worse as late as the Top 8 in years past.

Next up is Siobhán, which I can never remember how to pronounce (she-vawn). She has the best profession of any auditioner: glassblowing apprentice. That's a skill I'd love to learn, 'cuz I think it's cool, but I don't know that I have the patience and temperament to do. She's singing Chris Isaak, only without the naked brunette hanging over her. She starts out flat, but quickly finds the right key. I think it was a good song for her, but since I'm not a big fan of the song, it just wasn't for me. She's obviously not used to the whole being on TV thing 'cuz her interview blows.

They've been saving their TCOs for last. Turning the dial up to eleven is Crystal. Someone help me come up with a 3 or 4 letter nickname for her. Did she wash her hair today? She's obviously not the typical Idol, which could work for her or against her. She's singing "Hand in My Pocket" which gets an 11 on a scale of 10 for song choice. Crystal could really be this year's Chris Daughtry. That is, if Chris had breasts and were allowed to play the guitar back in season 5. This is her calling her shot and then knocking it right out of the park. Everybody just got put on notice. I'd almost pay money to download this song. I hate to say this, but I hope she doesn't win because winning (and all that comes with being the American Idol) will kill her. I also appreciate her honesty in that she knows this show wouldn't be her first choice to make it in the music industry, but she's willing to play the game in order to get her opportunity. I see her doing a duet with Daughtry in the finale.

Simon is a moron.

Wrapping up the first Pimp Spot of the year is Katie "My Grandma Has Alzheimer's" Stevens. She's 17 and I think Idol will break her. I hope I'm wrong. I'm not sure she is worthy of the placement. She's got a good voice; not quite the machine that Diana Degarmo was, but definitely old for her age (in a good way). I'm sure my friend Mike is thinking things about her that he shouldn't. So is Ellen. At least until next December. Ellen wants her to be current, and she's right. Has Idol opened up the checkbook and paid for Taylor Swift songs? If not, do it.

The Good
Crystal
Michelle
Lilly

The Bad
Siobhán
Katie
Didi
Katelyn

The Ugly
Ashley
Janell
Lacy
Haeley
Paige

Well, there it is. No one was awful, although a couple were close. I think Haeley, Lacy and Paige will be the bottom 3 with any two of them being eliminated and the show won't be poorer for it.

The field is deep, although there is a clear top tier with everyone else fighting for scraps. It's interesting that of the 12 girls who went tonight, 4 or 5 aren't really traditional pop singers, which is what this show is purported to be looking for.

The vocal of the night was Michelle, although the best performance was Crystal (which was in the same league as JD Fortune's version from Rock Star: INXS).

At the end of the show we get the video montage of the 12 guys who will be singing tomorrow. Nine of them look goofy and I want to kick them off immediately. Whether my snap judgement will hold up tomorrow is debatable, but I think there are four girls who stand a good chance at making it to the finale, which is something we couldn't say in years past.

I'm going to see if I can get my hunter up to level 42 now.

High Lord. Out.

EDIT: I went back and watched all the performances no-filler style last night and adjusted my reaction. The last five girls on my list really were awful. I guess I didn't want to slam Paige too hard since she went first, but these girls picked the wrong songs and were too nervous to have finished even in the second tier.

Last night before the voting starts

2010-02-17T20:55:00.002-05:00

As if Idol didn't already string things along enough, tonight we're stuck waiting an hour to find out who the last 17 of the Top 24 are.

Remember, this year, they're (unfortunately) going away from the Wild Card format and bringing back the Top 12 Guys and Top 12 Girls before the singing starts. Have I mentioned how much I hate this format? This year, I mean?

Anyhoo . . . We know who six of the final 24 are. Yes, I know they announced 7, but one of them was Big Mike Lynche who is no longer with the show. Who will replace him? Maybe they'll tell us at the end of the show.

First up is Janelle, who auditioned in a pair of Daisy Dukes that were almost short enough to read her lips. Surprisingly, she flubbed her lyrics in the final round, but still wasn't eliminated. She cries. She has great legs. I'll bet she goes through. 'Cuz Simon, Randy and Ellen are all about the hawt girls. She'll be just another IBG. Unless she forgets her lyrics in which case she'll be just another dumb blonde.

Next to get the news is Nick Simmons . . . er, Tyler Somebody. And he's through. 'Cuz Kara is all about the hawt boys.

I don't know if I can handle another 51 minutes of this. Maybe I'll go kill some trolls and come back to watch the show no-filler style.

Are they going to show everyone's final performance before giving them a yes/no? Apparently not because they just pushed through a bunch of people whose names they barely flash before moving on to the next one. I guess they're going to be breeding a new crop of Melinda Liras and Bobby Bennetts. And giving a gazillion votes to Crystal Bowersox, Andrew Garcia and the teenager whose grandma has Alzheimer's.

3-time recidivist Angela is back for more, even as her mother is missing and police are searching for her. Unfortunately, she gets whacked by Kara. Maybe she'll be back for a fourth year. I wouldn't be after this.

I wonder about people who audition over and over. And what makes them come back. That's not to say that if you wash out in Hollywood once that you aren't going to win. Some people need to mature. Idol is tough. The grind takes its toll. But if you've been there three times, don't you think that there's a reason why you keep getting eliminated. Even if you make the voting rounds, you'll probably get canned in the first show or two.

Of course, Angela seems to be the exception. She wasn't eliminated in the past because of her singing. Having to go to jail because of an outstanding warrant and her father dying isn't an indicator of ability. But how can some people keep coming back for more?

Lilly looks like a cross between Tina Yothers and Stevie Nicks. Like Crystal, she needs a Code Blue hair makeover.

More anonymous singers get advanced.

So who is this year's Archuleta? Clay? Fantasia? Bo? KLC?

Will Idolatry be as good this year now that someone put the Go in Gokey?

The last two girls are Haeley and Tori. Which one will go through? Which one will be eliminated? Did they go back to the 12 guys/12 girls thing because they don't want to have to deal with a Top 13? Will the judges's save be back or did it go away?

It's Haeley.

Then we find out who the final guy is. Is it the Latino with the crying dad? Or the black guy with the crazy mom? Andrew had better be the one or I will be very upset. The neck tattoo and chunky glasses are a little distracting, but he seems to be a better artist.

Thaddeus seems to me to be another belter, which I don't think the show needs. He's told he did great, but didn't make it. Some times it's not about you; it's just that other people did better. Take for instance the 2007 New England Patriots. Their season was a "failure" because they went 18-1 and the one loss was in the Super Bowl. Everything about their season was a success, except for one tastefully-named David Tyree catch for which there was perfect coverage and the receiver made a freak catch that he couldn't do again if he tried a thousand more times.

Some times that's the way Idol goes. Some years some folks are just better. I'm not saying there were 12 guys who were better than Thaddeus, but evidently four someones thought so. Besides, there's always next year.

That means Andrew got through, and that preceeds a montage of the people celebrating their good news.

I guess they're not going to address the Big Mike Lynche controversy and who they're going to replace him with. Maybe they'll bring Thaddeus back. Or not.

I'm going to go watch snowboarding now.

High Lord. Out.

We're into the home stretch

2010-02-16T19:47:00.003-05:00

With only two episodes left until the real singing (read: for votes) starts, things are getting exciting. I think. No one this year has blown me away. Partly it's because so many of the VSE (Very Special Episode) singers have gotten whacked in Hollywood. That means there are a couple of front-runners who've gotten some face time, but also some people are going to come out of nowhere to make the Top 12 . . . er, Top 13 . . . or however many they decide to take to the big stage.

I'll get to Idol in a few, but I'm going to start with the Olympics, which I have lost Mrs. High Lord to for the next two weeks. First of all, let me say that I don't go wild over the Olympics (summer or winter), but I tune in every now and then. The one thing I don't like about the Winter Olympics is because of the smaller field, Bob Costas doesn't get to make his Central African Republic joke. Plus, I wish they'd send Katie Couric to co-host with him for the opening ceremonies, not Matt Lauer.

What I'd really like to rant about is the video NBC showed of Georgian luge athlete Nodar Kumaritashvilli being killed when his luge sled threw him from the track in a freak accident. What doesn't shock me is that someone was injured or killed at the Olympics; sure we take for granted that sports are safe, but the bottom line is that these are dangerous activities that have the risk of death.

I'm ticked off because they showed the accident in the "pre-game" show.

Why did CBS get hit with a half-million dollar fine for showing Janet Jackson's pastie-covered breast and nothing happens to NBC for showing a man being killed? Are boobies so bad that they can't be shown (never mind that everyone has two), but it's okay for NBC to air snuff video?

(The answer is "no" by the way.)

This irks me to no end. Not only is it in bad taste--the story of an Olympic athlete being killed can be effectively told without video of his death--but it reeks of sheer idiocy. I guess it's to be expected in the United States, though; we have movies that show massive gun battles (Red Dawn) getting PG-13 ratings along with movies that show two women's breasts for a matter of seconds (Police Academy 2). Is death and destruction that much preferable to tits?

(The answer is "no" by the way.)

Anyway, I'm enjoying most of what I'm seeing of the Olympics, although I felt bad for whomever lost his/her job over the hydraulic lifts/doors not working at the opening ceremonies.

Idol has just started and I'm a little perplexed by the approach of the show. Apparently we're not going to be seeing the final 71 singers actually singing. They've gone straight to the Rooms of Doom™.

There are three rooms. One will probably be eliminated immediately, and the other two rooms will be brought back to be whittled down to the Top 24, which start next Tuesday.

No wait, they're showing singing. I don't know that I like this approach.

How 'bout that Daytona 500? Almost three hours in two red flags to fix a pothole. I almost had enough time to take a nap. Who doesn't think they should re-surface the track before the 4^th of July race? I'm just happy to be able to watch guys drive around turning left again.

Also, it was good to see Danica Patrick have a reasonably good showing. It's too bad she got wrecked. Oh, well, live and learn. 'Cuz that happens.

My Lord of the Rings Online elf hunter is up to level 37. I just opened up a couple of new areas where I'm getting my butt kicked by some new monsters that like to gang up on me. If anyone out there wants to go for some quests in Evendim, the Trollshaws or the Misty Mountains, let me know.

Of the people I've seen tonight, Crystal (guitar playing mom with bad hair) is among my faves. I think she could be really, really good. She makes me wonder how far Chris Daughtry would have gone had he been allowed to play the guitar on stage. Now if only the Idol stylists would call Nick Arrojo and get her some good hair . . .

To me, things look good for Room 1; they've got Crystal but also Andrew Garcia, the Latino with the big, chunky glasses whose parents moved him away from the gangs and who absolutely killed with his unplugged rendition of "Straight Up". If those two are not in the Top 24, it will be a crime.

What will not be a crime is if Crazy Mary Powers and the rest of room 2 gets whacked. Of course, there are enough other people with promise in that room that she might make it to the final-cut down, but I don't know how far she'll get. After all, she seems to be more of a shouter, and they never do well as the season goes on. The rest of the singers they've shown from room 2 are generally unspectacular. Hope is flat for most of her performance, and no one else seems to be much better.

In room 3, Shelby (Bell's Palsy girl) worried about flubbing her lyrics and Aaron effed his up. Everyone else in room 3 should also worry. Of course, making it through this round is no guarantee for the Top 24. And even then, if your dad ran his yap, you can still get kicked off the show before the voting starts.

We're 52 minutes into the show and are they going to start eliminating people now? I read over at MSNBC, that they're going to reveal part of the Top 24 tonight . . . but then again, stranger things have happened.

Room 1 is up first and it's going to be good news (of course).

Next to get the news is room 2 and they're going home. Some will be back, but not everyone.

That means room 3 is also being advanced and then they start introducing the Top 24. Forty-six made it through this round of cuts and twenty-two of them are going to get whacked in the final cuts.

I'm going to yawn through this part of the show because I think it's meaningless drama. I might even skip the show tomorrow and wait for the singing to start before I blog again.

Or maybe not.

High Lord. Out.